Thursday, September 29, 2011

The Biggest Loser- #BL12- week 2- "Don't sit on the couch and spit on the ceiling and expect things to happen for you."

I believe this is the book Anna got that quote from.

It's a new week on The Biggest Loser:  New theme song, new challenges, new drama!  Usually the contestants wait a few episodes in to start talking about GAME PLAY, but not season 12.  Let's get it on.

Ali introduces the first temptation challenge of the season:  DONUTS!  A room full of sweet donuts that need to be eaten so control can be gained!  Who will stoop to the challenge? 

Ali explains that the groups will not only be divided by age but also by time slots this week.  There is an early morning slot, a mid-day slot, and a late night slot.  Whoever eats the MOST donuts will get to choose what time the teams workout.  This is important because the teams only get two hours a day to get their burn on.

Of course we have the saintly contestants who decline to participate because they want to workout only.  But there a couple of GAME PLAYERS in the bunch:  old team Mike eats 11 donuts and feels like he has clinched the win for his team, but middle aged John ate 37 donuts, over 1,295 of winning calories.  "What did I just do?" he moans.  The black team decides to take the early morning time slot, they give the old timers the mid-day time slot because they "respect them" (burn!) and the youngsters get the late night time slot.

Bob wakes the black team up with a manic megaphone, getting them into the gym by 5 am.  John is newly crowned "Donut", and everyone feels the wrath of their win.  HIGHLIGHT:  Antone breaks down again, this time slamming his fists into his spin bike and into the ground.  Is he going to cry every episode?  Is this what releasing the demon means?

Did you all know Antone was in the NFL?  I'm not sure if the show covered that.

The black team also starts fighting with each other because John, that little trouble maker, says that Sunny is a dumb as "poo" (her quotes, not mine) and he is making alliances with members of the red team.  Has this guy never watched an episode of this show?  You don't play all your cards in the second episode!  Where will we go from here?  Where is Melissa Morgan when you need her?

Antone says in the NFL this is called an "airing out session".  Thanks, Antone.

Then it's the old timers time in the gym.  This is code for everyone works out while Anna has to coax Boston Johnny to work out.  Poor Becky.  I bet she is wishing she was just one year younger so she could be on the black team.

After a late night Yoplait yogurt plug ("It tricks it out!"), Dolvett brings the whipper snappers into the gym and gets amped!  So amped, we find out that Jessica's boyfriend MADE her gain 135 pounds during their 6 year relationship.  They blurred out the photos with his face, but apparently it is her twitter avatar if you missed it on the tv.  I'm sure she is over this guy.  I would never want to date a guy that force fed me- that is not cool.  Good thing she can now choose what she wants to eat. . .

Am I being overly sarcastic?  Or have I watched a lot of episodes of The Biggest Loser?

Dr. H drops in with his silky mullet to inform the contestants that disease is right around the bend if they don't take responsibility for their health.  I think it's sad that we get serious about our health only when it seems too far to fix.  If you start NOW when you have no issues or small issues, it's a lot easier to turn it all around.  Not when you are face to face with Dr. H and a JC Penney collection tie from 1987.  That's not the right time.

The physical challenge for the week involves a floating maze and life jackets-awesome-which the black team whoops up on for the second week in a row.  They earn a 2 pound advantage at the weigh in, the red team earns a 1 pound advantage, and the blue team gets that sound from The Price is Right when you lose- wwwwwaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.

The Last Chance Workout montage this week was seriously the BEST MONTAGE I have seen.  I was riveted the whole time.  I also heard the worst sentence: "5 am last chance workout!"  Dolvett's workout was especially sexy for some reason.  If you have it taped, go back and watch it and tell me if I am making this up.  Especially during the tug and pull section.

Weigh in!  How can people fare when they get two hours to workout a day?

Vinny:  From 405 lbs to 400 lbs- 5 lbs lost
Jessica:  From 239 lbs to 232 lbs- 7 lbs lost
Courtney:  From 257 lbs to 250 lbs- 7 lbs lost
Patrick:  From 367 lbs to 361 lbs- 6 lbs lost
Ramon:  From 338 lbs to 329 lbs- 9 lb lost  TOTAL:  35 lbs, 2.18% BW

Joe:  From 326 lbs to 324 lbs- 2 lbs lost
Jennifer:  From 311 lbs to 305 lbs- 6 lbs lost
Sunny: From 261 lbs to 255 lbs- 6 lbs lost
Antone:  From 415 lbs to 405 lbs- 10 lbs lost
John:  From 408 lbs to 393 lbs- 15 lbs lost TOTAL:  41 lbs, 2.38% BW

Becky:  From 228 lbs to 223 lbs- 5 lbs lost
Mike:  From 297 lbs to 290 lbs- 7 lbs lost
Bonnie:  From 250 lbs to 247 lbs- 3 lbs lost
Johnny:  From 311 lbs to 313 lbs- 2 lbs GAINED  TOTAL:  13 lbs, 1.2% BW

Say it ain't so, Boston Johnny!  The numbers are usually lower week 2, but a weight gain is something special.  Anna totally calls him out, saying "If you don't want to change anything you shouldn't be here."

Her words must have stuck with him, because after he is eliminated, he goes home and loses 59 pounds.  But not the straw hat.  The straw hat is staying.

Next week:  NFL WEEK!  WHAT?!?  I wish there was someone on the show this season that had been in the NFL so this episode would really resonate with them.  Like if we went to the Olympic training camp and there was a former Olympic athlete on the show.  It just makes sense.

Want to know what Courtney from season 11 has to say?  Here is her recap, courtesy of!

1 comment:

  1. Awesome recap. Love the sarcasm and wit. Though you gotta admit, some of the contestants are dumb as a box of rocks.