Biggest Losers Have Bigger Issues. . .

. . . and not just the beatings from Bob and Jillian, either. I have written about previous Loser Erik Chopin who won The Biggest Loser and gained all of his weight back. I have watched other former contestants yo yo back and forth and I have thought to myself that these shows need to emphasize working on your insides (your brain) as well as the outside chub.



I found this article on The Huffington Post titled "Why Kirstie Alley and the Biggest Losers Will Gain the Weight Back". The author goes under the name A Compulsive Overeater- she has made peace with compulsive eating and goes to Over Eater's Anonymous meetings. Her point in the article is the way they show the contestants and participants on these reality shows eating is NOT normal. Fixating on food all the time, eating the quantity and quality of food that they are eating is NOT normal. Gaining weight that quickly is NOT normal.

I used to be heavier. I weighed over 200 lbs, was a size 18, and am only 5'4". I never am sitting on my pedestal of judgement as a thin person, believe me. When I see the obesity epidemic on all the reality shows I watch, I always wonder what the underlying issue is. I was normal sized until college and I had the "Freshman 15", and then I had some serious issues. I was very concerned that everyone was watching me, judging me, keeping tabs on my waistline and the food going in my mouth (I am an actress, and weight is a BIG issue). I so desperately wanted to be "normal" that I even tried stupid things like Slim Fast, the cabbage soup diet, and Metabolife. I ended up heavier as a result, and started not to care.

"Maybe I am MEANT to be this way," I thought. That freedom of thought led me to gain and gain and gain. I met a guy that didn't care about his health either, who had SEVERE alcohol issues, and he enabled me to get bigger. September 11 happened and I was so scared that I just went to work and home and ate in the waking hours. I didn't feel like being healthy. I didn't feel like being happy. And after my sister passed away almost a year after September 11 (on September 14) I really lost it. I medicated in a big way. After 3 months, I knew I had to change.

My weight came off very slowly. I have been working on it for over eight years, and I always feel like I had to come to an AHA moment before the weight would release. I had to work on the inside, and I AM STILL working on the inside. I am now trying to be happy with the body I have- as my hero Patricia Moreno says, "Live a life that you love in a body that you love right now!"

I know that a lifetime of issues can't be patched up in one season of a reality based weight loss show. These contestants have to look within and see why they got to that point. It isn't just the food. I joke that Jillian Michaels has "mind bullets" that she uses on the contestants to make them see WHY they were so heavy. It is often fear, depression, latent feelings that they were covering up by food that was a friend, that wouldn't judge. I watched an episode of Intervention where the kid wasn't a drug user- he was a food abuser. He was HUGE. When he went into treatment, he came out of the closet as gay. He said he ate because if he was fat, then he wouldn't have to worry about being attractive and no one would know.

It isn't the aesthetics of weight loss that compel me to write this blog and have a career in the fitness industry. It is the ability to reach others and touch them and let them know that they can heal themselves. It isn't about how many squats you can do or how many miles you can run. It is the freedom to release your mind! And the weight will follow. It isn't an easy journey. But it will happen.

I promise. But you have to put the work in. And you have to go deep to get results.

Kirstie Alley's Big Life- episodes 11 and 12- "Fat Like Me" and "Cou-ga-roo"

The number one way to inspire the people around you to lose weight or keep from gaining weight? Fat suits.

You were going to say that, right?

Kirstie notices her team eating Twizzlers and pastries for breakfast and pepperoni loaded pizzas for lunch and wants to warn them about the dangers of excess. First, she makes them put on 40 pound weight vests to do P90x and then she makes them put on fat suits while doing their daily tasks.

Kyle sweats while going up and down the stairs. Lillie can't get into the car and put her seat belt on. Tracy has a hard time fitting into the dresses that she picks out. Kelly can't get in and out of the bathtub.

Bottom line: The team has a new found respect for being thinner and will work towards that goal. Kirstie feels inspired to never be this fat again. Question: If Kirstie loses all the weight will we have to change the name of the show?

