Why my life gets more awesome every day. . .

1.)  Bryan Donovan (my fave from Thintervention) came to visit me at my place of business last night.  He is awesome, much taller than I expected, and he got to visit Rosie O'Donnell earlier in the day.  I hope he could handle the whirlwind of cool seeing me in my waitress uniform!  THANK YOU BRYAN!!!!

2.)  Mandy (the mommy from Thintervention) posted on my finale blog in the comments!  WHAT?!?  How neat is it that people from the shows I love love the love that I am pouring out?

I am blessed. :)

Thintervention with Jackie Warner- episode 8- THE FINALE!- "I didn't know you were female!"

After seven weeks with Jackie and six weeks at home, the Thinterventionists of Thintervention have come to the Park Plaza Hotel for their big reveal to their friends and families.  The mc's for the evening are Herr Warner and Frau Craig, looking dapper in their Sunday's best.  Even though Jackie is wearing a dress she still could kill you with those biceps.

How did everyone do?  Bravo put together this slide show with great before and after pics.  We know that Jackie has got the goods because these folks look amazing!!!  But it isn't just their outsides.  Everyone has a light in their eyes, more awareness of how they got to the size they were, and the realization of the things they need to watch out for in the future.

Mandy:  Started at 167 lbs- Goal was 137 lbs- Finished at 133 lbs- 34 lbs lost!

• Has decided to get her personal trainer certification
• Helped her husband lose weight
• realized in order to be there for her kids she needed to be there for herself first

Jeana:  Started at 174 lbs- Goal was 149 lbs- Finished at 153 lbs- 21 lbs lost!

• has reprioritized her life by putting herself first
• has fought against her depression
• doesn't let her kids treat her badly anymore
• "She struts!"

Shay:  Started at 204 lbs- Goal was 154 lbs- Finished at 170 lbs- 34 lbs lost!

• admitted she had been abusing laxatives since she was 12-years-old
• discovered that she loves to dance
• lost almost half of her body fat percentage

Joe:  Started at 230 lbs- Goal was 190 lbs- Finished at 188 lbs- 42 lbs lost!

• learned to hold himself accountable for his actions
• has learned he wants emotional connections with women, not just focusing on looks
• has earned the nickname "Mr. Muscles" from Jackie

Nikki:  Started at 223 lbs- Goal was 173 lbs- Finished at 182 lbs- 41 lbs lost

• her biggest struggle was her self sabotage
• tells her friends she is "not calling to cocktail, but calling to hike"
• has learned that she actually enjoys exercise and taking control of her own life

Stacey:  Started at 224 lbs- Goal was 174 lbs- Finished at 184 lbs- 40 lbs lost!

• even with PCOS managed to more than double her expected weight loss
• learned that food didn't have to be her security blanket- now she goes to the gym
• no longer has cankles- take that, Joe!

Bryan:  Started at 266 lbs- Goal was 206 lbs- Finished at 198 lbs- 68 lbs lost!

• can now fit into his partner Miguel's clothes
• looks about nine feet taller
• has really worked on his relationship with food and knows when to step away

This show was so much fun to watch and I enjoyed getting to "meet" Bryan and getting to share all these wonderful stories of achievement.  Who would have thought this ragtag band of characters would have made it so far?  I am looking forward to Jackie and Craig motivating more people for many seasons to come!

Thintervention with Jackie Warner- episode 7- "Camp Jackie!"

After last week's interview with Thintervention's Bryan I was ready to throw in the towel.  How will I top that?  Then I realized there are still two episodes of the show left and I should probably finish what I started.  Okay.

Still reeling from Bryan's surprising loss in the Pussy Cats Doll sex off, the Thinterventionists are on their own for the first three days of the week, promising to eat cleanly and workout to intensity.  At the end of the three days everyone packs their bags:  We are going on vacation!  Fitness vacation, but still!

The team heads to Renaissance Club Sport to meet a grinning Craig in the lobby with a stack of gift bags.  Inside the bags:  Swim suits!  Suddenly the air is out of everyone's happy balloons.  "So, yes, we are doing a pool workout," Craig says.  There is a lot of fuss, mostly with the ladies, and Joe of course shows his sensitive side by telling them to suck it up.  When Shay seems overly sensitive about showing her body because of stretch marks, Craig offers to show her his own and some tears in the process.  I am loving Craig more and more every episode-- hot gay guy that is also sensitive?  Does he like musicals?  Let's talk, Craig.

Out by the pool, Jackie is looking Terminator Fab in her bikini, eliciting a "Turn around, let's see" from Joe.  CREEPY.  Jackie says no and threatens some bodily harm after he asks again.  What is with this guy?  It's almost like he doesn't know that there are cameras on him.  PS- Jackie likes ladies.  Didn't he watch "Work Out"?  Joe thinks his charm knows no bounds.

