I don't usually talk about my personal life on my blog. Why would anyone want to read about my daily life when I can write about funny things or encouraging things or things that make you as a reader feel good so that you can carry on, spreading your seed of happiness to everyone you meet.
That's what I like about writing this blog. It is my way of trying to pay it forward and help people. Currently, I work at a job where I don't really help anyone. If you had fun eating at my restaurant and I was a part of that fun then great! But you came there for the food, not me.
The idea of becoming a personal trainer seems to me to be the perfect mix of helping others, helping myself, and the creativity that I don't get in my day to day life as a non working actor. I knew when I was embarking on getting my ACE certification that it was going to lead me down an entirely new path that is both exciting and frightening: Exciting because I am living my dreams and frightening because it is all so new to me. I don't like being bad at things, as I am sure most people don't. That is why we stop. Getting myself in the right head space to embark on a whole new career from the waitress/actress path that I have been living for the past 15 years is challenging.
Today I received the news that I didn't get a job I was seeking in the fitness field. I lost out to another candidate. Rejection is always hard, especially if you don't know what is wrong. I allowed myself to wallow in it for a while, got in a good cry, and now I am sitting here in the aftermath trying to figure out how to pull myself up by the bootstraps.
How do I dust myself off and start the whole process over again? It boggles the mind. I offer words of encouragement all the time to friends, family, fellow bloggers and tweeters, but can I follow that advice myself? It is hard not to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head and let the day pass. But it is only 3:30 in the afternoon. Incredibly unproductive and certainly not like myself.
I pride myself in always trying my hardest and putting my best foot forward in every situation. I didn't realize how challenging this whole process was going to be because I have never attempted it before. There was a voice in my brain today that tld me it would just be easier to stop, or who do I think I am trying to do something new? I remembered that voice when I was thinking of losing weight, when I was moving to New York, when I went to college. It is the voice of fear.
I don't live in fear.
So, I will take my own advice. I won't give up. I know that the universe has great plans for me that I am just waiting to discover. I am a worthwhile person. I am not a loser. I know I can accomplish great things.
Tomorrow is another day.
Everyone deserves to feel better- take a moment out of your day to tell yourself that you are great. We are all winners! Make some lemonade out of those lemons. And then pay it forward.
I feel better already.