Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Kirstie Alley's Big Life- episodes 3 and 4- "Oh, Rats! It's My Birthday!" and "Swimming in the Rain"
Let's just say that the show is a bit about everything.
In episode three, Kirstie's assistant Kelly and her children True and Lillie are planning a surprise birthday party for Kirstie. The big surprise is if they can get the Travolta family to attend. I keep forgetting that Kirstie did "Look Who's Talking?" with John Travolta a billion years ago- I love that movie! Bruce Willis as the voice of the baby Mikey? Priceless. I digress. Kirstie has been taking private salsa lessons at home, and her kids want her birthday to be salsa themed. Kelly leaves the kids in charge of the guest list (what?) and the birthday cake.
Meanwhile, chubby buddy Jim is losing a battle against some cute and cuddly RATS that keep terrorizing the Alley estate. Kirstie refuses to let Jim exterminate them. They keep releasing the rats into the "wilderness", only to have the same rodents returning again and again. When Jim goes to release a rat in the park, he is so out of shape that he leans against a sign post in front of Kirstie's house and just let the rat run free into a neighbor's yard. Problem solved.
Jim is then rewarded for his hard work by going with True and Lillie to pick out and sample birthday cakes for Kirstie. And by sample, I mean that the kids tasted while he looked on longingly. That's an improvement over the Jim I saw last week with a big ol' burger in his mouth.
Birthday morning, Kirstie is greeted by her loving family and some balloons, and True promises her a quiet day and dinner at the Sizzler. Trainer J.R. gives Kirstie "chocolate and flowers": His muscled frame in a pair of skimpy speedos and a big bouquet of flowers. After a pool workout (Kirstie wears a long sleeve shirt and pants in the pool), she and Jim clean up and have a nice lunch with family and friends.
Later that night, True and Lillie load Kirstie into a white Hummer stretch limo (to her embarrassment) and end up at El Cid Salsa Club. Kirstie is surprised by all her close friends, and the Travolta's make an appearance. John shows us his smooth dance moves (he really is good!) and he and wife Kelly give Kirstie a really pricey looking necklace. She blows out the candles on her cake, wishes for something- maybe world peace- and the party ends.
After turning down cake at her party, I was surprised to see her sneaking a piece from her fridge. I was happy to see it was only for the rat. Lucky rat.
Episode four was more weight oriented. Kirstie is frustrated that Jim always loses more weight than she does, so she vows to lose weight at a ritzy spa resort with her ladies and apprentice Kyle. She leaves Jim to fend for himself, but he has the advantage of having J.R. there to work him out.
It's officially on.
At the spa, Kirstie takes dance class, cooking class, gets massages and manicures, and tops it off with an early morning hike that she threatens to quit. At home, Jim works out with J.R., pulls branches out of the pool, and hangs out with True and housekeeper Magdalena.
When Kirstie arrives home, it is time for the weigh in. So who won? Kirstie lost 6 pounds. Jim? He lost 9 pounds. But her nails DO look nice.
One moment that I wanted to write about was between Kirstie and her daughter Lillie. Kirstie is worried that her crazy relationship with her body has poisoned her daughter's view of her own body. She apologizes to her for being a bad example. This moment struck a chord with me because I have always hated my body. I am getting to a healthy point in my life where I am learning to love myself, but it took me YEARS to overcome my negative mindset. I was raised in a family where personal appearance was king, and "gentle" ribbing about what you looked like was okay. I thought I was fat my WHOLE life. When I look at photos of me as a kid, I wonder why my folks were so concerned- I was little and cute, not chubby at all. Their over concern led me to think I was heavy, and it became a self fulfilling prophecy by the time I got to college.
It made me realize that I want my sons and daughters to love the way their bodies are- to be strong and fit and healthy- and not worry about tummies and eating a second helping if they are truly hungry and not making them feel badly about it. It was wise of Kirstie to take a look around and see if there was any collateral damage from her struggles with weight. I hope other parents do the same sort of damage control.
Her Big Life seems to be getting smaller. . .one stone at a time.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
I am BORED. And I still don't believe the weights they are showing are really real. Reality programming NOT real? Say it ain't so!
I thought I would write a little highlight reel about each episode instead of going in for the full monty.
The Drama: Bobby Brown arrives at Fit Camp only to tell his team mates and Harvey that he has a show in London the next day. Will he stay or will he go? He stays. What happened to all the folks in London that bought tickets?
The Challenge: The Fit Club Games= Four events that measure endurance, agility, speed, and strength.