After an intense pool workout, Stacy wins her own hotel room.  The others are paired up:  Joe and Bryan, Mandy and Shay, and Jeana and Nikki.  "I'm being punished," moans Nikki, hurting Jeana's feelings.  Even though Stacy is in her own room, she still comes to Shay's to gossip about Joe and talk about his toddler sized package.

Meanwhile, Joe is working one on one with Craig who is trying to teach Joe some manners with the ladies.  Joe thinks his sense of humor is fun and Craig tells him that making fun of Stacy's cankles and asking to see Jackie's ass are not considered funny.  And if Jackie took it personally, she is taking it out on Bryan, who decided to have a one on one with her.  "I'm SO glad I asked Jackie for an extra workout today," he sweats.

Joe meets up with Jackie and apologizes for being crude, rude, and socially unacceptable.  Jackie tells him he needs to stop being so caught up in trying to look like her and focus on his insides.  With that fresh knowledge, Joe asks a Bible reading Bryan ("It's the Good Book.  It's really good.") if he would like to go to the bar and get a drink.  Bryan reminds him that they are on a workout show called Thintervention, leaving Joe to meet up with Jeana and Craig.  No Nikki, though.  Improvements all around!

For the Extreme Workout, Jackie breaks the participants into two teams to compete in a rowing race.  The winners get a day at the spa and the losers get to wake up early for a two hour morning workout.  Bryan, Joe, Nikki, and Jackie compete against Jeana, Shay, Stacy, Mandy, and Craig.  Not surprisingly, the team with five people wins the race.  "It's so great to beat Jackie Warner!" says Mandy.

After a hard day of boating, Jackie takes them all out to dinner.  For starters, she orders a bevy of unhealthy choices:  Fried calamari, artichoke dip, coconut shrimp, kobe beef sliders.  "What is Jackie doing?  Is she stoned?" wonders Joe.  Bryan and Stacy become visible upset when the food arrives, and when Jackie asks why, Bryan says, "It's like throwing cocaine at a drug addict."

"This is how the world operates," Jackie replies.  And it is true.  When people are trying to lose weight and be "good", the temptations of food and things you can't control sometimes appear to be too great to resist.  Nikki doesn't know what the big issue is, stating if she was upset over the food she "would realize I'm not ready".  Nikki gets totally Oprah and starts offering some really sound advice about dealing in the real world.  "When Nikki is the voice of reason, anything is possible," Jackie says.

The offending coconut shrimp is removed, and everyone starts to order their real meals.  It is every waitress's nightmare:  A bunch of special instructions that TV shows tell you that restaurants are totally cool with ("Can you give me four ounces of a six ounce steak and wrap up the other two ounces for me?") that they really are not.  Modifications within reason are acceptable- sauce on the side, no cheese, etc.- but when you start asking to change the portions?  My chef at my job would rip me AND the customer a new one.

Later in the evening, Nikki and Bryan are tucked into bed and Nikki shares that the program is really starting to work for her.  "My one concern is motivation," she says.  Luckily, she had Bryan there to keep her going over the next six weeks when they have to go off on their own.

After a naked Craig in the jacuzzi interlude, the ladies at the spa and the losers in the gym, it is time for the therapy and weigh in.  When asked what their biggest challenges were, everyone has a lot of good observations about themselves.  Realizing they are emotional eaters, that food is not love, food is a crutch, not caring about themselves, putting others before themselves, and not feeling like they were worth it are all major discoveries that they have made.

And Joe finally apologizes to Stacy.  What if they ended up together?  Wouldn't that be nutso?

Mandy:  From 145 lbs to 144 lbs- 1 lb lost
Shay:  From 184 lbs to 185 lbs- 1 lb gained
Jeana:  From 162 lbs to 161 lbs- 1 lb lost
Joe:  From 211 lbs to 208 lbs- 3 lbs lost
Stacy:  From 206 lbs to 204 lbs- 2 lbs lost
Nikki:  From 205 lbs to 205 lbs- 0 lbs lost
Bryan:  From 234 lbs to 227 lbs- 7 lbs lost

Not the greatest weigh in ever.  Shay gained because she ate three breakfasts, Jeana is barely half way to her weight loss goal, and Nikki thinks this is getting "ridiculous".  I mean, if you can't lose weight at Camp Jackie, how are you going to do it at home?

Jackie reminds everyone what they will need to do to stay successful during their six weeks apart:
1.) Intensity of exercise
2.) Eat clean and control your portions
3.) Rely on each other for support

Good advice!  Let's get ready to see some results on the Season Finale next week!

Here are some memorable quotes from the episode- enjoy.

Casual Friday

Who doesn't think hard work doesn't pay off?  All these hours of reality based television watching have payed off:  Someone in "digital PR" has sent me some Casual Friday links for next week's Thintervention!  Subject:  Joe gets schooled by Frau Craig.  Thank you, 360i!



AND. . .Joe is a jerk.  Will he learn his lesson on this Monday's episode?  I'll be tuning in!

