The Biggest Loser- week 4- Dial D for Delivery

I knew this week's episode of The Biggest Loser was going to be great when it started with crazy Trazy and her crazy eyes. I knew that NBC could not resist the siren song of reality mayhem! The episode recaps in stark black and white (for extra dramatic effect) the choices that Trazy has made since she returned to the BL ranch- choosing the 2 pound weight advantage, throwing Shay under the bus, etc. We follow the Orange Team getting all up in the Purple Team's bizness, and Shay putting a bounty on Trazy's head- she will never trust her again. Bum bum bum.

But today is a new day, and what do you say for taking chances? Or, what have you done today to make you feel proud? It's never too late to try. I love tv theme songs. We are back on the ranch in color, and as the teams make their way into the gym, Trazy meets with Dr. H, who tells her that she can't workout. At all. Not even in the pool, which I'm sure Abby feels a little relieved about. So Coach Mo has to carry the team again. How Trazy is getting this free ride at the ranch is curious.

The rest of the contestants start their workout montage, and we see Jillian trying to break down Julio, trying to get to the meat of his potatoes. Why was he over 400 pounds when he arrived at the ranch? Besides the fact that he is at least 7 feet tall. Instead of being abused as a child or having a deadbeat parent, Julio states he loves food. He likes to cook it, smell it, eat it. It was a little pornographic- I was seeing a vision of a Yoplait yogurt dressed in a bikini. Jillian seems satisfied with this response, and goes off in search of other prey.

Then we follow the contestants into the kitchen, we notice that all the kitchen cabinets have been chained and locked. And Ali is there. Which means that the contestants have a new weekly challenge: they must order all of their food from restaurant delivery- breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The contestants must use everything they have learned about portion control, calorie counting, and sauces on the side to succeed this week.

I live in New York City, and delivery is just as natural as breathing or hailing a cab: it's what we do. Apparently, every where else in the country this is not common. We watch the contestants struggle on the phone as they ask for no cheese and skinless breasts of chicken. I guess Dominoes online ordering is a lot easier.

No suprise, the food comes to the contestants incorrectly, and we watch them get flustered and frustrated. Either this is the worst delivery restaurant in all of LA, or NBC just loves to mess with these people. I vote for the latter.

The game show portion of the show for this week is chosing the healthy choice out of 3 meals. (The answer is A. Shhh.) Whichever teams chose A then had to guess the calorie count of the meal- and whichever team was closer would win a years supply of healthy groceries. The Pink Team was the big winner, which was a boost to their confidence and morale. Poor Shay from the Orange Team tells us that she has three jobs and winning the groceries would have really helped. Wee woo. At least losing some weight will give her more energy for those jobs!

When Bob and Jillian hear of the weekly challenge, they decide to take the contestants out to eat. I really was hoping it wasn't Subway, because that is not the type of date I want to go on with Bob. My thoughts were rewarded- and I'm sure the contestants were thankful too- because they all get to go out to eat at a Mexican restaurant.

MEXICAN? Holy frijoles.

I love Mexican food. I love the chips, the guacomole, and most importantly, the margaritas. I felt for these contestants as they struggled through the order process and told the world's most patient waiter no to the baskets of chips and salsa, yes to sauceless salads and lardless black beans, and no to the margaritas. Even though I know that Jillian loves her tequila- I read her tweets! But when the contestants look like Jillian, they too can have a shot. My favorite comment of dinner was Liz ordering- Bob tried to take the reigns and order no sauce, and Liz declares, "But I want the sauce!". She gets it on the side, and the world is right. It was a stressful date night, but an informative one. And Jillian breaks down the second contestant of the night- Rebecca- who starts crying because she wants to wear skinny jeans. No dinner would be complete without someone bursting into tears.

Then it is time for the physical challenge. The contestants are strapped to a board that hangs over a pool and they must hold onto straps for as long as possible without falling in. Sounds easy enough, but I forget that many of these contestants weigh over 300 to 400 pounds. That is a lot of weight to hold up against gravity. The contestants literally drop out one by one, until firefighter Alan and Dan the man are the last two hanging. Dan wins this one, gaining immunity for the Orange Team and beating his curse from last season- he will now make it on to week 5.

At the last chance workout, Coach Mo pushes himself so hard that he starts to panic and causes himself some pain on the tricep dips. Will he be able to lose enough weight for both he and Trazy?