- * Tanisha and Jay are clipped to parachutes and have to run against hurricane gale force winds. Tanisha gets lifted off the ground and flies for a second. Then she passes out. WINNER: JAY
* Kevin and Jay have to haul 225-pound sand bags on a sled uphill. WINNER: JAY
* Kaycee and Shar have to capture the flag while Harvey shoots them with tennis balls. WINNER: SHAR
* Sebastian and Bobby have to run uphill and jump over hurdles for one mile. WINNER: SEBASTIAN
Bobby Brown was so slow on the race that the Blue Team ended up winning even though the Red Team won every other event. FAIL. Bobby does the dead weight challenge, which is picking up all the hay bale hurdles and dragging them back down the hill that he just ran up.
R & R: Cross reality show time! So You Think You Can Dance winner Josh shows up at camp to get the contestants involved in a dance off. Maybe Kevin has some flash backs to his movie "You Got Served". Everyone shows their moves, and High School Musical hip hopper Kaycee is crowned the winner.
DRAMA: Nicole and Bobby tell team captain Jay that maybe he needs to worry about himself instead of them. Jay loses weight every week. Bobby and Nicole don't. Judgement call: Jay is the winner.
Kevin: Last week: 215 lbs Today: 212 lbs Goal: 3 lbs Total Loss: 3 lbs Next Week's Goal: 4 lbs
Tanisha: Last week: 229 lbs Today: 228 lbs Goal: 4 lbs Total Loss: 1 lb Next Week's Goal: 5 lbs
Shar: Last week: 137 lbs Today: 134 lbs Goal: 3 lbs Total Loss: 3 lbs Next Week's Goal: 3 lbs
Sebastian: Last week: 211 lbs Today: 210 lbs Goal: 4 lbs Total Loss: 1 lb Next Week's Goal:4 lbs
Bobby: Last week: 191 lbs Today: 191 lbs Goal: 4 lbs Total Loss: 0 Next Week's Goal: 4 lbs
Kaycee: Last week: 184 lbs Today: 180 lbs Goal: 3 lbs Total Loss: 4 lbs Next Week's Goal: 4 lbs
Nicole: Last week: 124 lbs Today: 127 lbs Goal: 3 lbs Gained: 3 lbs Next Week's Goal: 3 lbs
Jay: Last week: 238 lbs Today: 231 lbs Goal: 4 lbs Total Loss: 7 lbs Next Week's Goal: 3 lbs
REALLY? 0 pounds lost and 3 pounds gained? What is going on with these people? I wish they got voted off every week because I AM TIRED of the excuses.
The challenge: The Fit Club marathon. Marathon= 3.2 mile track that you run on for an hour. So, not a marathon. But for "celebrities", yes, it is.
Even though Sebastian ran the course a few times over, the Red Team still won because Kevin and Tanisha are babies and couldn't do it. Tanisha actually stood at the base of the hill on the course and cried because she didn't want to climb up it. Because of this, she was voted the dead weight and had to scoop horse poop.
R & R: Game night on the Wii fit. Sebastian notes that Kaycee looks like one of the Mii's on the game.
Life Coach Rhonda Time: Rhonda has Googled all of the "stars" bad press and makes them read it out loud. We focus mostly on Kevin and Shar because their drama is real and on going. Kevin looks like an ass. The exercise was meant for the "celebs" to get over themselves. I don't know if it was successful.
PT: The teams have to compete in a brick event like they are training for a triathlon. Tanisha actually beats Bobby. Bobby gets a hernia horse in his knee. It's science.
Jay: Last week: 231 lbs Today: 227 lbs Goal: 4 lbs Total Loss: 4 lbs Next Week's Goal: 4 lbs
Kevin: Last week: 215 lbs Today: 210 lbs Goal: 4 lbs Total Loss: 2 lb Next Week's Goal: 4 lbs
Nicole: Last week: 127 lbs Today: 122 lbs Goal: 3 lbs Total Loss: 5 lbs Next Week's Goal: 2 lbs
Kaycee: Last week: 180 lbs Today: 178 lbs Goal: 3 lbs Total Loss: 2 lbs Next Week's Goal:4 lbs
Shar: Last week: 134 lbs Today: 133 lbs Goal: 3 lbs Total Loss: 1 lb Next Week's Goal: 3 lbs
Sebastian: Last week: 210 lbs Today: 209 lbs Goal: 4 lbs Total Loss: 1 lb Next Week's Goal: 3 lbs
Bobby: Last week: 191 lbs Today: 189 lbs Goal: 4 lbs Total Loss: 2 lbs Next Week's Goal: 4 lbs
Tanisha: Last week: 228 lbs Today: 223 lbs Goal: 5 lbs Total Loss: 5 lbs Next Week's Goal: 5 lbs
Everyone ACTUALLY lost weight this week. I think there is only one more episode left- maybe two? The only person that has reached their initial goal is the fab Jay. Everyone else has a pound or two. And Bobby has to pay $1,000 to charity for every pound he doesn't lose. We should implement this policy for everyone! If there are real stakes involved, people will hustle and lay off the real steaks.