5 Questions with Thintervention's Bryan T. Donovan!

Bryan glowing in his last trimester. (courtesy of Bryan T Donovan)

Funny man Bryan Donovan has captured my heart and my blog with his many quotables on Thintervention.  He is seriously funny and has become the leader of the pack with his weight loss.  I asked him to take a little time out of his busy schedule to answer 5 Questions for me.  READ ON to learn about how he feels about his team mates, his fave extreme workout, and his plans for after Thintervention.

FF: In a cage match between Jackie Warner and Jillian Michaels, who do you think would win and why?

BD: I gotta go with Jackie, because I have met her inner warrior, Hank. He doesn't mess around. He has had a few scraps with my inner warrior Ethel, and of course Ethel won, but Jackie is tough. Plus Jackie's balls are enormous and that has got to play a part in fighting til the death, right?

FF: On the first episode of the show, Jackie made you run up and down your stairs with cookies in your hands. Did you eat the cookies after she left?

BD: I actually fu^%&^ the hell out of those cookies, then cried and attempted to hold them, but by then it was too late. Sometimes you just have to let go.

FF: As one of the participants on Thintervention that doesn't kvetch all the time, what is your position on the participants that do? (i.e. Stacy's heavy breathing episodes, being afraid of heights on the pull up machine, Nikki having fat girl knee, etc.)

BD: Stacy should be forced to have her tear ducts removed, Nikki should be taken out to pasture and just left to graze on fermented potatoes and when Jeana's alien leaders allow the real Jeana to return back to earth I'll let you know.

FF: What has been your favorite Extreme Workout on the show? I liked watching you kick butt at the canyon and then having an "intimate" dinner with Jackie and Craig.

BD: Really? Is that a trick question? Hands down, Pussycat Dolls workout. I mean, come on, I am giant homo...Who wouldn't want that? It was like I had died and gone to heaven. I am super excited to be joining the The Pussycats Dolls on tour this summer...OK, that's not true, but a girl can still dream, can't she?

FF: Since this is going into print before the finale, let's say you are still a "Fatty Patty". What is the first thing you want to do when you get super buff and hot?

BD: I'd like to go to the beach and not be harpooned or have Hayden Panettiere show up and try to rally a group to roll me back into the ocean. I'd also like to pose for Playgirl..... or is it Playboy? who knows...

Thintervention with Jackie Warner- episode 6- "Week 6. About time you joined us."

Herr Warner and Frau Craig (zap2it.com)

According to last week's Thintervention, Jeana is moving in with Bryan and Nikki is moving in with Mandy.  "I am moving myself from temptation to oh my God the suburbs," moans Nikki, who orders liposuction right away.  After Nikki marvels at Mandy's full fridge and Bryan grills Jeana about her sweat glands, Bryan states, "Let's get out fat asses to the gym."

Basic training this week is no excuses and balls to the wall.  This week:  Working on the sexy body parts.  Nice butts, nice arms, and nice abs.  Nikki cries.

Everyone is being pushed to their absolute limits.  Mandy is crying, Stacey threatens to puke, Nikki is actually participating.  At the after workout pow wow, Jackie states the importance of being selfish for your own well being.  She also lets the participants know they will be working on finding their own inner sexy this week, complete with a trip down to China Town for some sexy herbs.  HEY THERE SEXY GIRLFRIEND!!!!!

-cue sexy music-

At Mandy's home, Mandy has ordered massages for Nikki and her husband.  Mandy teams up with her hubby's masseuse, prompting him to say, "Every man's dream.  Two Asians."  *shudder*  At Bryan's house, a less sexy air as Bryan opts not to free ball and grills Jeana (again) when she asks him how she comes off to other people.  He tells her she has "an air of superiority" (surprise) and she doesn't get it.  Good night, Miguel.  Good night, John Boy.

The next morning, Bryan wakes up to take Jeana to spin class.  He makes her breakfast, gets her dressed, and makes her sweat for real.  After spin they go to brunch in West Hollywood and meet Robert the waiter.  Is he gay?  Is he straight?  He is an older blond waiter in West Hollywood, but Bryan asks him the definitive gay questions:
1.)  In shoes pink or blue, which would you choose?
2.)  Nascar or gymnastics?

Richard answers blue and Nascar-- he's straight!  Jeana points out "Some gay men have to like Nascar."

Nikki and Mandy go lingerie shopping for Mandy's hot new bod, and then it is time for China Town.  Joe immediately starts acting like a jerk, asking the herb guy for a cure for cankles and then saying Stacey needs it and then interrupting the lady dispensing the medical knowledge.  The herb guy was right on with everyone's assessments, by the way.  Next time I am in LA I need to check him out!

At the extreme workout, the participants meet Jackie at a theatre with Robin Antin, creator of the Pussy Cat Dolls for a sexy burlesque dance workout that can burn up to 500 calories an hour.  Craig works it out with a grand jete, showing he was the Rum Tum Tugger at the Pasadena Play House in his pretrainer days.  Everyone is popping, locking, and grinding.  "It is 1,000% a girls dance.  I love it!" squeals Bryan.

