Why you shouldn't take steroids. . .

You can do it on your own.


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
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The Biggest Loser- #BL11- week 8- BALLS. Big Ones.

For lack of a better word.

"The Kids are Alright"

This week's episode of The Biggest Loser was so FULL of crap.  It actually made me angry, really angry!

This week there was the red line/yellow line business.  The Red team went to a new and exciting location to box.  BOX!  Can you believe it?  We learned the Scorpion Flip.  The Black and Red teams played with their balls.

This is what really annoyed me about the episode.  After the ball challenge where the Black team lost, the Black team gathered around the table to discuss what will happen when they lose the weigh in.  Not IF they lose the weigh in.  What unfolds is a master manipulation by Marci to convince the parents in the team to let the "kids" stay on the show.  Basically, the parents throw the weigh in to insure the younger folks get to keep participating.  When Jesse says he isn't ready to go yet, the women at the table turn it around on him, making their whole cause about "keeping Arthur safe".

Hold on.  If Arthur hadn't lost 20 pounds last week, they were going to vote him off.  Remember?  The Black team NEEDS Arthur and Jesse and their larger numbers as they get smaller.  Marci is already under 200 pounds.  So is Deni.  Why don't they volunteer to go home?

When Jesse says he wants to stay and calls the team out on their game play, Olivia gets up from the table indignantly like Jesse did something to her personally.  My theory?  She felt guilty because the women had already planned to send Jesse home and thought he was going along with it.

At the weigh in, the game play becomes even more apparent.

Austin:  From 306 to 299- 7 lbs lost

Ken:  From 296 to 291- 5 lbs lost

Justin:  From 277 to 270- 7 lbs lost

Rulon:  From 371 to 367- 4 lbs lost

Kaylee:  From 187 to 180- 7 lbs lost

Moses:  From 333 to 322- 11 lbs lost

Jen:  From 211 to 213- 2 lbs gained (Which I don't understand.)

Arthur:  From 415 to 406- 9 lbs lost

Olivia:  From 206 to 202- 4 lbs lost

Sarah:  From 208 lbs to 204 lbs- 4 lbs lost

Irene:  From 198 to 195- 3 lbs lost

Hannah:  From 194 to 193- 1 lb lost

Courtney:  From 258 to 256- 2 lbs lost

Marci:  From 181 to 182- 1 lb gained

Jesse: From 238 to 241- 3 lbs gained

Deni:  From 196 to 204 lbs- 8 lbs gained

"It's clear that something is going on," says Rulon.

Instead of trying to really lose weight and come together as a team, the Black team becomes petty, losing very few pounds (except Arthur).  The parents gained weight to "protect" their "kids".  There are no kids on this team.  They are all grown ups, and some of the parents could go home because they have already lost a good amount of weight.  Instead, Deni takes a DIVE, gaining 8 pounds, and then giving a speech about how she gained the weight to save the "kids".

How about showing your support by pushing each other and making the effort?  Gaining weight shows you don't believe your teammates have what it takes to lose the weight themselves.  The Black team is shattered, and I cannot imagine how they will ever recover after losing two team members:  Deni after falling below the red line, and Jesse being voted off in an unfair elimination.

At home, Jesse has started a walking program and Deni has become a super grandma.

Next week:  The teams are going home for two weeks and Jillian prepares for her transition to Oscar winning actress.

Want to hear what Mark has to say?  Here is his two cents, courtesy of Dietsinreview.com.

Sunday Funday!

Maybe it won't be THIS exciting when you win my giveaway. Or maybe it will!

A Foster Fitness First! MY VERY FIRST PRIZE GIVEAWAY: MultiGrain Cheerios edition

I am nearing the second anniversary of my blog and I have never, ever given anything away except my advice and hilarious insights.  :)  I thought this was enough, but the folks at General Mills have reached out to me and given me an offer I couldn't refuse:  The ability to give one lucky Foster Fitness reader a MultiGrain Cheerios prize pack.

Alison, tell them what they'll win!



 One lucky reader will receive all this!  The prize pack includes:

One full size box of MultiGrain Cheerios!

An access code to a free Biggest Loser 7 day training plan.