On "Cou-ga-roo", Jim is leaving to go to Florida for two months (because he lives there- I still haven't figured out this arrangement) and Kirstie is afraid that he is going to relapse on fast food. So Kirstie and new cast mate Aussie Nick decide to film a funny video to remind Jim to stay on track. While they are filming it there are a lot of actual humorous moments where everyone in the house thinks that there is some sort of romantic involvement between Kirstie and Nick.

Example: Kirstie and Nick are in the kitchen eating breakfast, both wearing bathrobes. True and Lillie are sitting at the kitchen table and overhear Nick say to their mom, "I tackled that thing like my life depended on it."

Everyone breathes a sigh of relief when Nick and Kirstie reveal their video to Jim and the gang and they realize they they weren't shagging. The video is cute and shows Nick in various sexual positions that are also workout poses that Jim can try with his wife. They also make a sign for Jim to wear around is neck that says "If found at a fast food restaurant, please return to Kirstie Alley."

The final weigh in of the season reveals that Jim has lost 43 pounds, going from 324.5 to 281.8. Kirstie has lost 31.4 pounds, weighing in at 198.6. You burn a lot of calories living the Big Life. I don't know if there will be a second season, but I am hoping that the show does return a little slimmer and more focused. I like these folks. I just want to know what is going on, that's all!

Kirstie Alley's Big Life- episode 10- "As Seen on TV"

I'm a sucker for a good infomercial. I own a Firm Fanny Lifter, a Fluidity dance barre- I own a Magic Bullet. If it looks cool I want it! Looks like infomercial fever is also catching at Kirstie's house. Jim and Kirstie are getting bored with their workout routines and are desperately looking for ways to shake things up.

Jim is wearing an ab belt. I didn't think anyone would actually pay money for these things, especially because it is proven not to be effective. Jim is a bigger sucker than I am. He shows Kirstie the belt, earning the nick name "Robobelly", which earns Kirstie an electric shock when she sticks her finger between the belt and the belly. The ab belt opens a Pandora's box of gadgets: An ab roller, Perfect Push Ups, neckline slimmer, the infamous Shake Weight, cross country ski shoes and poles. Jim even has sun glasses that you wear when you eat so that your food looks bad. For real?

Sounds like Kirstie and Jim need some real motivation. Cut to Kirstie watching one of my all time fave infomercials- P90X! I watched the ad about a million times before I finally bought it. I am a P90X grad (holler!) and a Beachbody Coach, so I know what is up with the X. "That's what you're supposed to look like!" Kirstie says while watching. "It looks hard," says Jim.

Yes, Jim. It's hard.

One of the many benefits of being Kirstie is that P90X inventor and super trainer Tony Horton actually comes to your house. In anticipation of his arrival, Jim gets abs spray painted onto his ample belly. He ends up looking like a Mayan fertility statue. He does show off his "ripped 8 pack" to Tony, who encourages him to put his shirt on half way through the warm up. Tony is just like he is on the videos- goofy, warm, and kick ass. I know that Kirstie and Jim will see results if they decide to stick with it!

As Kirstie says in a completely unrelated part of the episode, " Fear is a great motivator." I smell their fear with the X!

Oh, and there is a new cast member, Aussie Nick. But true to an earlier blog post, he is not in the exercise part of the show. Sorry, mate.

Kirstie Alley's Big Life- episode 9- "Preparation K"

No fitness on the show this week, so I decided to list the activities Kirstie and Co. did that may have burned calories. Sorry, Kirstie. I love lemurs, but this is a fitness blog!

1. Running to prepare for evacuation from a fire.



2. Getting stuck in a tree.



3. Making an animal scrapbook.



4. Wrestling animals.



5. Performing animal CPR and first aid.



6. "martial arts" taught by Jim.



7. Lowering animals in carriers out a second story window.



8. Fishing.



9. Staging a fire.



10. Camping in your backyard.

I checked out Kirstie's show website, because I wanted to see if I was mistaken on thinking this show was about weight loss. This is the direct quote:

"A&E presents "KIRSTIE ALLEY'S BIG LIFE™," a new real-life series that chronicles the extraordinary life of Golden Globe and two-time Emmy winner Kirstie Alley from her journey with her weight loss program to her life as a single mother trying to raise two normal teenagers in the Hollywood spotlight.

