Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Thintervention with Jackie Warner- episode 1- "I certainly would never hang out with a chubby queer."

OH MAN. When a weight loss reality show has lines like this one you know it's going to be a very interesting season, indeed. Those gems and many more courtesy of the "bad girl" of Thintervention--and it isn't Jackie Warner.

Meet Nikki! One of the eight folks trying to lose weight and look great. She loves her cocktails, gay men, and is a trust fund baby. She is also my number one reason for wanting to watch this show.

She's got this amazing gravely Aussie smoker's voice and biting wit. A modern day Dorothy Parker if Parker was a "life coach" and reality show participant. If you watch Real Housewives of DC she is a little like the meany British woman on that show--where does Bravo find them?!?

Anyhoo. Thintervention with Jackie Warner is a pleasant surprise in the reality weight loss roster. Gone is Jackie's staff of less than professional and annoying personal trainers (no Rebecca!) and Jackie's drama with girlfriends. Instead we get to see what Jackie does best: Work out. For real.

Jackie and her assistant and Bob Harper look-a-like Craig Ramsay will work with eight clients over seven weeks, then the clients will work on their own for six weeks. They will also meet for weekly therapy sessions and weigh ins. So, let's meet the colorful cast of characters!

Stacy: Age-23; Career-stand up comic; Weight-224 lbs; Body Fat-50%; Goal-lose 50 lbs Stacy is Jewish and blames that and having polycystic ovaries for her heaviness.

Jeana: Age-54; Career-Real Housewife of OC; Weight-174 lbs; Body Fat-27.4%; Goal-lose 25 lbs If you watch Bravo, you know who Jeana is. You also know she has a HUGE house, three not so pleasant children, and a mean ex husband. She also was a smokin' hot Playboy playmate back in the eighties.

Nikki: Age-39; Career-"Life Coach"; Weight-223 lbs; Body Fat-34.3%; Goal-lose 50 lbs Nikki doesn't work, but she is a life coach. She drinks vodka for breakfast and smokes clove cigarettes. She is my favorite character.

Bryan: Age-36; Career-runs independent film company; Weight-266 lbs; Body Fat-35.1%; Goal-lose 60 lbs Bryan has the most weight to lose, and it looks like he has his work cut out for him. He is gay (the chubby queer quote was in reference to him) and wants to look good for his hot partner. He hides sweets all over his home.

Joe: Age-35; Career-event producer; Weight-230 lbs; Body Fat-32.2%; Goal-lose 40 lbs Joe is straight, loves cheeseburgers, and can't close the deal with the ladies. He also picks up women at the airport for sex.

Kim: Age-47; Career-mom; Weight-180 lbs; Body Fat-29.8%; Goal-lose 30 lbs Kim was an athlete in high school and college and was a fitness model. She is the mother of the next participant. . .

Shay: Age-22; Career-daughter; Weight-204 lbs; Body Fat-50%; Goal-lose 50 lbs Shay is Kim's daughter. She loves ice cream and wants to "keep her Beyonce thickness".

Mandy: Age-48; Career-Stay at home mom; Weight-167 lbs; Body Fat-27.0%; Goal-lose 30 lbs Mandy was a pro cheerleader and now spends her time taking baths with her husband and eating food off her kid's plates.

Jackie meets the participants for an initial fitness assessment and then tells everyone their homework assignment is to clean all the sugar from their homes. "FU. How's that?" quips Bryan, the sugar addict. Jackie tells them anything over 5 grams of sugar needs to go. She also gives the participants Blackberrys so she can keep in touch with them. How Hollywood!

Some of the participants like Kim and Shay complete the assignment quickly and easily. Others not so much. Bryan admits he ate two cookies and Jackie makes him run up and down his stairs until he burns off the calorie equivalent of two cookies. Mandy took all of her sugar and made loads of cookies, brownies, and rice crispy treats to feed her kids. Jackie tells her the intent was to show sugar was not okay to use and punishes her by making her run suicide drills.

Jackie also runs the participants through a grueling boot camp style beach workout: Crunches, belly crawls, flipping tires, bicep curls with sandbags. . .and then having to pull weighted buoys in from the ocean. She explains the weight represents what each contestant wants to lose to put it into perspective for everyone.

After the workout, Jeana invites Nikki, Joe, and Bryan over to her home for dinner (from her personal chef no less) where they all chat it up about relationships, being fat, and having sex. What's a Bravo reality show without a little drama? Maybe a possible love connection between Joe and Jeana? Better than going to the airport.

At the therapy session/weigh-in, everyone shares their initial reasons for why they think they are heavy, and Jackie promises every week they will delve deeper into their psyches. . . Did they lighten their load?

Stacy: From 224 lbs to 217 lbs- 7 lbs lost

Bryan: From 266 lbs to 259 lbs- 7 lbs lost

Jeana: From 174 lbs to 170 lbs- 4 lbs lost

Joe: From 230 lbs to 220 lbs- 10 lbs lost

Mandy: From 167 lbs to 162 lbs- 5 lbs lost

Shay: From 204 lbs to 199 lbs- 5 lbs lost

Kim: From 180 lbs to 171 lbs- 9 lbs lost

Nikki: From 223 lbs to 217 lbs- 6 lbs lost

So far so good! The show is entertaining and Jackie seems like a caring and concerned trainer. She gives out good advice like "Cookies are pain" and "Workouts are not painful. They're pleasure." Her diet advice also is sound--low sugar, drink lots of water, lean meats and veggies. She is in ridiculous shape and you know that she worked really hard for that physique. It's also nice to watch a show that isn't about game play or strategy. If you put in the hard work, the results will come. No elimination ceremonies necessary.

Thintervention with Jackie Warner is on Bravo Monday nights. Watch what happens.

1 comment:

  1. PCOS is more than polycystic ovaries its an endocrine disorder that is known to make many previously slender women heavy.