A BPA-free plastic water bottle in PURPLE.

A handy plastic cereal holder (I'll use mine for snacks for work!).



A purple and grey sport duffel bag, perfect for a change of clothes and gym shoes.

What do you need to do to enter?  Follow these simple steps!

1. Leave a comment on this post with a brief reason why you need a nutrition and exercise jump start.
2. Follow this blog.
3. Follow me on Twitter @FosterFitness.
4. Follow me on Facebook- www.facebook.com/fosterfitness
5. Retweet this message: "I entered @FosterFitness 1st ever @MGCheerios Giveaway!  I am a rock star! #BL11"

Sounds easy!  Get out there and WIN WIN WIN!!!!!  I will announce the winner on MARCH 1st!  Be creative, have fun, and shamelessly self promote me!

I'll have my review of the 7 day Jump Start plan later on this week.  Tune in!

The Biggest Loser- #BL11- week 7- "In order to heal, you have to open up."

A touchy feely episode of The Biggest Loser this week, folks.  No major drama and no chocolate fountains.  What we do see is a little more about certain characters we haven't focused on this season and the ability of both teams to step up and stop relying on one person to carry it for everyone.  Nothing too exciting, but we do see Brett and Cara attempting some Mind Bullet action for the first time.

The show starts with Arthur trying to explain to a very confused Jesse about his plan to trade Jay and Jen to The Unknowns.  "My goal is to stay here as long as we can," and Arthur is confident that he can win back his team's love and adoration.

The next morning, Ali greets both teams with a Pop Challenge:  Untangle each team member wrapped up in ropes for the chance to win the week in the gym.  Losers have to work out outside.  Justin feels immediately confident as he is both a cowboy AND an Eagle Scout, and quickly works out the kinks to claim victory.  They grab the antique key that releases the old timey pirate padlock and get to work.

"Jillian is going to kill us," moans Marci.  And the Black team certainly does seem mopey and down as Bob and Jillian check to see how they are doing.  "I feel bad news emanating from your area," Jillian says.  The Black team explains the gym-less situation, and Bob and Jillian promise a tough week of grueling outdoor workouts so that they can triumph over the mighty Unknowns.  Besides, challenges don't win the show:  Weight loss wins the show.  And the Black team has won the last two weigh ins. 

The yoke is heavy on Arthur's shoulders to really pull it out this week, and the ladies of the Black team are on his case to eat well ("Momma says no cheese"), taking away his sausage and steak for water poached fish and salads. 

On the Unknowns front, Jen, Justin, and Austin become the Subway "Eat Fresh" Community Players, acting out what may be the worst Subway plug EVER on the show.  After a gym workout, the Unknowns casually lounge by a cabana next to the pool where Austin sets up a challenge for Jen and Justin- whoever jumps in the pool with all of their clothes on and swims across the pool and back first has to serve the other person a Subway breakfast sandwich in bed.  Justin wins, and Jen serves him his sandwich in a plastic bag.  Fancy!

At the weekly challenge, the teams are encouraged to get their "lives back on track" by pushing a 24 ton train 800 feet while answering health based trivia questions.  I would have thought that the Black team had this, but the Red team was so much faster that even getting 5 out of 6 nutrition questions wrong they STILL beat the Black team.  Their prize is the ability to pick one person from the Black team whose weight won't count at the weigh in.

At the Last Chance Workout, Brett gets Kaylee to open up about not feeling good about herself and Cara works on a pissy Rulon, who has been lashing out all week and finally admits that he has been checked out for the past six years and roars, "I'M NOT GOING TO GAIN MY WEIGHT BACK!"  Outside the gym, Bob and Jillian coach their team through lawn chair furniture lifts, proving that having a gym membership is not a prerequisite for weight loss.

After Arthur pushes Jillian's truck all by himself to a montage of him pushing the truck the first episode, it is time for this week's weigh in.  Who will be the winners?  Red team goes first!