Many people remember Kirstie as a Romulan-Vulcan officer in Star Trek II, a sexy Emmy-winner as Rebecca Howe in “Cheers,” the star of blockbuster films Look Who’s Talking and Drop Dead Gorgeous and of course, for her star turns in “Veronica's Closet” and “Fat Actress.” For three decades Kirstie has been making headlines and staying in the forefront of the American conscience. Now, she’s granting her fans unprecedented access inside her life…and what a life it is.

“This show has been cathartic for me...shown me who I really am...again,” says Alley, “And it’s really freaking funny.”

The series also chronicles Kirstie’s comedic and unique take on her battle with weight loss, which coincides with the launch of her new weight loss company. She's also producing a feature film, patenting multiple inventions, working hard to raise two normal Hollywood teenagers, True and Lillie, taking care of her many animals, and on top of everything, looking for love…nothing like a little pressure. "

Soooo. Hmm.

Kirstie Alley's Big Life- episode 8- "The Way We Weren't"

True to form, since this episode was the second half of two 30-minute blocks, this one was a little more focused on weight loss.

A little more focused.

Chubby Buddy Jim starts the episode working out with trainer J.T. on the pilates reformer (which is a wow moment), proving that pilates IS indeed hard. When Jim goes to check in with Kirstie, he is sniffling and sneezing. Kirstie uses her deductive reasoning skills to determining that Jim is 1.) Fat 2.) Under the weather. She puts Jim to bed in her bed (wha?) and takes his temperature: 101.6 degrees. Jim is officially out of commission.

Juggling Jim, household duties, and her own son proves to be quite the task. True is an engaged 17-year-old who is in high school and an aspiring rocker. Kirstie gives him the task of finding a gig in one week to prove he has the goods to be a husband. I know, I don't really understand the reasons either. How about getting a regular job? Or living off your mom? That house is huge!

True tells his band mates his mother's plan, and off they go in search of a venue that will accept them on short notice. They literally get laughed out of The Key Club, The Roxy, and The Viper Room. Clue: one of the band mates suggests they should change their band's name to T-Rex. True wisely knows that T-Rex is ALREADY a band. Hello!?! Glam rock? Someone needs to go back to rock n' roll high school. Props to True for knowing that.

Meanwhile, Jim is intercom interrupting every single aspect of Kirstie's day to ask for reading materials and scented candles. When he starts to feel better, Kirstie asks him what really is the matter. In Scientology, they believe that sickness comes about from having bad feelings. Jim admits he feels neglected as Kirstie's Chubby Buddy and Kirstie admits she usually neglects men. So they recommit to one another. Jim participates in Kirstie's Indian dance class ("We looked like those cartoon ballet hippos") and Kirstie ACTUALLY goes hiking. AND SHE LIKES IT!

On the True front, he and his band mates book a gig at The Cat Club, and they get their big break! Total money earned: $43. Split 3 ways. But it is a step in the right direction. His band is not bad, and True has a pretty good voice. I don't know why, but he kinda looks like John Travolta. I'm just sayin'. . .I'm just sayin'. Here's a clip!

http://www.aetv.com/kirstie-alleys-big-life/video/?bcpid=68096874001&bclid=78477008001&bctid=78476558001&baseURL=/bcconfig/Player/3Tier/KirstieAlleyBigLife/config-xml/&baseDIR=/bcplayers/Player/3Tier_ws/baseDIR/

I am still waiting for the show to focus more on Organic Liaison and Kirstie's weight loss. . .

Kirstie Alley's Big Life- episode 7- "They Tried to Make Me Go to Twee-Hab. . ."

One 30-minute episode? How blissful! Not that I don't want the two episodes, but sometimes the blog fairy blesses me because she knows that I have to study and clean house and I don't have all day to spend on the computer.

Another person that spends too much time on the computer? Kirstie. A self-proclaimed "cyberwhore", Kirstie's fingers are "as fit as fiddles" because she spends so much time Twittering. So much so that it is starting to effect all the people around her. For example, assistant Kelly is single. Kirstie is constantly on her to find someone. So what does she do? Puts the description of Kelly's ultimate match on Twitter with HER PHONE NUMBER. Her real live phone number! Within seconds, Kelly's phone starts to ring with random randy men who want to chat.

