Day 44: Insanity Challenge- Month 2

If you had asked me 44 days ago if I would be able to execute some of the exercises that Shaun T has been asking me to do in Insanity I would probably have laughed. I would have had a hearty chuckle, said "Really?" in the fashion that I am accustomed to, and done some 30 Day Shred.

Because 44 days ago I thought Jillian Michaels was the toughest trainer out there. Apparently there are many trainers that wear that moniker!

This pushing of my body, this intensity that I am working out at, this willingness to say "Yes!" and not "Really?" has opened up my eyes and I am having some major epiphanies.

Back in the old days, in my single lady days, I used to go to all sorts of classes and I would run and boot camp and pole dance- I would get totally inspired and motivated by fitness because it was a great distractor and occupier of time. When I was single, I would get super fit.

Then I meet someone, get cozy, and I gain some weight. Not a lot, but enough where I was like, "Huh?", and ponder why I wasn't where I used to be.

With moving in with my boyfriend this past June, I realized I had adopted that same mentality. I didn't want to work out in front of him because what if he thought I looked silly? Or he found out that I sweat? I quickly got over that because I like working out and had to get over this sudden shyness. I started working out again, I started this blog, I started the studying for my ACE certification, I started my Twitter account. I met all my blog friends and forum friends; People that encouraged me to get accountable. I felt I needed to push myself to be an example for those folks, to show them what was possible.

Through the Celebrate Weight Loss challenges, I started to push the limits to what I thought that I could do. Then I started watching all the infomercials for Insanity and I thought maybe that was the challenge that I needed to get the scale moving.

And I was right. The intenSati Warrior Challenge got me into the positive frame of mind to do this hard work, and Shaun T keeps telling me to dig deeper and really push myself beyond the boundaries that I have set for myself.

That is when the light bulb went off. I didn't lose weight because I was single! I lost weight because I pushed myself harder than I used to. When I pushed myself, I got the results that I wanted. Now I am seeing the results that I want in the mirror. My body feels strong, graceful, and powerful. I now know that this is the level that I need to be working out at, and I have already started to plan my workout regime for after the Insanity plan is over based on the structure of these workouts.

With careful planning and renewed dedication, I know that I can keep it up and not back track. I have even found a couple of bikinis- BIKINIS!- that I want to purchase and really wear in public. I am onto week 2 of the second month! Exhausted, but insane.