Jay:  From 317 lbs to 308 lbs- 9 lbs lost

Jen:  From 218 lbs to 211 lbs- 7 lbs lost

Moses:  From 340 lbs to 333 lbs- 7 lbs lost

Kaylee:  From 190 lbs to 187 lbs- 3 lbs lost

Justin:  From 282 lbs to 277 lbs- 5 lbs lost

Rulon:  From 382 lbs to 371 lbs- 11 lbs lost (over 100 lbs lost)

Austin:  From 316 lbs to 306 lbs- 10 lbs lost

Ken:  From 307 lbs to 296 lbs- 11 lbs lost  TOTAL:  63 lbs, 2.68% BW

The Black team will have to lose 52 pounds with one person's weight not counting.  The Red team chooses Irene.  IRENE?  Okay, if that's your strategy.  I would have chosen Arthur or Courtney!

Irene:  From 204 lbs to 198 lbs- 6 lbs lost

Deni:  From 201 lbs to 196 lbs- 5 lbs lost

Sarah:  From 212 lbs to 208 lbs- 4 lbs lost

Olivia:  From 208 lbs to 206 lbs- 2 lbs lost

Hannah:  From 201 lbs to 194 lbs- 7 lbs lost

Marci:  From 187 lbs to 181 lbs- 6 lbs lost

Courtney:  From 265 lbs to 258 lbs- 7 lbs lost

Jesse:  From 246 lbs to 238 lbs- 8 lbs lost

Arthur:  From 435 lbs to 415 lbs- 20 lbs lost  TOTAL:  59 lbs, 3.02% BW

The Black team wins for the third time in a row!  Had the Red team chose Arthur, they would have won.  Wee woo.

At the elimination ceremony, the Red team chooses Jay to go home, even though I would have taken this opportunity to get rid of Justin or Rulon since they are a much larger threat.  Where is the strategy this season?  I don't always agree with Arthur, but at least he spices it up a bit.

At home, Jay has lost 111 pounds and taken 7 years off his Dr. H real number age.  And he is planning on taking the at home prize.

NEXT WEEK:  A double elimination!  Juicy.

Want to know what Mark has to say?  Here's his take, courtesy of DietsinReview.com!

I Survived Cycle For Survival!

This is me Sunday morning at Cycle for Survival, an event to raise money for Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer center hosted by Equinox.  It was a blast!  Thanks to Jess from Fit Chick in the City for putting our team together.

Here are some photos of the event.  If you ever have the chance to participate in something this cool, DO IT.

The Spin Instructor Platform flanked by Twitter TVs.

The view from my bike.

The torture device.  Er, spin bike.  Go #77!

The Tribute Wall.

All the family members who have died from cancer I was riding for.

It was a cool and motivating workout that was so inspiring!  Let's hope all the dough raised kicks some serious cancer butt.

Casual Friday

Subway graffiti is the best.  I LOVE this saying.  Live your life without limitations!!!!

The Biggest Loser- #BL11- week 6- "Mafia Prom"

"Dear Arthur, you make really dumb choices.  Sincerely, Alison"

Holy crap.  The Biggest Loser this week ripped the face off of niceness, dipped it in chocolate, and shoved it down it's gullet.  THE H IS O people.  THE H IS O!

The H is O, a short by Adam Mckay from Adam "Ghost Panther" McKay

(This short film explains the phrase "THE H IS O". It is SO NSFW. But it is SF anyone that loves Ben Stiller and Will Ferrell.)

The show starts with Larialmy's (sp?) elimination.  The BJ's are brought into the elimination room with the Unknowns so Ali can break the news:  It is now Red versus Black. "Johnny Cash style," quips Hannah.  "It's war," a sleep deprived looking Justin mumbles.

To celebrate the new coupling, Ali introduces a Valentine's themed Temptation.  If only there had been a chocolate fountain!  The Losers are tempted by chocolates of all shapes and sizes.  They have three minutes to decide if they are going to eat the chocolate or not, and if they do partake, whoever eats the most wins.  What is the prize?  The winner can send two members of their team to the other side in exchange for two members of the other team.  Best part?  The winner remains in a cloak of secrecy, never to be revealed.

OOOOHHHH.  Everyone is on the same page, only eat chocolates so they can keep their teams together. . .right?  Oh, Arthur didn't get that memo.  When Arthur gets to the challenge he opens his mouth wide, engaging in food eating competition style practices, and shoves chocolate into his mouth for the entire three minutes.  The end result:  35 pieces eaten.