When Kirstie's trip to the spa end up in the National Enquirer with true facts that only someone on her team would know, she sends apprentice Kyle into the house to uncover the mole. The mole is Kirstie: All her tweeting is giving the tabloids plenty of information that they can use.

Kyle reveals this information to Kirstie at a Twittervention. He reveals that her "twats" are effecting the house negatively. Kelly got over 200 calls from random guys and a picture of someone's junk. Now she has to get a new phone. Ashton Kutcher, number one tweeter, has 5,000 tweets: Kirstie has over 14,000. Jim claims Kirstie is more committed to tweeting than being his chubby buddy and working out. She forgot to pick up True from the mall, and Lillie says her mom would rather be on the computer than spend time with her.

Her family and staff challenge her to be Twitter free for one week.

Day 1: Sex talk with Lillie. "Do you need any help in that area?" Lillie says no. Kirstie says if she has any questions she can ask her. Or Kelly. Or a prostitute.

Day 2: Make overs! Kelly gets a make over and then has to man hunt at the local dog park with Kirstie and Kyle. "You guys are dicks," she states.

Day 3: Gay Lightsabers with Tracy. Stylist Tracy and Kirstie realize they don't have anything to talk to each other about other than clothes. Kirstie tries to get onto Tracy's computer to check her Twitter account and she mysteriously has no internet access. Kirstie then goes to see Magdelana to play Frisbee. The Frisbee gets thrown into the Lemur cage.

Day 4: Hang with Jim. Kirstie watches Jim skim the pool. She pushes him in. "I know where you sleep," he splutters.

Day 5: Pick up guys with Kelly. Kirstie makes Kelly pick up guys at the grocery store with classic pick up lines like "What cereal do you like?" and "Getting some honey?" DUD.

After one week without Twitter, Kirstie's team realizes that she has way too much time on her hands. They insist she gets back on Twitter as soon as possible. "Ah, Twitter. . ." she sighs.

No talk of weight loss this week. Maybe that would have been in the second 30 minutes? Still trying to figure out what it's all about, Alfie.

Kirstie Alley on Late Night With David Letterman

David gets to the bottom of what's wrong with Kirstie. It's all about Leptin and Twittering.

Kirstie Alley's Big Life- episode 5 and 6- "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" and "Jimmy Pig"

I feel like I'm beginning to understand The Big Life. The first episode generally focuses on Kirstie and her staff. The second episode usually focuses on the weight loss. So it's something for everyone. At least each episode is only 30 minutes! What a relief from every 2 hour very special episode of The Biggest Loser that I follow.

Episode 5 focuses on Kirstie's BIG staff. She calls everyone into the kitchen for a meeting, and there are about 15-20 folks. My mom asked why did she need so many people? Good question. Kirstie says she is a busy gal, but not too busy to job swap with her staff for the week. She wants to show them that she can do their jobs better than they can because at some point in her life she has had a job like theirs. How hard could it be to stop twittering?

Monday-Magdelena

Kirstie was a housekeeper before she rocketed to stardom, so this task is in the bag. Housekeeper Magdelena makes an excellent Kirstie with a long blond wig and white house dress. And a heavy finger on the intercom button. Kirstie tells her apprentice Kyle about her early adventures while she cleans and is constantly interrupted by Magdelena's "Kirstie" requests to make lunch, do laundry, and keep cleaning the rooms all at the same time. "By the time this week is over I'm going to kill myself," Kirstie realizes.

Tuesday- Jim

Kirstie swaps places with slovenly chubby buddy Jim, who looks fetching in Kirstie's house dress. Jim's duties include lugging that huge tree that he left in the last episode and donning waders to unclog her pond. She and Kyle suffer through the task, only to have Kirstie fall into the putrid water and fill up her pants. Kyle worries they may get e-coli.

Wednesday-Kelly

The first part of their switch involves them making fun of each other's appearance. Kirstie for being too fat and Kelly for biting her nails and not having a boyfriend. You know, like how friends do it. Then Kirstie has to learn to operate a Blackberry and return calls, answer emails, go over paperwork, meet with the Organic Liaison team. . . Not as easy as she thought.