There is a dance off at the end between Shay, Stacey, and Bryan which was seriously hilarious (Bryan in his hot pink satin mini bolero jacket steals the show) and Stacey is declared the big winner.  I burned many calories laughing.

After the workout, Joe and his homies go out to Chez Douche Bag in Hollywood to pick up some hot ladies to get laid.  OKAY- Joe is super repulsive.  He is so conceited and abrasive and jerky, it is a wonder that he can get ANY tail at all.  If any single lady in LA watches Bravo (which is a no brainer) than Joe is not shoring up any sleeping partners for the immediate future.  Jackie goes to check up on him and tries to offer him lady tips--she is Jackie Warner, power lesbian-- and Joe manages to turn off an entire group of girls with his insensitive questions and Spanish skills.  His response?  "It is what it is."  Wee woo.

At therapy, everyone talks about sex or their lack of it.  It's nice to know that Stacey and Joe find themselves attractive enough to themselves to masturbate.  It's also crazy to learn that Mandy's husband rewards her with gifts when she has an orgasm.

Jackie calls Joe out for acting insensitive in China Town and for being a jerk at Chez Douche Bag, and Joe says, "I didn't come out to make seven friends."

Fail, Joe.

Time for the weigh in!

Bryan:  From 240 lbs to 234 lbs- 6 lbs lost

Jeana:   From 167 lbs to 162 lbs- 5 lbs lost

Joe:  From 213 lbs to 211 lbs- 2 lbs lost

Stacey:  From 211 lbs to 206 lbs- 5 lbs lost

Shay:  From 191 lbs to 184 lbs- 7 lbs lost

Mandy:  From 148 lbs to 145 lbs- 3 lbs lost

Nikki:  From 212 lbs to 205 lbs- 7 lbs lost

Jackie points out it took Nikki five weeks to lose eleven pounds and only one week to lose seven- the experiment worked!!!

Next week:  The vacation from hell for all participants.  Fried foods that you can't eat and rowing galore!

AND READ ON FOR MY INTERVIEW WITH BRYAN!!!!

Thintervention with Jackie Warner- episode 5- "It makes me want to eat a cake."

Shay  (poptower.com)

Things are going cuckoo crazy for the cast of Thintervention.  Crazier than Shay's hair?

Crazier!  Jackie knows that not all the cast gets it.  Mandy, Bryan, and Joe are losing weight, getting fit, and really suffering for the show.  Not so much:  Jeana, Nikki, Shay, and Stacey.  Although we have all been thoroughly entertained by their antics (I mean, who cannot just adore Nikki when she is at her meanest?), Herr Warner has reached her tipping point.  So what is a girl to do?

SHOULDERS!  Jackie and Craig work the heck out of some arms during basic training.  "This is hideous," moans Nikki, claiming she has delicate wrists.  Joe sullenly bicep curls in the corner, watching longingly as Jackie spends one on one time with Nikki.  Joe says in his interview that he will give Jackie the "beautiful body" that she wants, not Nikki.  I hope that Joe saw that when he watched the show and cringed.  Just a little bit.

Everyone is in pain at the end of the workout, but Jackie puts the hurt on her rebel bad girls:  Shay and Stacy are not on program because they are skipping meals, Jeana is yessing Jackie to death but not really following through, and Nikki needs to stay home more.

Cut to:  Nikki at home, Skypeing without a care, when Jackie breaks in "unannounced" again.  Doesn't Nikki lock her doors?  She has brought Nikki some healthy foods to make lunch, which they enjoy on Nikki's white furniture.  My mom would be totally flipping out.  Jackie and Nikki have uncomfortable sex talk.  Eek.

Jackie continues her Operation: Shock and Awe with the other participants.  Next on her list is Joe, who is in the middle of remodeling his home by having professional spray painters create a mural in his living room.  Even though he is busy, Jackie reminds him that he wanted to spend more one on one time with her and he says, "When God gives you a bag of muscled up lesbian lemons, you make lemonade."

Lemonade in this case is a grueling boxing workout in the park in the rain.  Mandy and Jeana are also called to participate, and Jeana proves she is not really in it to win it with a pathetic display of boxing skills.

On the other side of town, Bryan finds Nikki in a bar and tries to convince her to be more serious about the program.  Nikki says she doesn't ask for help.  "Confrontation over!"  But she does invite him for a round on her, so that's nice.

Stacey goes to the doctor to check on her PCOS ( he calls her a tortoise) and when Jackie checks on Shay her mom, Kim, swears to Jackie that Shay is on task. 

Jackie wants some honesty here, but not before the extreme workout.  This week is MMA- mixed martial arts.  Bryan sees "five guys boxing--I see one of them is Jackie."  She throws down with the best and urges the others to find their outer warriors.  Bryan is not down with the fighting, and when one of the MMA fighters throws him down, Ethel comes out with a ROAR.  Jackie barely makes it out alive.  BRUTAL.