Ali announces that someone DID indeed want to change teams, and Jay and Jen from the Black team will now be switching places with Sarah and Deni from the Red team.  Everyone cries like they are never going to see each other again, and as the tears are being dried, Arthur decides to pipe up and admit that he is the master mind behind the diabolical plan.  WHAT?  NO.

Arthur doesn't like to be told what to do, so he chose to decide for everyone else.  And I don't know what happened between him and Jay and Jen, but he got rid of them last time, too.  He just doesn't trust them?  WHAT HAPPENED!?!?  It is like Michael Scott's hatred of Toby on "The Office":  It is never fully explained.



Everyone turns on Arthur because of his strategy.  Did I mention he picked Sarah and Deni because he plans on voting them off to save his dad?  Oh, yeah.  Arthur needs to sleep with the door locked tonight.

The next morning in the gym, Jillian and Bob meet their new team members and try to figure out why Arthur played such a stupid card.  In a surprising turn of events, Arthur bursts into tears and Jillian hugs and comforts him.  Never saw that happening.

The Red team joins the Black team in the gym and there is a lot of snarking and back biting amongst the two.  One is too loud, one is too soft, one is too hard, one is too easy, blah blah blah.  What they fail to realize is that they are ALL right.  Both training methods are effective, it just depends on which style you prefer.

Then it is on to the first Red versus Black challenge, where the Black team smokes the Red team.  What held up the Red team?  Having to guess the calorie counts of various junk foods.  Looks like being at the Resort instead of making your own food is their Achilles heel.  The Black team wins videos from home, gets snugly, and we discover that Deni missed her own daughter's wedding to be on the show.  That is commitment.

How did the teams do pitted against each other in their first versus weigh in?

Jay:  From 331 lbs to 317 lbs- 14 lbs lost

Jen:  From 232 lbs to 218 lbs- 14 lbs lost

Austin:  From 326 lbs to 316 lbs- 10 lb lost

Ken:  From 321 lbs to 307 lbs- 14 lbs lost

Q:  From 385 lbs to 378 lbs- 7 lbs lost

Rulon:  From 394 lbs to 382 lbs- 12 lbs lost

Justin:  From 292 lbs to 282 lbs- 10 lbs lost

Kaylee:  From 195 lbs to 190 lbs- 5 lbs lost

Moses:  From 351 lbs to 340 lbs- 11 lbs lost (and first person to reach 100 lbs of weight loss)
TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS:  97 lbs

Deni:  From 210 lbs to 201 lbs- 9 lbs lost

Sarah:  From 222 lbs to 212 lbs- 10 lbs lost

Arthur:  From 444 lbs to 435 lbs- 9 lbs lost

Jesse:  From 257 lbs to 246 lbs- 11 lbs lost

Courtney:  From 275 lbs to 265 lbs- 10 lbs lost

Marci:  From 200 lbs to 187 lbs- 13 lbs lost

Olivia:  From 224 lbs to 208 lbs- 16 lbs lost

Irene:  From 216 lbs to 204 lbs- 12 lbs lost

Hannah:  From 210 lbs to 201 lbs- 9 lbs lost

TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS: 99 lbs 

The Black team wins again!  "We whooped up on you!" says a happy Hannah.

The Red team heads to the elimination ceremony and it is no surprise that Q is eliminated.  When we see him revealed, he has lost 92 pounds and plans on being shirtless at the beach this summer.

Next week:  Care Bears vs NFL Footballers!

Want to know what Mark has to say?  Check it out, courtesy of Dietsinreview.com!

Taking time to enjoy the miracle

I have been putting in many hours at the new job.  Yesterday I was out of my apartment for over 18 hours, only to come home and fall asleep within 30 minutes, wake up at 4:30 am, and do it again. 


I have become very familiar with the sound of my alarm clock.  I know what it is like to walk down the street before anyone else is there.  I regularly see the sun rise through the windows of the gym.  And I know what it feels like to be achingly, unbelievably tired.