Thursday- Jack and Maddie

Someone has to take care of Kirstie's zoo. Today it's Kirstie and Kyle. They are on poop patrol. It's like it sounds.

Friday-Tracy

Being a stylist sounds easy, but when you have to lug a ton of outfits up a long driveway and many stairs only to have your client insult all your choices and then make you iron everything makes it seem not as easy. "I will never be a stylist. It's the worst job," Kirstie moans.

Overall, she and Kyle felt like they learned a lot from her merry band of men (and ladies) and she thanks them all for their hard work in making her big life run as smoothly as possible, or in her words, "My life that has expanded more than my ass."

Massages for all! Kirstie kneads Jim's belly like soft dough, which leads us to episode 6 entitled "Jimmy Pig".

Kirstie is busy putting the finishing touches on her weight loss line. Maybe she hasn't noticed Jim hasn't been keeping track of every calorie. Leave it to Jim to get busted: When turning in receipts for reimbursement to Kelly, she finds a receipt for Burger King. He swears it isn't his.

Time for some detective work. Knowing that Kirstie is nervous about promoting her line on the Oprah Winfrey show, Kelly and Kyle take matters into their own hands and put a hidden camera in Jim's car to catch him.

Meanwhile, Kirstie meets with Jim to show him the online component of her site which includes a food journal. Jim assures Kirstie that he is in it to win it and they can trust each other to win this losing battle.

Kirstie meets with Bart Simpson's voice Nancy Cartwright to record some voice overs for the cartoon characters on Kirstie's site. It reminds you what a talent Nancy is. It also reminds me that being a voice over artist is still on my bucket list (call me!). Kirstie's Organic Liaison site looks as fun and colorful as the actress. If it works or not is yet to be determined. . .

Kelly and Kyle bust Jim on hidden camera going through a drive through for burgers not once but TWICE in the same trip. They decide to bring their findings to Kirstie's attention. Kirstie is pissed that Jim isn't taking this endeavor seriously- this is her big comeback! When she confronts him and shows him the tape, he gets really angry and walks out. At least he burned some calories.

The next day Kirstie and Jim make up and reaffirm their commitment as chubby buddies. We discover that Jim is only 36 and is on blood pressure meds and has a family history of heart disease: He needs this not just so Kirstie doesn't look bad, but for his life. After they shake on it, it's time for a last chance workout with J.R. and off to Chicago.

I didn't watch Kirstie's product launch on Oprah, but they show it in brief. She looks lovely. I don't know if Oprah is going to try it or not. After the taping family and friends gather together to say congrats and good luck on the site. Now it's out there- who's gonna try it? Will it work? I'll keep watching to find out.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Kirstie Alley's Big Life- episodes 3 and 4- "Oh, Rats! It's My Birthday!" and "Swimming in the Rain"

After watching the third and fourth episodes of Big Life, I am a little confused. Is the show about weight loss? Is it about Kirstie's relationship with her family and staff? Is it about Organic Liaison, the weight loss supplements that Kirstie is promoting? They haven't shown up on the show YET, but I have a feeling they will pop up soon. Check out the website, it's kinda cute.


Let's just say that the show is a bit about everything.


In episode three, Kirstie's assistant Kelly and her children True and Lillie are planning a surprise birthday party for Kirstie. The big surprise is if they can get the Travolta family to attend. I keep forgetting that Kirstie did "Look Who's Talking?" with John Travolta a billion years ago- I love that movie! Bruce Willis as the voice of the baby Mikey? Priceless. I digress. Kirstie has been taking private salsa lessons at home, and her kids want her birthday to be salsa themed. Kelly leaves the kids in charge of the guest list (what?) and the birthday cake.



Meanwhile, chubby buddy Jim is losing a battle against some cute and cuddly RATS that keep terrorizing the Alley estate. Kirstie refuses to let Jim exterminate them. They keep releasing the rats into the "wilderness", only to have the same rodents returning again and again. When Jim goes to release a rat in the park, he is so out of shape that he leans against a sign post in front of Kirstie's house and just let the rat run free into a neighbor's yard. Problem solved.



