Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Thintervention with Jackie Warner- episode 6- "Week 6. About time you joined us."

Herr Warner and Frau Craig (zap2it.com)
According to last week's Thintervention, Jeana is moving in with Bryan and Nikki is moving in with Mandy.  "I am moving myself from temptation to oh my God the suburbs," moans Nikki, who orders liposuction right away.  After Nikki marvels at Mandy's full fridge and Bryan grills Jeana about her sweat glands, Bryan states, "Let's get out fat asses to the gym."

Basic training this week is no excuses and balls to the wall.  This week:  Working on the sexy body parts.  Nice butts, nice arms, and nice abs.  Nikki cries.

Everyone is being pushed to their absolute limits.  Mandy is crying, Stacey threatens to puke, Nikki is actually participating.  At the after workout pow wow, Jackie states the importance of being selfish for your own well being.  She also lets the participants know they will be working on finding their own inner sexy this week, complete with a trip down to China Town for some sexy herbs.  HEY THERE SEXY GIRLFRIEND!!!!!

-cue sexy music-

At Mandy's home, Mandy has ordered massages for Nikki and her husband.  Mandy teams up with her hubby's masseuse, prompting him to say, "Every man's dream.  Two Asians."  *shudder*  At Bryan's house, a less sexy air as Bryan opts not to free ball and grills Jeana (again) when she asks him how she comes off to other people.  He tells her she has "an air of superiority" (surprise) and she doesn't get it.  Good night, Miguel.  Good night, John Boy.

The next morning, Bryan wakes up to take Jeana to spin class.  He makes her breakfast, gets her dressed, and makes her sweat for real.  After spin they go to brunch in West Hollywood and meet Robert the waiter.  Is he gay?  Is he straight?  He is an older blond waiter in West Hollywood, but Bryan asks him the definitive gay questions:
1.)  In shoes pink or blue, which would you choose?
2.)  Nascar or gymnastics?

Richard answers blue and Nascar-- he's straight!  Jeana points out "Some gay men have to like Nascar."

Nikki and Mandy go lingerie shopping for Mandy's hot new bod, and then it is time for China Town.  Joe immediately starts acting like a jerk, asking the herb guy for a cure for cankles and then saying Stacey needs it and then interrupting the lady dispensing the medical knowledge.  The herb guy was right on with everyone's assessments, by the way.  Next time I am in LA I need to check him out!

At the extreme workout, the participants meet Jackie at a theatre with Robin Antin, creator of the Pussy Cat Dolls for a sexy burlesque dance workout that can burn up to 500 calories an hour.  Craig works it out with a grand jete, showing he was the Rum Tum Tugger at the Pasadena Play House in his pretrainer days.  Everyone is popping, locking, and grinding.  "It is 1,000% a girls dance.  I love it!" squeals Bryan.

There is a dance off at the end between Shay, Stacey, and Bryan which was seriously hilarious (Bryan in his hot pink satin mini bolero jacket steals the show) and Stacey is declared the big winner.  I burned many calories laughing.

After the workout, Joe and his homies go out to Chez Douche Bag in Hollywood to pick up some hot ladies to get laid.  OKAY- Joe is super repulsive.  He is so conceited and abrasive and jerky, it is a wonder that he can get ANY tail at all.  If any single lady in LA watches Bravo (which is a no brainer) than Joe is not shoring up any sleeping partners for the immediate future.  Jackie goes to check up on him and tries to offer him lady tips--she is Jackie Warner, power lesbian-- and Joe manages to turn off an entire group of girls with his insensitive questions and Spanish skills.  His response?  "It is what it is."  Wee woo.

At therapy, everyone talks about sex or their lack of it.  It's nice to know that Stacey and Joe find themselves attractive enough to themselves to masturbate.  It's also crazy to learn that Mandy's husband rewards her with gifts when she has an orgasm.

Jackie calls Joe out for acting insensitive in China Town and for being a jerk at Chez Douche Bag, and Joe says, "I didn't come out to make seven friends."

Fail, Joe.

Time for the weigh in!

Bryan:  From 240 lbs to 234 lbs- 6 lbs lost

Jeana:   From 167 lbs to 162 lbs- 5 lbs lost

Joe:  From 213 lbs to 211 lbs- 2 lbs lost

Stacey:  From 211 lbs to 206 lbs- 5 lbs lost

Shay:  From 191 lbs to 184 lbs- 7 lbs lost

Mandy:  From 148 lbs to 145 lbs- 3 lbs lost

Nikki:  From 212 lbs to 205 lbs- 7 lbs lost

Jackie points out it took Nikki five weeks to lose eleven pounds and only one week to lose seven- the experiment worked!!!

Next week:  The vacation from hell for all participants.  Fried foods that you can't eat and rowing galore!


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