At the weigh in, there are a few twists and turns. The Orange Team weighs in first since they have immunity, and Dan weighs in with zero pounds lost. Game play!!! He says it's not, honest! But we aren't suckers, Dan. Watch him lose like 50 pounds next week. Rudy from the Blue Team pulls out 11 magical pounds. The Green Team pulls it off even though Abby has been swimming her weight off. The Purple Team manages to stay in the game, even with Coach Mo injured and Trazy losing weight somehow- apparently, sitting at the kitchen table and fretting burns a lot of calories. 4 pounds worth.

The bottom teams are the Brown Team with Danny and Country Liz and Julio, the remaining black team member. The other contestants have a tough choice to make- eliminate 2 contestants or eliminate 1. They rise above the game play, and get rid of Julio. And on his recap, we see him looking mighty svelte and trying to get his family in on the action. They do show him cooking food, and he looks happier than a pig in poop.

Next weeks show looks like an exciting one- who is going to be in charge of dividing the teams into blue versus black? If it is Trazy, it should promise to be a very exciting episode, indeed.

The Naughty Chef- Episode 1- Better Bring Your Stretchy Pants

And no. I did not think of this title. It was on the info screen on my DVR.

The Naughty Chef is a new show on the Oxygen network featuring "celebrity" chef Blythe Beck, a larger than life, loud mouthed chef who is the executive chef of Central 214 restaurant in the Hotel Palomar in Dallas, TX. And when I say larger than life, I mean it- Blythe is a plus size lady who says she cooks "sexy new American cuisine" which is made with beer, bacon, cheese. And her "I'm not a skinny bitch" attitude is a snub in the face to the wave of "healthy" reality shows that have been hitting the tube. It's just a little ironic that Oxygen just finished the controversial reality show Dance Your Ass Off, which was called many things, none of which was particularly positive by the critics (I loved it, but then, I love almost anything that has dancing and weight loss in it), and now they are serving up this show.

And I am trying to figure out EXACTLY the message of The Naughty Chef.

It is from the producers of The Ace of Cakes, a reality show that follows a bakery of crazy folks in Maryland and the exotic confections that they create. So, is this show about the restaurant industry? Maybe. The opening montage shows a bustling kitchen and lots of praise from customer and co-workers alike for the over the top Beck, who uses phrases like a heart this and monkey and naughty this naughty that. She seems well loved by all that come into contact with her gregarious personality.

But then one customer says that Beck likes food and she is not a size 2 and she doesn't care. And Beck is large. After watching so many shows, I would say that Beck is at least 250 pounds, at least. Probably closer to 300 pounds. And with a menu that includes such healthful treats as Iceburg Babies (their number 1 best selling salad) and Chicken Fried Kobe, how couldn't she be? We see trays of steaming gravy laden dishes, mountains of cobbler, bowls of cheddar mac and cheese (and yes, I will admit my mouth is watering as I type this- I am not made out of lettuce). She is the foul mouthed Paula Dean who drinks and trash talks. Is the show abut her weight?

I think so. This show is not just about the restaurant and it's kooky staff of Door Whores and hated waiters. This show is about a female chef who hates being thin, calls her food naughty, and encourages all to accept the naughty with her. Now the show will lead you to think that this show is covering the trials and tribulations of a struggling new chef making her way in the world, and how bright she is, and how confident she is. But when I watch I see someone who isn't naughty- she is, well, mean. She berates most everyone she comes into contact with, and seems to despise the fact that anyone could be heathy and thin. When she gets 2 stars from a critic, I don't feel bad for her. I feel like she should suck it instead.

I am from Oklahoma, and I know first hand about the weight issues that plague the folks of the southern midwest. Texas does not need chicken fried Kobes, people. But the people LOVE it. They love someone that says "F you, steamed vegies!" and ladles up another side of mashed potatoes. They want someone to tell them that it's okay to eat this way. To tell them they are a skinny bitch that needs a chicken fried sandwich.

And every other show out there is the opposite message. I am so confused! What is Oxygen trying to establish with it's viewers when they preach eat what you want and then show ads for the Hollywood cookie diet and Slimquick diet pills?

The ironic thing is that everyone on the show keeps telling Beck that she is so full of life, and she looks as if she could die of a heart attack and not give a flip at any moment. And if she wants to live her life like that, she can live out loud. But I don't know why when obesity is so high in this country and people are dying from it, why we need a show that glorifies the naughty- and naughty means fat. The jury is out- I would like to say that it is okay to be anyway you want to be as long as you are happy. But if you are going to rub butter in America's face, don't expect everyone to want a taste.