Jim is then rewarded for his hard work by going with True and Lillie to pick out and sample birthday cakes for Kirstie. And by sample, I mean that the kids tasted while he looked on longingly. That's an improvement over the Jim I saw last week with a big ol' burger in his mouth.



Birthday morning, Kirstie is greeted by her loving family and some balloons, and True promises her a quiet day and dinner at the Sizzler. Trainer J.R. gives Kirstie "chocolate and flowers": His muscled frame in a pair of skimpy speedos and a big bouquet of flowers. After a pool workout (Kirstie wears a long sleeve shirt and pants in the pool), she and Jim clean up and have a nice lunch with family and friends.



Later that night, True and Lillie load Kirstie into a white Hummer stretch limo (to her embarrassment) and end up at El Cid Salsa Club. Kirstie is surprised by all her close friends, and the Travolta's make an appearance. John shows us his smooth dance moves (he really is good!) and he and wife Kelly give Kirstie a really pricey looking necklace. She blows out the candles on her cake, wishes for something- maybe world peace- and the party ends.



After turning down cake at her party, I was surprised to see her sneaking a piece from her fridge. I was happy to see it was only for the rat. Lucky rat.



Episode four was more weight oriented. Kirstie is frustrated that Jim always loses more weight than she does, so she vows to lose weight at a ritzy spa resort with her ladies and apprentice Kyle. She leaves Jim to fend for himself, but he has the advantage of having J.R. there to work him out.



It's officially on.



At the spa, Kirstie takes dance class, cooking class, gets massages and manicures, and tops it off with an early morning hike that she threatens to quit. At home, Jim works out with J.R., pulls branches out of the pool, and hangs out with True and housekeeper Magdalena.



When Kirstie arrives home, it is time for the weigh in. So who won? Kirstie lost 6 pounds. Jim? He lost 9 pounds. But her nails DO look nice.



One moment that I wanted to write about was between Kirstie and her daughter Lillie. Kirstie is worried that her crazy relationship with her body has poisoned her daughter's view of her own body. She apologizes to her for being a bad example. This moment struck a chord with me because I have always hated my body. I am getting to a healthy point in my life where I am learning to love myself, but it took me YEARS to overcome my negative mindset. I was raised in a family where personal appearance was king, and "gentle" ribbing about what you looked like was okay. I thought I was fat my WHOLE life. When I look at photos of me as a kid, I wonder why my folks were so concerned- I was little and cute, not chubby at all. Their over concern led me to think I was heavy, and it became a self fulfilling prophecy by the time I got to college.



It made me realize that I want my sons and daughters to love the way their bodies are- to be strong and fit and healthy- and not worry about tummies and eating a second helping if they are truly hungry and not making them feel badly about it. It was wise of Kirstie to take a look around and see if there was any collateral damage from her struggles with weight. I hope other parents do the same sort of damage control.



Her Big Life seems to be getting smaller. . .one stone at a time.

Kirstie Alley's Big Life- episodes 1 and 2- "The Tipping Point" and "Good Help is Hard to Find"

I love Kirstie Alley. I loved her on Cheers, I loved her as Pier One spokeswoman, I loved Fat Actress, I loved her as Jenny Craig weight loss wonder and superstar. I think she is lovely whether she is little tiny or she is big and curvy- I mean, really people. When you are pretty you are pretty no matter what size you are. Needless to say, I was thrilled to see she was giving reality TV a try (score!) and star in a show that showcases her life as a fat lady. Not "circus fat" (her words, not mine) but just fatter then she was when she lost the 70 some odd pounds on Jenny Craig.

Clearly she won't be shilling for JC again. And as Valerie Bertinelli has shown you can keep the weight off. Fingers crossed, Jason Alexander! So what is the point of The Big Life?

As the title of the first episode shows, she has reached a tipping point in her life. Kirstie should have stock in US Weekly and The National Enquirer because when she is on the cover she sells magazines. And not because she has a hot new movie coming out or a new book: It's because she was thin then she was fat then she was thin again and then she was fat again. She is currently fat. And she wants to change, but she knows it will be hard and she needs help.

