Friday, February 4, 2011

The Biggest Loser- season 11- week 5- BURN.

She smiles!
New drinking game!  Every time contestant Q on The Biggest Loser says the word burn, take a drink.  This episode, you may have taken 30 shots.  For reals.

SSSOOOOO. . .  The Unknowns are spending their last precious days at the top secret Biggest Loser Resort (now in Malibu flavor!) when a crack starts to show in their family facade:  Red team's Q is NOT being a team player.  He doesn't want to grapple because he "didn't feel the burn".  When trainer Cara is upset that he just walked away in the middle of her training session to join Trainer Brett's team, she and the rest of the team confront Q.  "I'm focusing on my burn!" he snarls like a caged animal.

OKAY!  Okay.  Just calm down, Q.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the BJ's are getting ready for one of Bob's Famous Circuits and Hannah gets a back bending Mind Bullet from Jillian about Hannah living in a "state of fear".  All the while, Don looks like he would rather be sitting on a mound of red hot fire ants than participate at the ranch.

Jay and Jen return from The Unknowns camp just in time for a weigh in where we lose some dead weight.

Courtney:  From 292 lbs to 282 lbs- 10 lbs lost
Marci:  From 211 lbs to 208 lbs- 3 lbs lost  Total: 13 lbs; 2.58% BW

Jen:  From 242 lbs to 236 lbs- 6 lbs lost
Jay:  From 350 lbs to 341 lbs- 9 lbs lost  Total: 15 lbs; 2.53% BW

Olivia:  From 233 lbs to 228 lbs- 5 lbs lost
Hannah:  From 220 lbs to 217 lbs- 3 lbs lost Total:  8 lbs; 1.77% BW

Arthur:  From 459 lbs to 450 lbs- 9 lbs lost
Jesse:  From 269 lbs to 266 lbs- 3 lbs lost  Total:  12 lbs; 1.65% BW


Irene:  224 lbs to 330 lbs- 6 lbs GAINED
Don:  From 280 lbs to 286 lbs- 6 lbs GAINED  Total:  + 12 lbs

Irene caught a case of the Twins!  No, you aren't seeing double.  Irene and Don planned this escape so Don could get the hell off the ranch and Arthur and Jesse would be safe for another week.  See you later, Don!  What a drag.

Ali then announces that the ranch is going to get a whole lot cozier because The Unknowns are moving back in!  Like an episode of The Facts of Life, the BJ's wonder how 19 people are going to get along under 1 roof with 4 cranky trainers and a hot headmistress.

Unlike the BJ's, the Unknown trainers are PUMPED to be on the ranch, and let us know by a big show of love and appreciation to the two trainers that have paved the way for the past 10 seasons.  Then we have to watch the clip of Cara and Brett doing their thing AGAIN (like we don't know who they are by now).

The BJ's seems scared and judgey about the Unknowns and their "crazy" training methods.  Arthur on Rulon: "That's a mountain of a man and he moves like a gazelle!"  Then Rulon broke 2 treadmills.  Everyone is pushing it to the limit, except Q, who really isn't working that hard.  You can just tell by watching him move sluggishly across the floor.

Then it is time for The Unknowns to compete against each other in their first challenge.  The BJ's get to watch and cheer because they are competing in their own challenge:  They must lose more than 48 pounds collectively to win immunity for themselves.  Otherwise, they are sending another player home.  NBC needs to make room for next season!

The Unknowns challenge involves hauling stacks of weight plates relay style and placing the weight on the teams they would like out of the game.  The last team standing receives immunity.  Another clue to how the show is going to end tonight:  Everyone targets the Red team right away.    "What the hell is going on?" asks Q.  Hasn't he watched the show before?  He is on WATCH.

The winners are the Yellow team, who have become the self proclaimed God Fathers of The Unknowns.  Seriously, was there some sort of vote we didn't see?  Everyone is so willing to let them take charge and call all the shots.  Of course, they feel sad that they won because they are "family", and on a cheer of "Family!" they head out into their weigh in. . .

But not before the BJ's have their LAST CHANCE WORKOUT.  "You know the drill," says Bob.  Arthur is sporting a hot new pirate goatee and silver earring to proclaim his victory as Stair Master, while Jillian makes Jen carry her around the gym.  Even Jillian needs a hug from time to time.  Might as well incorporate love and pain into 1 move.

How do the 2 teams fair on their games?  BJ's first!

Irene:  From 224 lbs to 216 lbs- 8 lbs lost

Jay:  From 341 lbs to 331 lbs- 10 lbs lost

Jen:  From 236 lbs to 232 lbs- 4 lbs lost

Olivia-  From 228 lbs to 224 lbs- 4 lbs lost

Hannah:  From 217 lbs to 210 lbs- 7 lbs lost

Courtney:  From 282 lbs to 275 lbs- 7 lbs lost

Marci:  From 208 lbs to 200 lbs- 8 lbs lost

Arthur:  From 450 lbs to 444 lbs- 6 lbs lost

Jesse:  From 266 lbs to 257 lbs- 9 lbs lost  TOTAL:  63 lbs lost

The BJ's have earned their immunity this week!  How did The Unknowns do?

Justin:  From 308 lbs to 292 lbs- 16 lbs lost
Rulon:  From 411 lbs to 394 lbs- 17 lbs lost  TOTAL: 33 lbs (immunity)

Ken:  From 335 lbs to 321 lbs- 13 lbs lost
Austen: From 342 lbs to 326 lbs- 16 lbs lost  TOTAL: 30 lbs, 4.43% BW

Deni:  From 221 lbs to 210 lbs- 11 lbs lost
Sarah:  From 231 lbs to 222 lbs- 9 lbs lost  TOTAL:  20 lbs, 4.42% BW

Moses:  From 365 lbs to 351 lbs- 14 lbs lost
Kaylee:  From 204 lbs to 195 lbs- 9 lbs lost  TOTAL:  23 lbs, 4.04% BW


Q:  From 398 lbs to 385 lbs- 13 lbs lost
Larialmy:  From 270 lbs to 259 lbs- 11 lbs lost  TOTAL:  24 lbs, 3.59% BW

NEWS FLASH:  My computer doesn't recognize Larialmy as a word.

As The Unknowns weigh in, the BJ's seem to have a little trainer envy.  And it is true:  The Unknowns numbers ARE HUGE compared to Bob and Jillian's players.  What is the secret?  Are Brett and Cara better trainers?  Is it the meals at the Resort?  Do The Unknowns just work harder?  I feel we will soon see the difference head to head next episode!!!

After Justin makes Q promise not to screw up his chance on the ranch, Larialmy is sent home on her wishes.  At home, she has lost 74 lbs, hangs out with her sister Chasisity (also popping up in spell checker), and plans on opening a wellness center.

Oh yeah, and Don.  He's lost 87 lbs and shows us the most uncomfortable family dinner of all time starring his douchey son Paul and his community theatre loving daughter Courtney, who swears her dad is her hero.  Right.

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