I recently got to write a beauty review for www.spa-nyc.com for a threading salon called Hibba NYC. I wanted to share my lovely sculpted brows with you!
I have never tried threading, and I am happy to report that it is really nicer than the hot wax and pulling. But if wax is your thing, Hibba (the namesake and owner) is happy to comply. There are all sorts of hair removal options on the menu.
Hibba NYC is located on the corner of West Broadway and Prince street in an bright, breezy corner studio. Hibba is a relaxed hostess who welcomes you with a smile and genuine warmth. The prices are really reasonable too! And what foxy lady doesn't want to save a little green?
Check it out, chicas!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Clearly she won't be shilling for JC again. And as Valerie Bertinelli has shown you can keep the weight off. Fingers crossed, Jason Alexander! So what is the point of The Big Life?
As the title of the first episode shows, she has reached a tipping point in her life. Kirstie should have stock in US Weekly and The National Enquirer because when she is on the cover she sells magazines. And not because she has a hot new movie coming out or a new book: It's because she was thin then she was fat then she was thin again and then she was fat again. She is currently fat. And she wants to change, but she knows it will be hard and she needs help.
The first show introduces her support team: Lillie and True, her teenage kids who love their mom and want her to be happy and fit. And they are totally willing to call her out when she is being lazy. Kelly, her longtime assistant whom Kirstie states would totally get a date if she would just brush her hair. Kyle, her "apprentice" (I don't know what that means, but I think he is just another assistant) who came all the way from Kirstie's home state of Kansas to work for her. He taught her how to Twitter. Tracy, her stylist who finds all those long flowing twirly gowns that she likes to wear. And JIM. Jim is a handy man who is based in Florida- and I don't know why he is there "working" when he lives in Florida- and is Kirstie's "chubby buddy". If over 300 pounds makes you chubby.
Kirstie also has a menagerie of animals- cats, dogs, lemurs (think Madagascar). I think I saw a bird cage in there. It's a literal zoo.
With this "wacky" cast of characters set, where does the weight loss come into the equation? The episode shows Kirstie trying to pick out a New Year's Eve dress, but she stops when the paparazzi (also a major character) take a picture of her while she is sitting in her back yard that is incredibly unflattering. She decides not to go out, defeated. Her assistants are going out on the town, but have to be back to work at 5 AM January 1st to weigh Kirstie for her newest weight loss endeavor.
From what I can ascertain, Kirstie has some new weight loss product that she is going to be using during the show. She has also roped in Jim, her "Jimmy" pig for testing the products. Kirstie is going to need some serious motivation- this episode showed her working out for about seven minutes before she quit.
On New Year's Eve, she has a dinner "date" with Jim, where they swap stories on how they gained the weight. Kirstie is very candid about her old methods of losing weight- snorting coke and smoking cigarettes- and that she has very bad habits. When she stopped doing drugs she never stopped eating, hence the weight gain. Jim is shown eating monster fat food burgers (I meant to type fast but I like the mistake. It's fitting, no?) so we know why he is heavy. He says after he got married he sort of gave up because there was no more reasons to stay fit.
The next morning is "the moment of truth". At 5 AM she gets on the scale with Kelly and Kyle looking on. She weighs in at 230 lbs. "Is it over 180?" she asks. "Just a smidgen," Kelly lies. Kirstie decides she wants her weight in stones, and she is 16 stones wanting to lose 6.4 stones. Or 90 pounds for us non British people.
"The truth hurts," Kirstie sighs.
On the second episode, Kirstie enlists her assistant Kyle to find a personal trainer for herself and Jim. And they need that motivation, because Jim doing jumping jacks may be one of the funniest things I have watched in a while. Kirstie has an at home gym, kind of like a Curves set up, but let's be honest. They are pretty half-assed exercisers. Even the Wii is kicking their butts. And Jim, if you are reading this? Don't wear shoes on the Wii balance board. :)
Kirstie states that she hates trainers, but Jim knows the only way they are going to do this properly is to get someone to get them to really push themselves. Not anyone too Jillian, but not anyone too new age fruity.
