Friday, July 23, 2010

Speed Bump

I don't usually talk about my personal life on my blog. Why would anyone want to read about my daily life when I can write about funny things or encouraging things or things that make you as a reader feel good so that you can carry on, spreading your seed of happiness to everyone you meet.

That's what I like about writing this blog. It is my way of trying to pay it forward and help people. Currently, I work at a job where I don't really help anyone. If you had fun eating at my restaurant and I was a part of that fun then great! But you came there for the food, not me.

The idea of becoming a personal trainer seems to me to be the perfect mix of helping others, helping myself, and the creativity that I don't get in my day to day life as a non working actor. I knew when I was embarking on getting my ACE certification that it was going to lead me down an entirely new path that is both exciting and frightening: Exciting because I am living my dreams and frightening because it is all so new to me. I don't like being bad at things, as I am sure most people don't. That is why we stop. Getting myself in the right head space to embark on a whole new career from the waitress/actress path that I have been living for the past 15 years is challenging.

Today I received the news that I didn't get a job I was seeking in the fitness field. I lost out to another candidate. Rejection is always hard, especially if you don't know what is wrong. I allowed myself to wallow in it for a while, got in a good cry, and now I am sitting here in the aftermath trying to figure out how to pull myself up by the bootstraps.

How do I dust myself off and start the whole process over again? It boggles the mind. I offer words of encouragement all the time to friends, family, fellow bloggers and tweeters, but can I follow that advice myself? It is hard not to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head and let the day pass. But it is only 3:30 in the afternoon. Incredibly unproductive and certainly not like myself.

I pride myself in always trying my hardest and putting my best foot forward in every situation. I didn't realize how challenging this whole process was going to be because I have never attempted it before. There was a voice in my brain today that tld me it would just be easier to stop, or who do I think I am trying to do something new? I remembered that voice when I was thinking of losing weight, when I was moving to New York, when I went to college. It is the voice of fear.

I don't live in fear.

So, I will take my own advice. I won't give up. I know that the universe has great plans for me that I am just waiting to discover. I am a worthwhile person. I am not a loser. I know I can accomplish great things.

Tomorrow is another day.

Everyone deserves to feel better- take a moment out of your day to tell yourself that you are great. We are all winners! Make some lemonade out of those lemons. And then pay it forward.

I feel better already.

1 comment:

  1. I would worry about you if you weren't at least a little upset. You've been working on this career change for a long time. took the requisite few hours to mope. Chin up, chest out time! You'll have your perfect fitness job soon. And then this speed bump will look really small in the rear view mirror. :0)