5 Questions with Phillip from VH1's Money Hungry

In celebration of the finale of Money Hungry, I reached out to one of my fave contestants, Phillip from Team Flabulous, for an awesome 5 Question interview.  Phillip was the funny, game playing, scheming, microphone wielding contestant who ruled with a fierce iron fist and could "pop n' lock like a Pussy Cat Doll".

Read on!

FF: We know that you ran the house. How important was playing the game and how many hours a day did you spend scheming?

PL: Playing the game was very important. Just as much as working out. I might of spent an hour or two a day scheming in between my three hours of working out. I did workout on the contrary of what others may have believed! I knew I could be in the bottom at any given challenge so I knew it was two things I always had to do: Workout in the gym and workout in the house scheming and controlling the vote. It is exactly what I did until I left the Money Hungry house.

FF: The Money Hungry mansion is on fire. Who do you save: Dan, Richard, or that giant stuffed hamburger?

PL: At first I want to save the stuffed hamburger but then I remember how heavy it is and that would be too much like working out. I then think to save Richard but he would then make the escape from the house a full hour-long workout so I leave him too. I then save Dan! He can crack me up and tell me all the stories of people ragging on him for changing the pronunciation of his last name. Classic.

FF: Where did that microphone come from and why did you bring it?

PL: I bought it from the dollar section at Target. It was actually something that Stephanie and I bought to entertain ourselves while we were being sequestered before filming of the show started. Who would of thought that it would become such a special part of my Money Hungry Journey! You can check out the microphones very first appearance on YouTube called Phillip Gone Bad. That is when our love affair began.



FF: Your partner, Stephanie, is a beautiful girl. Would you ever want her to date (Money Hungry contestant)Josh?

PL: Hell No! She is amazing inside and out and she deserves someone who loves her just the way she is! Josh is not that guy! #POW

FF: Who's going to win and who SHOULD win this damn thing?

PL: Well I thought Regulators had it in the bag but as you see from the finale last night Mission Slimpossible took it all! All three teams in the finale worked very hard over the whole competition and deserved to be there. Well that is because I allowed them to be! Just kidding. Mark and Joe worked hard and as much I hated their mafia boss mentality on the show, they won fair and square. I just want to say congrats to everyone on Money Hungry for taking a stance to change their lives! I will never forget any of them.

And we will never forget you, Phillip.  Here is a picture of Phillip before and Phillip now as the DIVA he is.  I will always have him in my heart as a reality show sooper star!!!

Money Hungry- THE FINALE!!!- "This is for all the marbles."

After 10 "weeks" of fierce competition, we have made it to the season finale of Money Hungry.  It is between Mission Slimpossible, Grading Curves, and The Regulators to take home the $100,000 grand prize. 

So how are they gonna get there?

Every group is tired and exhausted.  Mark from Slimpossible is seeing spots, Po and David feel like they have been through "three college football games in a row", and Grading Curves is hoping to use their pain for their own gain.  It is time for the final challenge!

"House Blend" star Dan Cortese greets the contestants and promises the final challenge will be the toughest one yet.  The contestants must ride big tricycles, pick up big puzzle pieces, put the puzzle together, take the number that is on the puzzle, run one mile down the road, open a box with the number combination, take out the contents of the box, and then run back the mile across the finish line.  The winner will become the Big Heavies, win their $10,000 back, and secure their place in the final weigh in.  The losers will have to compete in a secondary weigh off  to see who will compete against the Big Heavies.  Sounds easy.

The teams start out strong, but it hits a rough patch when Tricia from Grading Curves hits a nasty curve with her bike.

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Doesn't she kinda sound like that lady who smashed her face while she was grape stomping?

Trust me, it hurts me more to watch it than you think.

Despite the injury, the other teams must continue the race.  And what is inside those locked containers?

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Mission Slimpossible takes the win, gets their $10,000, and readies themselves for the finale.  The Regulators head to the gym.  Missy works out alone and waits for Tricia to come back from the hospital.  What happened to Tricia?  "Prognosis:  I'm screwed."  She cracked the top of her tibia.  Ouch.  But being injured severely doesn't stop her from coaching Missy and trying to work out while she is in her wheelchair.

At the pre weigh in weigh off, does Curves muster enough to beat the mighty Regulators?

Grading Curves:  From 433 lbs to 429 lbs- 4 lbs lost- .93% BW

The Regulators:  From 718 lbs to 707 lbs- 11 lbs lost- 1.53% BW

So the final girls team says goodbye and hobbles away, but not before Mission Slimpossible gives them their check for $10,000.  Which was already made out to The Grading Curves.  What?  What makes me think that this was a producers decision?  Dan tells the final two teams they have seven days before their final weigh in, but Slimpossible will need to weigh in first.

Mission Slimpossible:  From 422 lbs to 427 lbs- 5 lbs gained- +1.18% BW  MORE GAME PLAY!

From day 1, Slimpossible has lost 15.94% and the Regulators have lost 16.82%.  It looks like the Regulators have a slight lead.  Will they be able to turn it out?