The other day, though, after a long and trying week, I received my first box of professional business cards.  They were so slick and I loved the way my name looked in the print.  I felt established.  Professional, even.  I had to stop for a minute and think through my sleep deprived brain that I had to be thankful because I had actually made my dreams come true.  I am doing what I love to do.

Sure, there are the little day to day hiccups that aren't as fun or as glamorous.  But when I am working with a client one on one and helping them to achieve their goals it all is worthwhile.

So even though I don't have as much time for outside activities like I used to, or time with the boyfriend, or time to get a really awesome FULL night's sleep with no alarm clock attached, at the end of the day I am thankful.  Sometimes that is the biggest miracle of all.

Sunday Funday! Super Bowl Edition!

Something to think about while you are watching the BIG GAME.  Don't blame me if the song gets stuck in your head.

#BL11 Mark Recap! Episode 5

Sorry guys, I almost forgot about what #BL10 Mark has to say about #BL11, courtesy of Diets in Review!

The Biggest Loser- season 11- week 5- BURN.

She smiles!

New drinking game!  Every time contestant Q on The Biggest Loser says the word burn, take a drink.  This episode, you may have taken 30 shots.  For reals.

SSSOOOOO. . .  The Unknowns are spending their last precious days at the top secret Biggest Loser Resort (now in Malibu flavor!) when a crack starts to show in their family facade:  Red team's Q is NOT being a team player.  He doesn't want to grapple because he "didn't feel the burn".  When trainer Cara is upset that he just walked away in the middle of her training session to join Trainer Brett's team, she and the rest of the team confront Q.  "I'm focusing on my burn!" he snarls like a caged animal.

OKAY!  Okay.  Just calm down, Q.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the BJ's are getting ready for one of Bob's Famous Circuits and Hannah gets a back bending Mind Bullet from Jillian about Hannah living in a "state of fear".  All the while, Don looks like he would rather be sitting on a mound of red hot fire ants than participate at the ranch.

Jay and Jen return from The Unknowns camp just in time for a weigh in where we lose some dead weight.

Courtney:  From 292 lbs to 282 lbs- 10 lbs lost
Marci:  From 211 lbs to 208 lbs- 3 lbs lost  Total: 13 lbs; 2.58% BW

Jen:  From 242 lbs to 236 lbs- 6 lbs lost
Jay:  From 350 lbs to 341 lbs- 9 lbs lost  Total: 15 lbs; 2.53% BW

Olivia:  From 233 lbs to 228 lbs- 5 lbs lost
Hannah:  From 220 lbs to 217 lbs- 3 lbs lost Total:  8 lbs; 1.77% BW

Arthur:  From 459 lbs to 450 lbs- 9 lbs lost
Jesse:  From 269 lbs to 266 lbs- 3 lbs lost  Total:  12 lbs; 1.65% BW

YELLOW LINE

Irene:  224 lbs to 330 lbs- 6 lbs GAINED
Don:  From 280 lbs to 286 lbs- 6 lbs GAINED  Total:  + 12 lbs

Irene caught a case of the Twins!  No, you aren't seeing double.  Irene and Don planned this escape so Don could get the hell off the ranch and Arthur and Jesse would be safe for another week.  See you later, Don!  What a drag.

Ali then announces that the ranch is going to get a whole lot cozier because The Unknowns are moving back in!  Like an episode of The Facts of Life, the BJ's wonder how 19 people are going to get along under 1 roof with 4 cranky trainers and a hot headmistress.

Unlike the BJ's, the Unknown trainers are PUMPED to be on the ranch, and let us know by a big show of love and appreciation to the two trainers that have paved the way for the past 10 seasons.  Then we have to watch the clip of Cara and Brett doing their thing AGAIN (like we don't know who they are by now).

The BJ's seems scared and judgey about the Unknowns and their "crazy" training methods.  Arthur on Rulon: "That's a mountain of a man and he moves like a gazelle!"  Then Rulon broke 2 treadmills.  Everyone is pushing it to the limit, except Q, who really isn't working that hard.  You can just tell by watching him move sluggishly across the floor.

