Monday, March 15, 2010

Celebrity Fit Club Boot Camp- week 5- The Art of War

The title seems more apt for last week's episode. . .how much more drama could there be this week?

The "celebrities" are greeted by Harvey, who tells them they are half way through boot camp. Taneesha utters a sigh of relief, saying she is "50 percent there! Let's get it over with!", which of course brings up that ever burning question in my mind- are these people for real? Are they here for their careers only or do they really want to get healthy?

Harvey asks the "celebrities" if they have ever read "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu: a handbook of warrior training that helps one to identify others weaknesses for the purposes of exploiting them. Each "celebrity" receives there own copy then go off to change and meet together to plan their attack strategy.

"Those who confront the ill-prepared with preparation will stand victorious."- Sun Tzu

At the blue team meeting, Sebastian suggests taking advantage of Bobby's weakness by giving him a bottle of Grey Goose. At the red team meeting, Jay asks Bobby to wake up because he keeps falling asleep. "It's only 42 hours a week. Wake the f**k up!" begs Jay.

"In war you must avoid what is strong and strike at what is weak."- Sun Tzu

The teams gather for an American Gladiator style challenge: a bridge over a shallow swimming pool where the teams will fight each other with puggle sticks and capture the flag. Taneesha immediately panics because of the water, saying "This is like the Titanic all over again!"

Its guys versus guys and girls versus girls! Round one- the ladies. Nicole is knocked in the water immediately, but Shar is a "brick house" according to Kaycee, and knocks Taneesha and Kaycee in the water to capture the first flag. Taneesha freaks out when she falls in the water, screaming "Help! Help!" Sebastian points out that the pool is only three feet deep. "If you stand up, you're not in the water," he laughs.

Round two- Jay is knocked in right away, but Bobby manages to get around Sebastian and Kevin to get the second flag. Round three- Taneesha gets knocked in the water right away, but Kaycee manages to get through Nicole and "the monster" Shar to capture the first flag for the blue team. Round four- Jay is angry and goes after Kevin, but gets knocked into the pool, then Bobby gets knocked in and Kevin grabs the second flag for the blue team. The teams are tied two to two.

Round five is down to the women. Kaycee and Shar are immediately in the water, and it is down to Taneesha and Nicole. "There is no way that Nicole is going to push me in the water," Taneesha says. Nicole goes in for the kill, and Taneesha says, "Yo son, why you grabbing me?" Nicole and Taneesha wrestle to the ground, and Nicole gives up when it gets "a little to street for my liking" and Taneesha grabs the last flag. BLUE TEAM WINS!

At the dead weight vote, Bobby, Nicole, and Shar all vote for Jay. But during the challenge, Jay messed up his back, and needs someone to help him complete the task. He asks for Bobby's help, and Bobby is PISSED. "It's some bulls**t," he whines.

"If the ranks are uneasy, it means the General's authority is in question."
- Sun Tzu

The dead weight task is to scrub the tents clean from last week's challenge. The medic doesn't want Jay to do it, so he helps the little he can, but Bobby is having to do the bulk of the work. And he won't talk to Jay. The red team is starting to disintegrate and Jay doesn't know what to do about it. After the dead weight he talks to Kaycee about how she has pulled her team together, and apparently the fight that the blue team had last week brought them closer together. Jay is "trying to lead by example, but is ignored".

"To be victorious, you must know when to fight and when not to fight."- Sun Tzu

It's day 30, and for the PT challenge Harvey has brought in a former NFL player turned coach to lead the teams in some football drills. The coach tells the teams that when he yells "What time is it?" the teams need to reply "Game time!"

So he yells, "WHAT TIME IS IT?" The teams respond, "GAME TIME!" and Bobby clutches his butt. I can't tell if he farted or pooped his pants. "Sometimes, s**t happens," he offers. He scoots off the field, presumably to change.

The teams are led through some punishing looking football drills, and when Harvey makes comment to Taneesha about her using her "big ass thunder thighs" to bear crawl across the field, she quits and they get into an altercation. Sebastian states, "I saw this last week." After she huffs and puffs, the coach gets Taneesha to try again and she manages to complete the exercise.

Then it's Life Coach Rhonda time! Today's lesson builds on "The Art of War".

"Anger may in time change to gladness; annoyance may be succeeded by content."- Sun Tzu

Rhonda says anger is often unresolved pain. It is important to express your anger and then to let it go. Each person is to state the number one thing that upsets them, write it on a t-shirt or a pillow case, and then beat up a dummy wearing the shirt or rip up the pillow case.

Jay confronts his high school bully. Sebastian talks about how is father left his family for a student he was teaching. Taneesha was involved in fight clubs when she was 5 years old. Nicole is angry at her step mom for bringing up unresolved issues after her father passed away and there was no way to resolve them.

Kevin? Kevin is mad at the people who cut him off on the freeway and don't use their turn
signal. REALLY? Really.

Shar loathes betrayal, and everyone knows she is probably referencing Kevin but she doesn't say Kevin.

It is an emotional meeting for some, and on that note they leave for the fifth week weigh in.

Kevin: Last week: 218 lbs Today: 215 lbs Goal: 3 lbs Total Loss: 3 lbs Next week's goal: 3 lbs

Jay: Last week: 240 lbs Today: 238 lbs Goal: 4 lbs Total Loss: 2 lbs Next week's goal: 4 lbs

Bobby: Last week: 192 lbs Today: 191 lbs Goal: 4 lbs Total Loss: 1 lb Next week's goal: 4 lbs

Kaycee: Last week: 185 lbs Today: 184 lbs Goal: 3 lbs Total Loss: 1 lb Next week's goal: 3 lbs

Shar: Last week: 140 lbs Today: 137 lbs Goal: 3 lbs Total Loss: 3 lbs Next week's goal: 3 lbs

Taneesha: Last week: 229 lbs Today: 229 lbs Goal: 4 lbs Total Loss: 0 Next week's goal: 4 lbs

Sebastian: Last week: 214 lbs Today: 229 lbs Goal: 4 lbs Total Loss: 3 lbs Next week's goal: 4 lbs

Nicole: Last week: 124 lbs Today: 124 lbs Goal: 3 lbs Total Loss: 0 Next week's goal: 3 lbs

It's an emotional weigh in: Big results for Kevin, Shar, and Sebastian, and no weight loss for Taneesha and Nicole. The number one culprit? Alcohol. Apparently no one can say no! And VH1 can't not offer wine at a weight loss boot camp.

The red team is still in the lead, but Kevin from the blue team is the individual leader so far. At the half way mark, some people are succeeding and others are just coasting along. Let's see what next week will hold!

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