The first show introduces her support team: Lillie and True, her teenage kids who love their mom and want her to be happy and fit. And they are totally willing to call her out when she is being lazy. Kelly, her longtime assistant whom Kirstie states would totally get a date if she would just brush her hair. Kyle, her "apprentice" (I don't know what that means, but I think he is just another assistant) who came all the way from Kirstie's home state of Kansas to work for her. He taught her how to Twitter. Tracy, her stylist who finds all those long flowing twirly gowns that she likes to wear. And JIM. Jim is a handy man who is based in Florida- and I don't know why he is there "working" when he lives in Florida- and is Kirstie's "chubby buddy". If over 300 pounds makes you chubby.

Kirstie also has a menagerie of animals- cats, dogs, lemurs (think Madagascar). I think I saw a bird cage in there. It's a literal zoo.

With this "wacky" cast of characters set, where does the weight loss come into the equation? The episode shows Kirstie trying to pick out a New Year's Eve dress, but she stops when the paparazzi (also a major character) take a picture of her while she is sitting in her back yard that is incredibly unflattering. She decides not to go out, defeated. Her assistants are going out on the town, but have to be back to work at 5 AM January 1st to weigh Kirstie for her newest weight loss endeavor.

From what I can ascertain, Kirstie has some new weight loss product that she is going to be using during the show. She has also roped in Jim, her "Jimmy" pig for testing the products. Kirstie is going to need some serious motivation- this episode showed her working out for about seven minutes before she quit.

On New Year's Eve, she has a dinner "date" with Jim, where they swap stories on how they gained the weight. Kirstie is very candid about her old methods of losing weight- snorting coke and smoking cigarettes- and that she has very bad habits. When she stopped doing drugs she never stopped eating, hence the weight gain. Jim is shown eating monster fat food burgers (I meant to type fast but I like the mistake. It's fitting, no?) so we know why he is heavy. He says after he got married he sort of gave up because there was no more reasons to stay fit.

The next morning is "the moment of truth". At 5 AM she gets on the scale with Kelly and Kyle looking on. She weighs in at 230 lbs. "Is it over 180?" she asks. "Just a smidgen," Kelly lies. Kirstie decides she wants her weight in stones, and she is 16 stones wanting to lose 6.4 stones. Or 90 pounds for us non British people.

"The truth hurts," Kirstie sighs.

On the second episode, Kirstie enlists her assistant Kyle to find a personal trainer for herself and Jim. And they need that motivation, because Jim doing jumping jacks may be one of the funniest things I have watched in a while. Kirstie has an at home gym, kind of like a Curves set up, but let's be honest. They are pretty half-assed exercisers. Even the Wii is kicking their butts. And Jim, if you are reading this? Don't wear shoes on the Wii balance board. :)

Kirstie states that she hates trainers, but Jim knows the only way they are going to do this properly is to get someone to get them to really push themselves. Not anyone too Jillian, but not anyone too new age fruity.

Kyle brings in a motley crew of PT choices: From Stephen who looks like a pedophile to Dallas who may have been a man at some point, things look bleak until J.R. walks in. Tall, dark, and made out of muscle, Kirstie seems immediately drawn to him and his methods. And his ripped abs. In a somewhat awkward conversation, Kirstie hires him. . .but tells him she isn't used to being around black people. "Aren't you friends with Oprah?" he asks. She laughs (the whole time she has been sitting next to her stylist Kelly who is black) and all is right with the world.

J.R. comes in to give Kirstie and Jim a fit test. Let's be honest- J.R. has his work cut out for him. There is a lot of grunting, groaning, and complaining and this is only the beginning. THE EASY LEVEL. But J.R.'s philosophy is simple: "Hard work is hard muscles." He establishes his client's goals: Kirstie wants to weigh between 130-140 pounds and Jim wants to weigh 195.

I think Kirstie has the fire. Of course, the next morning at 5 AM she tells Kyle to let her go back to sleep and if J.R. calls to not answer. But she is a fighter, that Kirstie Alley. I know she will succeed. Just after she wakes up.