Even more brutal:  A "fun" clip of Stacey going out on a blind date.  "I have no problem getting men. Trust." assures Stacey, but after watching her blah blah blah and the guy just nod blankly, I do not think this was a match.com.   I did burn calories watching in embarrassment.

On the day of group therapy and the weigh in, Jackie has big surprises.  On to the scale first!

Joe:  From 216 lbs to 213 lbs- 3 lbs lost

Mandy:  From 152 lbs to 148 lbs- 4 lbs lost

Bryan:  From 246 lbs to 240 lbs- 6 lbs lost

Jeana:  From 166 lbs to 167 lbs- 1 lb gained

Shay:  From 194 lbs to 191 lbs- 3 lbs lost

Stacey:  From 212 lbs to 211 lbs- 1 lb lost

Nikki:  From 210 lbs to 212 lbs- 2 lbs gained

Excuses from the peanut gallery:  "How did I do that?"- Jeana, "I can't make sense of it."- Shay, "You think I cheat and I don't!'- Stacey, "Wow.  That's embarrassing."- Nikki

"There.  Is.  Something.  Going.  On."  Jackie says.

Cheat you say?  Why, Jackie just HAPPENS to have a lie detector right behind door number one!  Bryan, Joe and Mandy are exempt from the hot seat.  What did we discover?

Shay lied on calories and on working out to full intensity.  Jeana lied every time they asked if she was telling the truth.  Stacey went over her allotted calories at least three times a week.  Nikki went over 22 cocktails a week.

The only way to fix these Pinocchio's is to take the most extreme measures.  Mandy is having Nikki move in with her and Bryan is having Jeana move in with him.

Sounds like an episode of Three's Company!



Wacky.  Tune in next week for my 5 Question interview with Bryan!  He is CRAMAZING.

Thintervention with Jackie Warner- episodes 3 and 4- "We're fatletes, not athletes." and "You need to start throwing up your food, girlfriend."

You don't get to go out of town and relax without some consequences.  Mine are falling behind on my TV shows that I like to blog about!  Here's two weeks worth of Thintervention with Jackie Warner goodness for your your reading pleasure.

WEEK 3
After the participants lower second week numbers, there is a renewed sense of purpose for some to lose the weight.  Stacy is shooting for 11 pounds (yeah, right) and Joe says, "Five pounds is dropping like Jackie's pants at a gay bar!"

The one person who doesn't feel that sense of enthusiasm is Nikki, who manages to show up not only late but hungover to Jackie's Basic Training class.  As a punishment, everyone else had to stay on the treadmill, spin bike, etc. while waiting on Nikki to get there.  As imagined, everyone was really pissed.  Nikki says she is not well, and Jackie asks, "Does that illness come in a bottle?"  BURN.  Then  Bryan starts to pick on Stacy about her dramatic heavy breathing, Shay starts to get sassy with assistant Craig and then with Jackie. . .
These people are babies!  Walking on a treadmill is not medieval torture!  The absolute most embarrassing moment was when cry baby Stacy was afraid of the pull up machine because she is scared of heights.  GET. OUT. OF. TOWN.

Everyone is out for blood, and Jackie gathers everyone to discuss their anger issues.  She emphasizes the need for them to rely on one another for support, so she tells them they will be having a healthy comfort food potluck at Mandy's house to learn not to tear each other down.

It works at first.  Perky Mandy the perfect wife has quite the spread, including sweet potato martinis, Joe brings his fat man's diet cheeseburgers, and Jeana brings her personal chef to cook her share.  How nice to see the real housewife keeps it real on this show, too.

The pleasant evening begins to unravel when Shay and Joe get into an argument about Shay acting like a DIVA, he tells her to shut up, and boom.  Then everyone calls out Stacy too, and Stacy begs for forgiveness so she can be accepted by the cool kids while crying and whimpering.  Nikki says, "God, not again.  Every time do we have to cry?  Every time, Stacy?"  Somehow the evening turns around and everyone seems to be having a good time.

The good time dissipates at the extreme workout, this week at the Rose Bowl (just like on Money Hungry!).  Jackie informs them that they will be working on a personal sense of victory by running cones, jumping through speed rings, running 100 yards, and as a reward, climbing up the stadium stairs until they drop.  "That's a little excessive," Jeana sniffs.  Jackie promises them they will have a new sense of self if "you know your limits and surpass them".  Nikki immediately cops a plea of "fat girl knee", but Shay and Joe duke it out for final stairs supremacy.  Joe is impressed by Shay's determination and maybe feels bad about giving her such a hard time earlier?