Kyle brings in a motley crew of PT choices: From Stephen who looks like a pedophile to Dallas who may have been a man at some point, things look bleak until J.R. walks in. Tall, dark, and made out of muscle, Kirstie seems immediately drawn to him and his methods. And his ripped abs. In a somewhat awkward conversation, Kirstie hires him. . .but tells him she isn't used to being around black people. "Aren't you friends with Oprah?" he asks. She laughs (the whole time she has been sitting next to her stylist Kelly who is black) and all is right with the world.
J.R. comes in to give Kirstie and Jim a fit test. Let's be honest- J.R. has his work cut out for him. There is a lot of grunting, groaning, and complaining and this is only the beginning. THE EASY LEVEL. But J.R.'s philosophy is simple: "Hard work is hard muscles." He establishes his client's goals: Kirstie wants to weigh between 130-140 pounds and Jim wants to weigh 195.
I think Kirstie has the fire. Of course, the next morning at 5 AM she tells Kyle to let her go back to sleep and if J.R. calls to not answer. But she is a fighter, that Kirstie Alley. I know she will succeed. Just after she wakes up.
Know why The Biggest Loser hearts Oklahoma? Because there are a lot of fatty fatkins there. Know how I know? Because I was raised in Oklahoma City and also used to be a fatty fatkins. My father has always struggled with his weight, my aunts and cousins struggle with their weight, my little brother was getting a little chunky there for a while but recently stopped drinking and lost about 15 pounds.
Oklahoma is spread out so you need a car to live there. If you see someone walking or riding a bike you assume it's because they have a DUI, no kidding! Our public transportation system is a joke, and we have SO many drive throughs and restaurant chains. We like to eat because culturally there isn't a ton going on. Don't get me wrong- there is a small community for the arts. But we all know each other because it is so small. Entertainment isn't museums and cafes, it's Cheeseburger in Paradise and a movie at the mall.
I wasn't surprised to see that Biggest Loser hosted auditions this past weekend in Oklahoma City. What surprised me after reading this article courtesy of News 9 in OKC was the amount of people who seem like they simply can't do it UNLESS they are cast on the show. That watching BL kind of makes them want to work out, and maybe sometimes they do. I wish I could shake these folks and tell them they don't need the show. What they need is that burning fire from within and the ability to believe in themselves to want to change. They don't need Bob and Jillian and temptation challenges and weigh ins in front of America with their shirts off.
Friday, March 19, 2010
I am happy to report that all muscles are fine, still a little sore, but I can move pretty normally. When I say traveling injury, I mean it started in my low back, moved to the middle of my hip, moved to the side of my hip, traveled to my hip flexor and my inner thigh, and today it seems to be focused mid glute. Every day is an adventure with this injury!
I never dreamed I would be out of commission for for a week or more when I ignored my body's warning signs. This has been an excellent lesson. :)
NEW NEWS: The date for my PT test is April 23! Plenty of study to be done between then and now. Please send lots of positive vibes my way!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
My mom is a little thing- only 5'2" and about 120 pounds on a bad day. She has always had a "food is fuel" mentality, whereas I think food is delish and the more the merrier. Hence why I had a weight problem and she didn't. Looking back, I am thankful that my mom instilled in me those positive food thoughts. Can you imagine if Michelle Obama had been in the White House too? Why, I may not be writing this blog! (Just kidding. I still would have this passion- I just had to take the long hard road to get here.)
The Huffington Post featured this article about our fearless First Lady speaking at the Grocery Manufactures Association. She put the smack down on companies such as Kraft and Coca-Cola about the products they produce. It is refreshing to read that someone is calling out these companies that are mislabeling products as healthy, taking fat out of a product and replacing it with sugar and salt, and supplying our kids with vending machine Frankenfoods.
With new bills being passed to reduce the epidemic of childhood obesity, the Froot Loops and Fruity Pebbles of my childhood may become a distant memory. Have you read the label on a box of Froot Loops? The number one ingredient is SUGAR. Before the grain! And the front of the box has a huge banner that touts it is a nutritious source of fiber. OMG, y'all.