Then it is time for The Unknowns to compete against each other in their first challenge.  The BJ's get to watch and cheer because they are competing in their own challenge:  They must lose more than 48 pounds collectively to win immunity for themselves.  Otherwise, they are sending another player home.  NBC needs to make room for next season!

The Unknowns challenge involves hauling stacks of weight plates relay style and placing the weight on the teams they would like out of the game.  The last team standing receives immunity.  Another clue to how the show is going to end tonight:  Everyone targets the Red team right away.    "What the hell is going on?" asks Q.  Hasn't he watched the show before?  He is on WATCH.

The winners are the Yellow team, who have become the self proclaimed God Fathers of The Unknowns.  Seriously, was there some sort of vote we didn't see?  Everyone is so willing to let them take charge and call all the shots.  Of course, they feel sad that they won because they are "family", and on a cheer of "Family!" they head out into their weigh in. . .

But not before the BJ's have their LAST CHANCE WORKOUT.  "You know the drill," says Bob.  Arthur is sporting a hot new pirate goatee and silver earring to proclaim his victory as Stair Master, while Jillian makes Jen carry her around the gym.  Even Jillian needs a hug from time to time.  Might as well incorporate love and pain into 1 move.

How do the 2 teams fair on their games?  BJ's first!

Irene:  From 224 lbs to 216 lbs- 8 lbs lost

Jay:  From 341 lbs to 331 lbs- 10 lbs lost

Jen:  From 236 lbs to 232 lbs- 4 lbs lost

Olivia-  From 228 lbs to 224 lbs- 4 lbs lost

Hannah:  From 217 lbs to 210 lbs- 7 lbs lost

Courtney:  From 282 lbs to 275 lbs- 7 lbs lost

Marci:  From 208 lbs to 200 lbs- 8 lbs lost

Arthur:  From 450 lbs to 444 lbs- 6 lbs lost

Jesse:  From 266 lbs to 257 lbs- 9 lbs lost  TOTAL:  63 lbs lost

The BJ's have earned their immunity this week!  How did The Unknowns do?

Justin:  From 308 lbs to 292 lbs- 16 lbs lost
Rulon:  From 411 lbs to 394 lbs- 17 lbs lost  TOTAL: 33 lbs (immunity)

Ken:  From 335 lbs to 321 lbs- 13 lbs lost
Austen: From 342 lbs to 326 lbs- 16 lbs lost  TOTAL: 30 lbs, 4.43% BW

Deni:  From 221 lbs to 210 lbs- 11 lbs lost
Sarah:  From 231 lbs to 222 lbs- 9 lbs lost  TOTAL:  20 lbs, 4.42% BW

Moses:  From 365 lbs to 351 lbs- 14 lbs lost
Kaylee:  From 204 lbs to 195 lbs- 9 lbs lost  TOTAL:  23 lbs, 4.04% BW

YELLOW LINE

Q:  From 398 lbs to 385 lbs- 13 lbs lost
Larialmy:  From 270 lbs to 259 lbs- 11 lbs lost  TOTAL:  24 lbs, 3.59% BW

NEWS FLASH:  My computer doesn't recognize Larialmy as a word.

As The Unknowns weigh in, the BJ's seem to have a little trainer envy.  And it is true:  The Unknowns numbers ARE HUGE compared to Bob and Jillian's players.  What is the secret?  Are Brett and Cara better trainers?  Is it the meals at the Resort?  Do The Unknowns just work harder?  I feel we will soon see the difference head to head next episode!!!

After Justin makes Q promise not to screw up his chance on the ranch, Larialmy is sent home on her wishes.  At home, she has lost 74 lbs, hangs out with her sister Chasisity (also popping up in spell checker), and plans on opening a wellness center.

Oh yeah, and Don.  He's lost 87 lbs and shows us the most uncomfortable family dinner of all time starring his douchey son Paul and his community theatre loving daughter Courtney, who swears her dad is her hero.  Right.

Way Back Wednesday!

As I got out and started walking around on all the ice outside, this little ditty from School House Rock popped into my head. . .there is skating in it!  And maybe you will learn your multiplication tables.  Now I know 11 times 8 is 88!  And 12 times 8?  It's 96.