Thursday, December 3, 2009

The Biggest Loser- week 12- The Final Countdown

So. Allen is gone. There are four contestants left: Country Liz, Lumberjack Rudy, Superman Danny, and Angry Amanda.

The show started with a montage of before and after shots, and I am always amazed at how far everyone has gone with their transformations. Rudy and Danny together have lost another adult person who could compete on The Biggest Loser. Liz has gone from a tired, overweight country housewife to a thinner tired country housewife. Amanda's body continues to match her face (she is one of those skinny faces).

We then cut to the elimination room where Ali announces the contestants will be leaving the ranch (again) for 60 days and then they will return to the ranch for another weigh in. The contestants must get out into the world and prove that they can take all that they learned with them and apply it.

Danny heads back to Oklahoma, Rudy heads back to Connecticut, Liz to Tennessee (I'm surprised the limo could make it over those country roads), and Amanda to New Jersey. Family and friends abound, and there are many tears shed- this is the BL after all. True to form, Rudy's party is in a lob cabin, and Danny's party is in one of the many chain restaurants that my home state has to offer.

Then it is time for the nitty gritty. Will the contestants be able to get their acts together in the sixty days?

Danny goes on a trip (literally) down memory lane and reveals even more stock footage of him as a "rock star". Amanda tells us again how much she hates being the fat friend, and she is scared to be home and of the temptations she faces. Her best gay Brian goes to the gym with her and offers her support and extra liner. Rudy gets some psychotherapy from his wife (and sister lookalike) about eating all of his feelings. Clearly she has her act together as she just had a baby and looks GREAT. Liz turns into Vicki Gumble from "The Real Housewives of OC" and throws her Dr. Phil-esque husband under the bus with threats of divorce. WHOA. This show is getting real. Poor Jimmy. I don't think he is getting much of a second chance.

Each of the contestants get a video package delivered on their doorstep. It is Bob and Jillian speaking personally to each of them. We get to see them fat (again) and how far they have come. There is more crying. We see Rudy has an 8 inch television. He spends more time splitting logs than watching cable, apparently. Bob manages to slip in another Extra sugar free gum plug in with Amanda's video. The perfect time to pitch a product is when you are having a private moment. Really, NBC?

Then everyone gets THE CALL: all four will be competing in a marathon. A real, honest to God, 26.2 mile marathon. Everyone seems surprised, but if they have watched the show they should know what's up. Except Rudy, because he clearly can't be watching TV on that tiny cube.

Curtis Stone descends on Broken Arrow to visit Danny and his family for some cooking lessons. Curtis Stone in OKLAHOMA? He probably had a heart attack at the amount of fast food restaurants on every corner. He offers some healthful hints on dressing a baked potato- with turkey chili. I recreated this dish and it was both filling and sustaining through a 6 hour shift at work.

Bob and Jillian then go on a cross country expedition to surprise all the contestants in their hometowns. Bob hides in the bushes like an episode of "To Catch a Predator" to slip some gum into Amanda's pockets. Jillian pulls on her galoshes and helps Liz to slop some pigs.

Every contestant has the fear that their old lifestyle is going to encroach upon their new one and that they will fail. Families are falling apart left and right here. Jillian and Bob try to tag team them and give them some support, and we get a sneak peak of what Jillian's new show is probably going to be like- sitting around the kitchen table with the family and using her mind bullets on everyone. We run, we last chance workout, we prepare for the marathon.

After a Subway sandwich plug party and Fitness Ridge Resort mention, we have an inspirational montage with "Go get it!" music and the contestants checking off the days in marker on giant calendars (This is a commercial opportunity wasted, NBC! Who is sponsoring the markers?), counting down the days they train for the race.

The much thinner and stretched out contestants meet up to talk to Ali about second chances and the marathon- besides the satisfaction of finishing the race, the Biggest Loser Whey Protein will donate $10,000 to a charity of their choice. And the contestants get a protein shake! What a deal.

