Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Biggest Loser- week 5- Trazy and the Chocolate Factory

Maybe the good folks at NBC knew that this episode was going to be airing on the 13th. Add to that that it is the month of October, and it is extra SPOOKY. This weeks episode of The Biggest Loser was exactly that, and all because of our favorite little crazy person: Trazy. This episode was so chock full of action packed Trazy goodness that I actually over tweeted my Twitter with my live tweet buddies.

If NBC has a reality show based on this problem, please tweet me. The Biggest Tweeter!

Back to the show: the episode starts with the lovely Ali and a whole bunch of covered silver platters- TEMPTATION TIME! Within the first minute! This temptation looked like a good one- all the goodness of The Biggest Loser combined with Wheel of Fortune and Ace of Cakes. And cakes and cupcakes abounded.

The rules of this weeks temptation were simple- spin the wheel for the chance to win cash prizes or the opportunity to control the game. How? It is Blue versus Black time, and if your platter revealed the GOLDEN TICKET, you would get to choose who got on what team. And who they would train with. But not all platters held treasures. Most were like a trip to Willy Wonka's factory: huge slices of icing heavy cakes, donuts, and cupcakes. And if you landed on that tray, you eat it. All of it.

Who competed in this gruesome turn of the wheel? Everyone EXCEPT Abby Phelps, who I felt chose wisely. If she can't take a regular beating in the gym from Bob and Jillian, she needs every calorie advantage she can get. Sizzle, Abby, sizzle.

First up to spin was Rudy- and he landed on a huge slice of cake. We had to watch him stuff it into his face. I wonder what embarrassment tastes like? Then Rebecca spins and gets a chocolate donut- a more modest punishment. Third at bat was Alan and he "wins" a teeny chocolate cupcake.

So far, everyone is sucking. Yes, it is a game of chance, but won't anyone be lucky?

Danny spins next, and he lands on the seriously BIGGEST cupcake I have ever seen. It was like the size of a baby's head. A sweet, icing and sprinkle covered baby head.

Then it was Trazy's turn. Using her powers of magic, she beckons the wheel to do her bidding (my friend Lori at tweeted it was like the wheel was her Ouija board) and the silver cover is lifted to reveal one GOLDEN TICKET. Trazy's grandfather leaps out of bed, they sing and dance, and then realize that tomorrow is when the factory will be opened to visitors for the first time since Slugworth stole Wonka's secret ingredient!

OR now Trazy can decide the fate of the game. Just like all those other times.

I like my version better.

The people behind Trazy breathe a collective sigh of relief (Yay! No cupcakes!) and then a gasp of horror (Oh, crap.) as Trazy sits in her garden and evil laughs over the fate of her fellow players. I like that she had a little journal listing all her pros and cons:

Coach Mo
Pros: He visited me in the hospital!
Cons: Doesn't believe in my powers!
We see the other team members burning calories by freaking out- especially Blue Team member Dina who doesn't want to lose Rudy and is having a hard time grasping the concept of doing it for yourself, and the burgeoning romance of Brown Team's Country Liz and Danny, who never were a pair of more star crossed lovers. Okay, not really. But I think the lady doth protest too much to be separated from her partner.
The contestants and trainers reassemble to hear their fates. Everyone is on pins and needles as Trazy starts talking about choosing from her heart- as far we all know, she doesn't have one! Just a small, black lump of coal. I realized I was holding my breath as each selection was made.
She chose the Blue Team for herself with trainer Bob. And he was like, "Girrrl. For real?" I have a pretty good Gay-dar, and I know when one doesn't like you. And Trazy? Bob doesn't like you. But, she has the GOLDEN TICKET, and Bob must fall under her spell. Her other team mates are Coach Mo, Rudy, Alan, Rebecca, and COUNTRY LIZ. That means she and Danny are splits ville, as well as Dina and Rudy. Country Liz and Dina join their new Black Teammates Dan, Danny (thanks for making this whole blogging thing so much easier, Trazy. 2 Dan's on one team?), Amanda (who had to break up with Bob), and Shay.
There is a lot of hand wringing and crying over wearing new t-shirts and people inadvertently hurting Jillian's feelings by swearing their allegiance to Bob. I was worried that this might start shaping up to be like last season with those Samoan boys who boycotted Jillian. AND WHAT'S SO WRONG WITH JILLIAN? She is my hero. And she produces The Biggest WINNERS. No offense, Bob. You are my hero, too.
Now we enter into the gym to workout, the real reason we are all here despite some pretty heavy game play. Jillian makes Amanda puke up her apples, Dina tries over and over and over (and over) to jump up onto a stool, and Country Liz passes out mid Danny glance. She was just so angry at Trazy she forgot to breathe. She informs Bob that Southern women don't get angry, they get even. And a lot of other threats. I'm starting to think that Country Liz might have the guts to actually get rid of Trazy. Or at least put a horse head in her bed.
After a Jennie-O sponsored picnic, the new teams get ready for the physical challenge. This weeks challenge looked so hard, I swear I take back what I said last week about the challenge looking easy. These are large ladies and gents. Southern California is warm in the summer time. I wouldn't want to carry a box with a contestant on top of it for any length of trail. During the Cleopatra Challenge (what? No Shakespeare for this section? No time for cutting and pasting, my friends.), 4 contestants must carry one of their teammates through mud and hills to the finish line. No lives were lost, but Amanda's shoe will be sorely missed. The Blue Team makes it to the finish line to win their prize of videos from home.
Rebecca offers Dina her home movie (I don't know why Dina wants to see Rebecca's sister singing an off tune ditty, but to each their own) but Dina refuses, telling the at home audience that she needs to do this herself. That and jump on the stool.
Movie night at the ranch is a montage of home movies and tears. Country Liz propositions Danny (so I thought) but actually gave up her home movie so that he could see his family. It warmed my heart cockles. What didn't warm them was Trazy's home furnishings. I think she lives in Sarah Palin's house. That is the only explanation for that awful Longhorn covered leather side chair and Marlboro man artwork.
Then the last chance workout! Bob takes his team to 24-Hour Fitness for circuit training and judging of Trazy on the treadmill, while Jillian makes her teammates push each other around and makes Dina jump on that stool again. Still, no cigar. I am so worried about the fronts of her shins!
The final weigh in was a nail biter! If the Blue Team wins, Trazy stays for another week. If the Black Team wins, Trazy stays for another week?
What? The Blue Team was at the bottom, and somehow, Coach Mo convinces everyone to keep Trazy and send him packing.
Now we are stuck. If she wins, Mo, I swear! He looks fine at his reveal, but the sore feelings emanating from all of America kind-of diminished any accomplishments he made.
FOSTER FITNESS EXCLUSIVE!: While tweeting during the episode, I stated my displeasure that Dina never made it on that stool. THE Jillian Michaels ( @jillianmichaels for all you in Twitterland) tweeted me PERSONALLY to tell me that Dina did in fact make it. DAMN EDITORS. So congrats, Dina. And it is the real Jillian, not like the fake Shay/real Shay debacle plaguing us on Twitter the last few weeks. And this is why I love Jillian. No offense, Bob.
See you all next week back at the ranch!

1 comment:

  1. You ARE the Biggest Tweeter!!! I'm still completely impressed by how fast you saved my butt with the correct spelling of "Ouija." Plus, you got a personal communique from Miss Jill herself! Let us know when you get the call from NBC to be the first cast member. :0)