Tuesday, April 13, 2010

BL9- week 12- The Box

Melissa keeps saying that no one on the ranch is into game play, but that is not true. The producers of The Biggest Loser find new and exciting ways to get the Losers to play the game every week: It's up to the contestants to chose to play it our not. But the producers WANT them to play real bad.
Ali meets the Losers in the gym in front of a Staples Easy Button where she states, "Nothing comes easy." If a contestant chooses to push the button, someone they don't know will die, they will receive a brief case filled with $1,000,000, the button will be retrieved, reset, and given to someone else that doesn't know them.
Or that's the plot to the movie "The Box", which I also watched this week.
The BL9 button, when pushed, emits an ear piercing tornado siren, lights start flashing, and the walls of the gym peel back to reveal a scale. The player that chooses to weigh themselves after pushing the button must lose 2% of their body fat to win immunity. You need to be sure, because you only get one shot to push that button. Fall below the 2% and wah-wah. You suck.
Bob and Jillian arrive, the Losers tell them the complicated rules to the game, everyone pretends to know what's going on, and they work out. Jillian focuses on the yellow and glowing Sunshine who can do no wrong, while Bob descends into the red team's hell to focus on Melissa. Bob gives Melissa many platitudes about not playing the game, but the words seem to go in one ear and out the other. Melissa is out for blood.
Dr. H and his mullet stop by for a visit, telling the Losers that they need to lose the weight safely or there could be serious consequences. So, no over exercising in sweat suits after midnight, right?
Cut to Koli and Sam working out in the gym alone wearing heavy sweatsuits.
On Day 2, new girl Vicky decides she has reached her 6 pound target, and hits the button causing Melissa to exclaim, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU HAVEN'T BEEN HERE LONG ENOUGH!" Plus, Melissa wanted to hit the button first. Vicky only loses 3 pounds. Wah-wah.
Day 3 is the challenge, and we're going pool side! There are 1,000 1 pound weights in the bottom of the pool in corresponding team colors. Each person has 100 weights they are responsible for retrieving, 2 weights at a time. Once they have gotten all of their colors they can move on and help another team member if they like. Melissa must have had a sinking feeling right then.
Sunshine is the front runner, winning a 2 week trip for 2 to the Biggest Loser Resort. What everyone wants after they have been to the actual ranch and have already lost the weight. All the contestants pitched in after they retrieved all their weights and got Mike to beat Melissa. Melissa won a 1-pound disadvantage at the weigh in.
Button, button. Who'll push the button? Will it be Melissa? Or will it be Sam and Koli?
After a montage of hidden camera footage and late night workouts, Sam finally pushes it. When he weighs in, not only did he hit his goal of 6 pounds but exceeds it, losing 10 pounds and 3.82% of his body weight. Sam is immune!
"Argh. It should've been me," fumed Melissa. Now she has no immunity, no friends, and a one pound disadvantage. She played the game and it bit her on the ass, to paraphrase Bob.
At the last chance workout, Jillian takes Sunshine aside and tells her to break up with her dad. Sunshine meets with O'Neal and tells him that it's not him, it's her.
And so, the WEIGH IN. Sam has already been accounted for, so. . .
Koli: From 281 lbs to 276 lbs- 5 lbs lost
Daris: From 237 lbs to 233 lbs- 4 lbs lost
Mike: From 381 lbs to 372 lbs- 9 lbs lost
Ashley: From 271 lbs to 264 lbs- 7 lbs lost
Sunshine: From 202 lbs to 195 lbs- 7 lbs lost
O'Neal: From 291 lbs to 283 lbs- 8 lbs lost
Vicky: From 283 lbs to 272 lbs- 11 lbs lost
Drea: From 227 lbs to 225 lbs- 2 lbs lost
Melissa: From 178 lbs to 175 lbs- 3 lbs lost + 1 lb disadvantage
Drea and Melissa are below the yellow line. In a surprising turn of events we discover that Melissa is a LAWYER and she comes to plead her case in the Loser's Court. "I'm your fairy godmother," she promises, offering each contestant the chance to pick off their opponents one by one when they are in the bottom two with her week after week. The Losers tell her what time it is- and it isn't time for game play. Melissa gets all of the votes and is sent packing. . .again.
Somewhere Lance is shaving his goatee and crying.

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