Therapy this week was especially touching.  The participants were asked to bring a picture of themselves from their childhood when they were happy.  Then the therapist asks them to say something mean to the child.  Most of them can't, and the therapist points out that we say mean things to ourselves everyday.  Maybe we should be kind to ourselves like we would be to that little happy kid.  Really excellent advice that I am trying to take for myself.  Nikki, of course, says to her photo, "You're an ugly, fat little girl" and laughs.  The therapist calls her out on being mean (shocker) and tells her that by being so mean to others she is really being mean to herself and treating herself with dismissiveness.  And Joe is told that his obsession with cheeseburgers is equated with happy times spent with Dad.

Minds are blown, and it is time for the weigh in.

Mandy:  From 157 lbs to 155 lbs- 2 lbs lost
Nikki:  From 214 lbs to 212 lbs- 2 lbs lost
Stacy:  From 215 lbs to 212 lbs- 3 lbs lost
Joe:  From 221 lbs to 216 lbs- 5 lbs gained (Jackie, keep your pants on!)
Shay:  From 197 lbs to 195 lbs- 2 lbs lost
Bryan:  From 252 lbs to 249 lbs- 3 lbs lost
Jeana:  From 169 lbs to 168 lbs- 1 lb lost

Jackie is visibly upset with the results of the weigh in and doesn't understand why her plan isn't working for everyone.  But she is "invested" and wants "to see it through".  Plus, she has a TV show to make.  SO. . .

WEEK 4
This episode focuses on real housewife Jeana and her smaller weight loss numbers.  If you watch Real Housewives of OC you know that Jeana is this unattached meanie who dismisses her friends and enemies with a wave of her hand and a sip of chardonnay.  It is no surprise that the other participants on the show don't feel a connection to her--especially with her personal chef and mega mansion.  But I guess Jeana has feelings too, and goes to get a mani pedi with daughter Cara to discuss her weight loss woes.  Cara doesn't believe that her mom isn't cheating on her diet and advises her to start throwing up.  I am sure she's just joking?  Lord.

But enough about Jeana.  For now.  The fatletes meet Jackie and Craig at a park for running drills and kettlebells.  After one lap, Nikki quits.  Joe has ankle issues.  It starts to rain.  Nikki decides to run again and Jackie allows her to run less laps then everyone else.  Jeana walks every time Jackie has her back turned.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?  Jackie seems tough.  I wouldn't want to mess with her.

After the drills, Jackie tells them to meet her at the grocery store for some food lessons.  Jeana heads into the store with a sense of childlike wonder-- like, "So this is where the food comes from!"  Jackie informs everyone what is good and bad:  Cereal as a snack is bad, protein as a snack is good.  Fruit in sugar syrup bad, fresh fruit is good.  I take for granted that my knowledge of good and bad foods is common sense.  I guess it is not.

Jeana decides to go on a sunset dinner cruise with her fabulous cougar friends, sipping champagne and eating coconut shrimp.  Jackie decides to shanghai the trip, calling out Jeana's excuses and not liking her life right now.  She wants Jeana to get to know herself so she knows herself and likes herself.

At the extreme workout, the participants meet at the Orange County Fire Authority to put on fireman suits and try out fireman drills.  "Firemen are hot," coos Bryan along with all the ladies.  Joe states bluntly, "Firemen don't f$&k lazy fat chicks."  I see that togetherness pot luck really helped!

The fatletes sweat and cry through the drills, but Mandy and Jeana win for the day and get to put out a real fire.  After Nikki's behavior during the drills, Jackie surprises her with a hike.  She also tells her she is concerned that Nikki will never change, and asks her to try not drinking for one week.  Hmm.

At the weigh in, Jeana and Nikki are both called out for their selfish behaviors.  Everyone wants Jackie's attention:  You need to be a self absorbed drunk to get it, I guess.  Jackie does admit that if Nikki was a regular (non televised) client she would be pulled from the program because it doesn't seem like she is ready for change.

Is everyone else?  The weigh in results, please.

Jeana:  From 168 lbs to 166 lbs- 2 lbs lost
Bryan:  From 249 lbs to 246 lbs- 3 lbs lost
Nikki:  From 212 lbs to 210 lbs- 2 lbs lost
Shay:  From 195 lbs to 194 lb- 1 lb lost
Mandy:  From 155 lbs to 152 lbs- 3 lbs lost
Joe:  From 216 lbs to 216 lbs- 0 lbs lost
Stacy:  From 212 lbs to 212 lbs- 0 lbs lost

"There is something flawed in this mathematically," Jackie states.  And it is true.  If these people are really staying on program and working out with the intensity she requires, I feel the weight would be coming off, even if it was 1 pound at a time.

Jackie knows that something is wrong.  Next week:  a lie detector test.  Maury Povich would be so proud!

Thintervention with Jackie Warner- episode 2- "I don't want to be paired with any Fatty Patties."

It's crazy that the people on Thintervention are only into their second week and they are already losing steam. Bryan is tired of eating chicken and fish. Shay is dragging her feet while her mom Kim is raring to go. And Nikki shows up to the workout at Jackie's house hungover.