And they are off! Amanda in her t-shirt dress and Rudy take the lead, with Clark Kent-a-like Danny and Country Liz heading down the back country roads. Liz and Danny talk about their "special" bond with each other. The word marathon is thrown in a lot.

At mile 4 there is a fierce incline, and Rudy has the additional challenge of lugging a huge Brita water bottle. I would have said, "No thanks, NBC. I'll drink later."

Tara from season 7 is hiding in the bushes (what is it with the bushes!?!) and surprises Danny and Liz. They exchange breathy revelations as they jog.

At mile 13 Rudy's old partner Dina (remember, she was the jumper) meets up to run the last half of the marathon with him. No stopping at Chevy's, Dina!

Amanda gets to the mile 13 marker and her best gay Brian is there to help her get through the pain. The pain of being twenty years old. Oy.

Danny and Liz are in the wind swept plains of somewhere far off and distant (I think it's Middle Earth), and Danny starts complaining that he is hurting. Then Amanda starts crying in her neck of the woods. Tara magically appears out of no where to keep her from crying and offers encouragement. I don't remember Tara being much of a cryer. Maybe she should shake Amanda while they run. At mile 17 Amanda starts to walk, cry, and panic at the same time.

Mile 13 for Danny and Liz: they are met with Danny's wife, who gives him a big hug and kiss, and Liz's husband who gets passed and then run back to. Ouch, Liz. Really?

Dina and Rudy hit mile 22 still jogging, and Rudy starts to play mind games with himself.

Mile 15: Danny is still walking. He is in so much pain that he walks, not runs, to the medic station to get some relief.

Mile 22: Amanda is still walking, but Tara forces her to start running and stop being a baby. Her inner voice reaches out and speaks to her and tells her she can do it, and she picks up the pace.

Mile 25: Bob meets Rudy and Dina to run that last mile. They marvel at all they have accomplished in the past 6 months, and Rudy realizes the last mile is the first mile they ran on the first day of the show. And it is on SAND. What a punishment.

Rudy finishes in 5 hours and 12 minutes. Cue Helen and Mike from season 7 and Miley Cyrus music.

Mile 25: Bob meets Amanda and Brian and runs the last mile while resisting urge to talk about gum. Amanda marvels at how far she has come and how long her t-shirt dress has gotten. She finishes at 5 hours and 28 minutes.

Mile 16: Danny has hit the wall. His compression socks are soaked with sweat, he begins to walk, and hobbles over to the medic station for some super icing down. Liz tells him flat out that he doesn't get to quit. And when she says it, you believe her. After a quick orange break, they head back out.

Liz and Danny reverse their roles, and she begins to champion Danny to make sure that he can make it. Quick montage of them as fat partners and now thin partners and their own partners are mysteriously absent.

Mile 25: Jillian runs with Danny and Liz the last mile, and Liz makes her dream come true by becoming a real marathon runner. They run across the goal together, both finishing in 6 hours and 55 minutes.

Each contestant gets $10,000 to donate to their charity. I wonder which charity they will chose? I hope not the Ronald McDonald house. Just kidding.

Then it is time for the FINAL weigh in. The FINAL weigh in BEFORE the FINALE, that is. They haven't weighed in in 60 days. Will they lose enough to keep them above the yellow line and be spared America's vote? We won't know until the live finale, Ali tells us.

Liz weighs in first. She has gone from 267 to 182, losing 16 pounds in 60 days.

Amanda is next. She has gone from 250 to 170, also losing 16 pounds. Since she is used to pleading her case to America, she wonders if she'll have to do it again.

Then Danny heads up. He has gone from 430 pounds to an amazing 220, losing 59 pounds. That is almost one pound a day. As my friend Kris would say, "Holy Snack Packs." He has lost 201 pounds since he started: One of four people that have reached this goal.

Rudy is last, going from 442 to 253 and losing 43 pounds. With his 12 hour work day and cube sized television watching, he managed to make it into the final three.

America now has to choose between Amanda and Liz. I am pretty sure I know who everyone will pick, but I think everyone is a loser by this point. And I mean that in the most complimentary way possible.

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