I'm hoping that all these healthy regulations pass and nutritious real foods become the norm instead of a trend. And I hope that the busy mom at Wal-Mart with her four kids running around her won't have to take time out to read the label on that box of cereal because we will all know what's in it. Follow my nose! It always knows!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
It's been a while, right? Last time I came to youse I had just said sayonara to Momma. So much has happened since that day, diary. I won immunity in a challenge that I danced to like Olivia Newton John (love her!). I got to compete in the Winter Olympics as a champion hospital bootie slippery board luger. I made a new best friend in Miggy, and if she wasn't already engaged . . .I might give some serious thought to thinking about the possibility of maybe tapping that.
But this week was a real challenge, diary. I think I may have been given an offer I couldn't refuse and now I have changed the way we are playing The Biggest Loser. Let me paint a picture for youse (wiggling lines like on TV that show we are going back into the not so distant past):
After we got home from the Olympics, we had a weigh in and that bitch Melissa got sent home (praise God) and Darrell and Cheryl were balancing lit torches on their heads to see who was going to go home. After 9 minutes of squatting (Holy Moses, I don't know if I could have ever done that) Darrell's torch fell off and it was real sad to see him go. Lotsa tears. I was glad that Daris still had his mom here and it made me miss my mom.
The next morning I could smell the delicious calling card of one of my fave treats- chocolate chip cookies- wafting through the house. Wassamatta with the people running this show? We gots a ton of fatties, right? Trying to lose weight and do the right thing and they throw a temptation challenge at us involving mountains of cookies!?! Like the troughs of M & M's at the last temptation challenge, I knew that the mountains of cookies on the tables was no good.
We meet Ali, looking super fine as usual, and she tells us the rules of the temptation: Whoever participates and wins gets to decide who is on the Blue team and who is on the Black team. We are back on teams! Right on. The catch? The game involves eating cookies any time you lose a turn. Each cookie is 100 calories. Okay. . .I thinks to myself I can blink and burn 100 calories. What else? The game is like Memory, which I used to play with my moms, and you have to match the foods behind each window. If you make a match, the people you are playing against have to eat the matched food. If you don't make the match, you eat a cookie. What you are trying to find are two golden tickets! Like Willy Wonka! Can you imagine if the Biggest Loser ranch was made out of chocolate? If you find the tickets, you are in control of who gets on what team, with which trainer, and you get to chose the one person who gets immunity.
Sounds easy enough.
Ali asks who wants to participate, and everyone looks scared like the last temptation challenge. I knew that if Melissa was still here she would TOTALLY play. She lives for this stuff. I raised my hand 'cause HELLO! We are playing a game here! And then 'Drea raises her hand! BAM. It's on. We are two single kids, free from our parents, ready to engage in some adult like Memory game activity.
First off, I would like to say in my humble opinion that if the show wants us to lose weight they shouldn't give us challenges that involve eating a buncha crap. Why can't the challenge be who can eat the most bananas or who can put the most apples in their mouth at one time? The game wasn't like that, though. Lemme tell youse, I got real sick from playing this game. REAL sick.
The first couple of tries 'Drea and I revealed some of the foods, but no matches. We were munching away on cookies, trying to find the golden tickets, when 'Drea finds the first match: a peanut butter cup at 80 calories. Luckily, I love peanut butter cups. Then 'Drea finds the second match: a blueberry muffin at 360 calories. Ugh, muffins. Then she finds the third match: a giant pretzel at 340 calories. My stomach is starting to gurgle. And then she finds the fourth match: a fruit pie at 480 calories. I'm turning white and starting to sweat.
Then 'Drea finds half of the golden ticket! Am I screwed? NO! She doesn't find the other half! I get in there, matching a pb and j for 'Drea. Then she matches a Rice Krispy Treat for me at 90 calories, and then she finds a glazed donut at 160 calories. BOB IS GOING TO KILL ME. Her next match fails, giving me the in. I find the other half of the golden ticket and BAM! I WIN!!!
I only had to eat 2,310 calories and victory was mine! I did a little dance and puked in my mouth, just a little.
I now have control of the fate of the players! HA HA HA HA HA HA! I totally know what I am going to do. I'm not here to make friends- I am here to get to the end of the game and win that cool quarter of a mill. For the first time in my life it's all about the Mike.
I sat with you diary, and wrote out all the pros and cons of who was going to be on each team. Then it was time to meet back up with Ali (looking hot!) and reveal my decision.
Sam: Black team
Koli: Blue team
YEAH! Call me lazy and you get your team split up! I told them I thought they would work harder if they were on two different teams and I could tell that Koli was SO PISSED. Hee hee.