Ready for change, all of them.

Jackie's workout this week is to push everyone until full fatigue. They will run on the treadmills with assistant Craig until they puke and then do power circuits with Jackie. Stacy has a breathing attack that seems forced and annoys the other participants. Then Nikki goes and throws up ("Vomit happens"). Then Shay is overwrought getting off the treadmill. The younger people are having more problems than those in their forties and fifties!

After the workout, Jackie shows everyone how to make her "special" shake filled with goodness. In her demonstration she used Kombucha which is my fave thing in the world and I can't find it now that Whole Foods has stopped carrying it. I was so sad! If anyone reading this knows where I can get Kombucha in the NYC area, please post it below!!!! Here is the recipe for the shake so you can look like Jackie*. *results not guaranteed.

1 scoop protein powder

1 tsp glutamine powder

1 tsp BCAA powder

1 tbsp L Caritine

1/2 tbsp flaxseed oil

1 cup frozen spinach

1 cup frozen berries

Blend it together and have before you workout. "It's not horrible!" said Bryan.

Then Jackie announces the participants will be in teams this week to learn, motivate, and be accountable to each other. Jeana and Mandy, Shay and Stacy, Bryan and Kim, and Nikki and Joe will be stuck together for the week. "Don't roll your eyes, Joe," says Jackie. She reminds everyone that she will be checking in on them throughout the week unannounced.

On Homework day, Jeana and Mandy workout with an Israeli super commando doing mixed martial arts, Kim and Bryan go running, and Joe and Nikki exchange jabs with a boxing session. She calls him a loud, obnoxious ass and he calls her Chris Farley. Good fun. Stacy and Shay spend more time talking and laying on the ground which is how Jackie finds them. She proceeds to grind them into the ground.

Then it is time for the weekly extreme workout. Each team meets at Griffith Park to run a race tethered together while wearing weighted vests. The winners will get dinner at Jackie's house catered by her personal chef. Apparently personal chefs are a regular part of this show.

The older folks beat the younger kids AGAIN (come on younger kids!) and Kim and Bryan win the race! The win is quickly overshadowed by Kim's hand being swollen. She opts out of the dinner to go to the hospital, leaving Bryan to fend for himself against Jackie and Craig and their questions about his weight and his sex life. And can Jackie film him being intimate with his partner with her Flip cam? (Possible plug possibility, Flip company!)

Bad news: Kim's hand swelling is lymphodema due to her lymph nodes being removed from her having cancer. She has to leave the show for her health. At the therapy session, others express their sadness for her leaving and also share about the lack of support in their lives that caused them to have gained weight. Most notable are Nikki and Bryan's stories: Nikki basically raised herself from the time she was 11 years old and Bryan was sexually abused at the age of three. Jackie notes that the cycle of abuse has turned on themselves. Dealing with the emotions will help them deal with the food.

So, how did these teams do at the weigh in?

Bryan: From 259 lbs to 252 lbs- 7 lbs lost

Nikki: From 217 lbs to 214 lbs- 3 lbs lost

Mandy: From 162 lbs to 157 lbs- 5 lbs lost

Shay: From 199 lbs to 197 lbs- 2 lbs lost

Jeana: From 170 lbs to 169 lbs- 1 lb lost

Stacy: From 217 lbs to 215 lbs- 2 lbs lost

Joe: From 220 lbs to 221 lbs- 1 lb gained

Jackie is disappointed by the lackluster numbers and promises that next week she won't be so sweet and will be a hard core bitch. She's been sweet? OH LORD. Watch out everyone.

Thintervention with Jackie Warner- episode 1- "I certainly would never hang out with a chubby queer."

OH MAN. When a weight loss reality show has lines like this one you know it's going to be a very interesting season, indeed. Those gems and many more courtesy of the "bad girl" of Thintervention--and it isn't Jackie Warner.



Meet Nikki! One of the eight folks trying to lose weight and look great. She loves her cocktails, gay men, and is a trust fund baby. She is also my number one reason for wanting to watch this show.

She's got this amazing gravely Aussie smoker's voice and biting wit. A modern day Dorothy Parker if Parker was a "life coach" and reality show participant. If you watch Real Housewives of DC she is a little like the meany British woman on that show--where does Bravo find them?!?

Anyhoo. Thintervention with Jackie Warner is a pleasant surprise in the reality weight loss roster. Gone is Jackie's staff of less than professional and annoying personal trainers (no Rebecca!) and Jackie's drama with girlfriends. Instead we get to see what Jackie does best: Work out. For real.

Jackie and her assistant and Bob Harper look-a-like Craig Ramsay will work with eight clients over seven weeks, then the clients will work on their own for six weeks. They will also meet for weekly therapy sessions and weigh ins. So, let's meet the colorful cast of characters!

Stacy: Age-23; Career-stand up comic; Weight-224 lbs; Body Fat-50%; Goal-lose 50 lbs Stacy is Jewish and blames that and having polycystic ovaries for her heaviness.

Jeana: Age-54; Career-Real Housewife of OC; Weight-174 lbs; Body Fat-27.4%; Goal-lose 25 lbs If you watch Bravo, you know who Jeana is. You also know she has a HUGE house, three not so pleasant children, and a mean ex husband. She also was a smokin' hot Playboy playmate back in the eighties.

Nikki: Age-39; Career-"Life Coach"; Weight-223 lbs; Body Fat-34.3%; Goal-lose 50 lbs Nikki doesn't work, but she is a life coach. She drinks vodka for breakfast and smokes clove cigarettes. She is my favorite character.

Bryan: Age-36; Career-runs independent film company; Weight-266 lbs; Body Fat-35.1%; Goal-lose 60 lbs Bryan has the most weight to lose, and it looks like he has his work cut out for him. He is gay (the chubby queer quote was in reference to him) and wants to look good for his hot partner. He hides sweets all over his home.

Joe: Age-35; Career-event producer; Weight-230 lbs; Body Fat-32.2%; Goal-lose 40 lbs Joe is straight, loves cheeseburgers, and can't close the deal with the ladies. He also picks up women at the airport for sex.

Kim: Age-47; Career-mom; Weight-180 lbs; Body Fat-29.8%; Goal-lose 30 lbs Kim was an athlete in high school and college and was a fitness model. She is the mother of the next participant. . .

Shay: Age-22; Career-daughter; Weight-204 lbs; Body Fat-50%; Goal-lose 50 lbs Shay is Kim's daughter. She loves ice cream and wants to "keep her Beyonce thickness".

Mandy: Age-48; Career-Stay at home mom; Weight-167 lbs; Body Fat-27.0%; Goal-lose 30 lbs Mandy was a pro cheerleader and now spends her time taking baths with her husband and eating food off her kid's plates.

Jackie meets the participants for an initial fitness assessment and then tells everyone their homework assignment is to clean all the sugar from their homes. "FU. How's that?" quips Bryan, the sugar addict. Jackie tells them anything over 5 grams of sugar needs to go. She also gives the participants Blackberrys so she can keep in touch with them. How Hollywood!

Some of the participants like Kim and Shay complete the assignment quickly and easily. Others not so much. Bryan admits he ate two cookies and Jackie makes him run up and down his stairs until he burns off the calorie equivalent of two cookies. Mandy took all of her sugar and made loads of cookies, brownies, and rice crispy treats to feed her kids. Jackie tells her the intent was to show sugar was not okay to use and punishes her by making her run suicide drills.

Jackie also runs the participants through a grueling boot camp style beach workout: Crunches, belly crawls, flipping tires, bicep curls with sandbags. . .and then having to pull weighted buoys in from the ocean. She explains the weight represents what each contestant wants to lose to put it into perspective for everyone.

After the workout, Jeana invites Nikki, Joe, and Bryan over to her home for dinner (from her personal chef no less) where they all chat it up about relationships, being fat, and having sex. What's a Bravo reality show without a little drama? Maybe a possible love connection between Joe and Jeana? Better than going to the airport.

At the therapy session/weigh-in, everyone shares their initial reasons for why they think they are heavy, and Jackie promises every week they will delve deeper into their psyches. . . Did they lighten their load?

Stacy: From 224 lbs to 217 lbs- 7 lbs lost

Bryan: From 266 lbs to 259 lbs- 7 lbs lost

Jeana: From 174 lbs to 170 lbs- 4 lbs lost

Joe: From 230 lbs to 220 lbs- 10 lbs lost

Mandy: From 167 lbs to 162 lbs- 5 lbs lost

Shay: From 204 lbs to 199 lbs- 5 lbs lost

Kim: From 180 lbs to 171 lbs- 9 lbs lost

Nikki: From 223 lbs to 217 lbs- 6 lbs lost

So far so good! The show is entertaining and Jackie seems like a caring and concerned trainer. She gives out good advice like "Cookies are pain" and "Workouts are not painful. They're pleasure." Her diet advice also is sound--low sugar, drink lots of water, lean meats and veggies. She is in ridiculous shape and you know that she worked really hard for that physique. It's also nice to watch a show that isn't about game play or strategy. If you put in the hard work, the results will come. No elimination ceremonies necessary.

Thintervention with Jackie Warner is on Bravo Monday nights. Watch what happens.

Sunday Funday!

Bravo makes it impossible for me to stop watching their shows. That's why I watch reality shows about housewives, house flipping, cooking, and stylists.

Now they join my ranks of reality show goodness with a weight loss reality show- THINTERVENTION with sexy hot Jackie Warner. It starts September 6th! Where? On Bravo. Watch what happens.

OKAY NBC AND BRAVO! Here is my pitch: Get Jackie Warner and Jillian Michaels together for a show called "I Will Kick Your Ass" or "Michaels and Warner". Like a fitness Cagney and Lacey.