Cheryl: Black team
Daris: Blue team
I realized after I separated them that I split up a mother and son and that pained me, but oh well.
'Drea: Black team (even though she wanted to be with Bob)
Lance: Blue team ('cause he's my buddy)
Stephanie: Black team
Miggy: Blue team (my best friend- holler!)
Sherry: Black team
Sunshine: Blue team
Ashley: Black team
And lastly, I gave immunity to O'Neal 'cause he is totally old and I took the last blue shirt. I am on the totally rockinest team EVER! We gots all the fatties over here, and all the little women on that side with Sam! And that's what happens when you mess with the Mike.
Then Bob and Jillian came in and Jillian LOSES HER MIND. She tells me that this is the most unfair scenario possible and I say I didn't make the game! Right, Bob? You told me to look out for myself! And Bob makes a face like, "Did I say that? I said that, didn't I?" and I am like duh! And then it is time to work out. I know Jillian is mad at me, but she is so hot when she is mad.
During the workout, Bob starts calling me cookie because of all the cookies I ate. Bob. What a card.
That night at dinner, no one would sit next to me. I sat there drinking my tea and listening to everyone whispering about what a jerk I am. At least Miggy sat with me, and we discussed a little strategy. I told her, I says "You don't put up a good weight, you're going. You're of no use to me!" and Miggy looked a little pissed. Actually, I couldn't tell, she always looks pissed.
The next day it is time for the first blue vs. black challenge! Ali tells us we will be pulling these huge banners up the side of a building and if we win we get letters from home! I knew we were going to win with all the super strong guys we have on our team. We grunted, we groaned, we screamed, and we sweated.
AND WE WON! Oh, it is so awesome being on a winning team! Nothing can stop us! I read a letter from my best friend Francesca who put in a picture of me when I was my thinnest at 301 pounds- the good old days. I was an Italian stallion. I heard the black team crying about losing, and Sam says, "If we want letters we can work for the post office." What a chump.
The last chance workout was super hard because the black team was really giving it their all. There is no way they are going to win, though. Right?
So, the weigh in. I was nervous and I was totally about to pee my pants.
O'Neal: From 325 lbs to 316 lbs- 9 lbs lost
Me: From 432 lbs to 417 lbs- 15 lbs lost WOO! I beat Rudy and lost over 100 pounds!!!!
Sunshine: From 239 lbs to 232 lbs- 7 lbs lost
Lance: From 305 lbs to 300 lbs- 5 lbs lost
Miggy: From 199 lbs to 195 lbs- 4 lbs lost
Daris: From 274 lbs to 267 lbs- 7 lbs lost
Koli: From 326 lbs to 316 lbs- 10 lbs lost
Blue team lost 48 lbs total and 2.70% body fat
Then it was time for the Black team to weigh in. They need to lose more than 39 lbs to beat us, and at first I am pretty confident, but those little numbers add up. . .
It wasn't supposed to be us- it shouldn't have been us! But it was. And we had to get rid of the weakest person, and that was Miggy. I wanted it to be Lance 'cause honestly? He freaks me out a little bit. And Miggy could knife me. But I said goodbye to my best friend and mom replacement.
So, right now I am the most unpopular guy on campus. Everyone is mad at me. I think I'm going to try to find those cookies. . .
Monday, March 8, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
The BF's birthday was amazing, although I did indulge a little too much in the drinky cupcakey birthday things. I took the day off from working out so I could have a full day of merriment, but when it was back to the grind on Thursday I felt bloaty and sluggish. UGH! You truly are what you eat. I was 1/2 a Crumbs bakery cupcake, a cheeseburger, 2 bottles of beer, and some red wine. I sweated it out, even though I didn't really feel like my usual bad ass self.
Tomorrow is the end of my second month third week of Insanity, and next week is the final week! The process has been amazing, and should anyone want to know if Insanity is right for them please ask me. I have been working it out for almost two months and I can answer any insane question you can throw at me!
PLUG: If you have boobs of any shape or size you must get thee to Intimacy, a fancy bra fitting store that only wants the best for your breasts. I found out about it from my fairy godfather Tim Gunn on his show Tim Gunn's Guide to Style where he preached that your undergarments are the foundation of any outfit. I am a chesty lass, and needed new bras to replace the stretched out ones I have been pretending are suitable. AND I wanted a really respectable sports bra.
Intimacy holistically measures you: no measuring tape. The bra fit specialist (mine was Molly at the 62nd and Lexington location) literally can size you up just by looking at you. Then she brought in a lot of bras to try on- so many options and so pretty! I found out that I was not a 38 D like I had always thought, but a 34 DDD. Cup size and band size are completely individual to everyone. I love the ones I purchased and feel like it is something that every women should do. A great fitting bra is really important to a workout, and the difference is incredible.
Plus I look about 10 pounds lighter. And my boobs are back where they should be.
Stay tuned for my end of the week fit test results, new pics, and my blogs on Celebrity Fit Club and The Biggest Loser!!! And a big thank you to my readers and friends for the positive comments and cheering on through this challenge. YOU ALL ROCK!!!!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Today was day 51 of my Insanity challenge- that is week 3 of month 2, or 51 days out of 63 days. I can't believe it is almost over! The great part of owning the Dvds? I can go back in a couple of months and be insane all over again. Feel the burn.
I completed the fourth Fit Test yesterday and here are the results:
Switch Kicks: Day 1- 120 Day 15- 118 Day 36- 148 Day 50- 135
Power Jacks: Day 1- 56 Day 15- 53 Day 36- 62 Day 50- 69
Power Knees: Day 1- 102 Day 15- 110 Day 36- 114 Day 50- 123
Power Jumps: Day 1- 35 Day 15- 32 Day 36- 40 Day 50- 42
Globe Jumps: Day 1- 10 Day 15- 11 Day 36- 13 Day 50- 13
Suicide Jumps: Day 1- 18 Day 15- 19 Day 36- 22 Day 50- 22
Push-Up Jacks: Day 1- 30 Day 15- 34 Day 36- 45 Day 50- 55
Low Plank Oblique: Day 1- 55 Day 15- 74 Day 36- 78 Day 50- 80
I am growing in leaps and bounds! On the exercises where I stayed the same, I honestly don't know how I can complete any more in the time allotted (I only have one minute). I am amazed by my verifiable progress!
On the measurements front, I am down 2.5 pounds from 2/8/10, down one inch on my waist (30 inches!), 1/2 an inch on my hips (33.5 inches!), 1 1/2 inches off my chest (33.5 inches!) and my legs and arms have stayed the same.
33.5, 30, 33.5? Only if she's 5'4"! (Thanks Sir Mix-a-lot!)
And here are the pics, lovingly spliced together by my BF. They were taken on the first day, mid way through, and yesterday.
I can see more of my belly button! I feel like I am losing the hippiness and toning up all over- my legs and arms look hot! And yes, that is my dog Magenta sitting in the same place both times. She wanted to see her results too, apparently.
I wonder how much more I will change by day 63? I'll keep you posted. . .
Monday, March 1, 2010
How did we get there?
To retrace our steps, we begin at the end of week 5, where brown team John has just been eliminated and Koli is un-KOLI-solable. Ali announces to the Losers that they will be taking a little trek to the United States Olympic Training Center in Colorado for one whole week! Everyone is loaded into a space ship, shot into orbit, and brought down into Colorado, or at least that is how NBC showed it. Maybe they took airplanes, I don't know. Or Jillian flew them on her invisible jet.
The Losers arrive at the center, decked out in team colored winter gear (they actually found a knit cap to fit around Daris' fro!) where they are greeted by Ali and the instructions for the weekly game: Everyone will compete as individuals, there will be a red line that if fallen below means immediate elimination, and a yellow line that two contestants will fall below and one will be eliminated. Melissa points out to us that being split from Lance is different for them than ALL the other contestants because they are married. I guess when they took their vows it also included if they ever were ever to be on a televised weight loss reality show.
They are joined by Allison Jones, member of the US Paralympic Team in skiing and cycling. Born with only one leg, her mother raised her to be a competitive athlete and she has won 4 medals. She never let being disabled slow her down. To kick off the week, Allison carries the torch (not the same torch that was used during the games, I noticed in my re-watching) and passes it to other Losers until they reached the Olympic Training Center torch receptacle and they light it up! Not as cool as the big icy looking thing at the opening and closing ceremonies at the actual winter games. . .but symbolic. Mike says, "I never would have guessed I would be [here] with all these athletes!" We never did either, Mike.
The teams check into their rooms and pick up their celebrity swag: Flags autographed by the athletes-in-residence. Lance gives a hearty guffaw as he exclaims, "Being fat got my to the Olympics!" Not quite, Lance. You are staying at the building where people TRAIN for the Olympics. It's like me saying I was ambassador to France because I took a tour of the UN.
The next morning the Losers meet in the Olympiteria to talk with USOTC nutritionists Adam and Laura to discuss the nutritional requirements for an Olympic athlete. The calorie range? Anywhere from 1,600 to 8,000 calories a day. 8,000? What sport does that fuel? And when can I start training for that?
Oddly, there is a dessert carousel in the Olympiteria that we find Stephanie pressing her face against. Bob talks her down with an Extra Sugar Free Gum plug. Because gum may be just as satisfying as eating a piece of cake.
Then it is time for a little drama with Koli and Sam. Koli just can't get over that John is gone, saying, "I can't get John off my mind!" He feels unworthy of still being on the show and wants to run away from his problems just like he always runs away. I feel that there is something else going on upstairs with Koli and he is just saying it's because he is sad about John to get those feelings out. Or they were really tight. We don't see everything that happens in their down time! Koli decides he needs to let his walls down, then run into those walls, and let the aforementioned walls beat him down.
First training! The Losers meet with alpine skier Julia Mancuso and free style skier Speedy "Cutie Pie" Peterson with Bob and Jillian for some old school circuit training. They do the agility ladder, the punching bag, push ups, hula hooping while balanced on a Bosu ball (that looks crazy hard). Jillian tells the athletes, "If they mess up feel free to punish them."
Speedy asks Bob, "Think these guys need a break?" to which Bob replies, "No, they don't get a break. They can rest after the Olympics!"
After the punishment, er. . .workout, Bob takes Koli aside and lights the Olympic fire under his depressed butt. To further illustrate this point, NBC cuts to an image of the lit Olympic flame.
Pop Challenge! Ali greets the Losers with J.R. Celski, Olympic short track speed skater and reason why I don't wear ice skates (he sports a 4-inch scar on his thigh where he gouged himself 2 months before). The challenge emulates speed skating on a slide board. The Losers must skate from side to side, touching the sensors on each side 500 times. The winners will win gold, silver, and bronze prizes for first, second, and third place finishes.
J.R. demonstrates and makes it look easy. When the Losers get on the boards, it is a little more of a challenge. Thanks camera crew for shaking the camera like an earthquake any time someone fell! Way to drive that over weight message home. Melissa and Sam fight for the gold, but Melissa lands on her butt and Sam takes the win! Melissa wins silver, and Sunshine goes for bronze. Ali promises what they have won will be revealed at the challenge, so star swipe to. . .
The Challenge! The Losers meet at the Garden of the Gods state park with Ali and paralympic athlete Kelly Underkofler, who was born with only half an arm. She is a paralympic shooter and competes in the biathlon, a mix of cross country skiing and shooting. Instead of skiing, the Losers will be running, and instead of real rifles they will be using laser guns. Lance snorts, "I gots this in the bag!" claiming his shooting skills puts food on the table, literally. I imagined a roast squirrel or possum.
The game isn't just shooting willy nilly: The Losers have to chose the target of the opponent they want out of the game. When all five of the targets have been shot, they are out. Ali reveals the advantages to the winners of the pop challenge: Sunshine can hit one target now, Melissa can hit two targets now, and Sam can hit three targets now. Sunshine chooses Sam, Melissa chooses Sam, and Sam splits his between Sunshine and Melissa. So now they are all screwed.
The strongest and youngest competitors are out of the game quickly, leaving Darrell and O'Neal to duke it out. You know it is a weird game when those two are the last Losers standing. O'Neal beats Darrell by microseconds, winning immunity for the week.
The Losers are rocketed back into orbit, and land safely in LA and, of course, a 24 Hour Fitness where they are greeted by Bob, Jillian, and Rock Brubaker who is one half of an Olympic pairs figure skating team. Rock leads the Losers in a Bootcamp class, where Bob encourages Rock to "Beat them up!", and then they finish the rest of the last chance workout.
Touching moment! O'Neal manages to balance on a Bosu ball and squat, getting Sunshine to squeal, "He's squatting! He's squatting!"
Then it is back to the ranch for the weigh in! We are reminded yet again about the ominous red line and the yellow line. For the first time, the Losers are weighing in as individuals.
O'Neal: From 333 lbs to 325 lbs- 8 lbs lost
Mike: From 443 lbs to 432 lbs- 11 lbs lost (not quite the 100 lbs in 6 weeks goal)
Stephanie: From 225 lbs to 221 lbs- 4 lbs lost