The teams go into fierce battle with each other, dragging their mattresses into the gym to sleep, running in fields and mountains, splitting logs, and chasing chickens.  You know, the usual.  It is then time for the ultimate weigh off.  Joe calls it "a combo of Super Bowl Sunday and New Year's Eve".  Joining them are their families and their even cuter children, who say adorbs things like, "Mom, stop crying.  It's live television!" (Mark Jr.).  The teams come out for the reveal, well dressed and clean shaven.  You can actually see some weight loss going on!

And now for the drum roll, please. . .

The Regulators:  From 850 lbs to 692 lbs- 158 lbs lost- 18.59% BW
Po lost 70 pounds and Dave lost 88 pounds.

Mission Slimpossible:  From 508 lbs to 406 lbs- 102 lbs lost- 20.07% BW
Joe lost 46 pounds and Mark lost 56 pounds.

Mission Slimpossible wins!  Maybe they took the money and gambled it, but I do know that they opened a new bar in Staten Island called The Fat Boys Lounge.  Any indicator they gained it all back?  Now I gotta meet their star bar tender, Chrissy Shakers!

Congrats to the teams for getting healthier, too.  And read on for my EXCLUSIVE 5 Questions with Flabulous Phillip!!!

Money Hungry- episode 9- "Once it's ours we'll have fun touching it."

I couldn't help but notice that Money Hungry is categorized as "reality/health" on my TV's channel menu.  One out of two is not bad.

We are down to the final four!  Mission Slimpossible, The Regulators, Slenderellas, and Grading Curves are in the running for the final $100,000 prize.  What are they going to do with all that money?  Slimpossible says they are going to take it to Vegas and gamble.  The Regulators will use it to get out of debt.  Everyone is mad at Slimpossible for being so cocky-- but they are professional gamblers.  I mean, c'mon.

It is time for this week's challenge!  "Rock me, baby" star Dan Cortese meets the contestants on a bridge covered with cars.  Name of the challenge:  Spare Tire.  The contestants must run through a maze of cars, in them and around them, to get to a stack of spare tires.  They must grab the tires and run back through the maze and put the tires in the trunk of a van.  Whichever team gets all their tires and the trunk door shut first wins and gets to be the Big Heavies and gets a guaranteed spot in the finals.  Engines ready?

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Grading Curves win and Tricia gets a goose egg on her noggin from over excited partner Missy and a trunk door.  Mission Slimpossible cries and wails, asking for a photo finish.  Curves still takes the win.  The Regulators are the last team to finish and now must worry about who will be voted in with them in the bottom.  Will it be Slimpossible or the Slenderellas?

There is a lot of drama on whom should vote for whom.  The Slenderellas try to convince Grading Curves that they should vote out one of the guy teams so a big competitor is eliminated and a female team has a better chance at the win.  Curves don't trust the Slenderellas, and go to Mission Slimpossible to tell them that maybe they should vote themselves in.  The Regulators want to vote for the Slenderellas because they can beat them and Mission Slimpossible has been playing the water gain game.

All that worry translates to more time in the gym and more camera time for Trainer Richard and his molded plastic abs.  It's like 300 under that shirt, people.

After a creepy bubble bath between Joe, Jackie, and Kaitlin, it is time for the house vote and the weigh in.  Who is going against The Regulators and who will be in the finals with Grading Curves?

Grading Curves:  From 436 lbs to 433 lbs- 3 lbs lost- .69% BW

Regulators:  From 735 lbs to 718 lbs- 17 lbs lost- 2.31% BW  Now there is some concern. . .

Mission Slimpossible:  From 443 lbs (but water gain so really) 438 lbs to 422 lbs- 16 lbs lost- 3.65% BW  If they were voted in then it is curtains for The Regulators!  Dan reveals they were not voted in, which means they didn't vote for themselves.  "We'll never vote for ourselves!"  Grading Curves is pissed.

Slenderellas:  From 549 lbs to 540 lbs- 9 lbs lost- 1.64% BW  Their numbers are not great enough to beat the mighty mighty Regulators, and they are sent home.  Kaitlin did take away something great from the program, and realizes "it's time to live!"  I sure hope she sticks with the program because she seems like a great, funny girl.

Next episode is the big finale and the winner will be crowned the hungriest.  It looks like it will be BRUTAL!

Money Hungry- episode 8- "How far can you throw Phillip?"

The Money Hungry household is pissed at Flabulous Phillip.  He is a worse waffler than John Kerry- he voted against it before he voted for it.  No one seems to trust him, and Phillip must find a way to keep his place in the household so he can keep the $10,000 that his grandfather fronted him to enter the competition.

Maybe he will win his team immunity at this week's challenge?  "The Lottery" star Dan Cortese meets the contestants at the beach with some huge cakes at his back.  Slenderella's Kaitlin can barely contain her craving and struggles to listen to the rules of the contest:  "Layer Cake" requires the teams to disassemble and reassemble large weighted fake cake pieces.  Whoever completes the task first will be this week's Big Heavies.  Dan explains there will be no other immunity given by the Big Heavies, so anyone can be up for elimination.

"This is a piece of cake," says Phillip.

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Unfortunately it wasn't, and Mission Slimpossible became this week's Big Heavies and Flabulous is in the bottom.

Now it is time for the politics of the week.  In between three, count 'em, three whole workouts with Trainer Richard (he has to be freaking out with all the air time), the remaining teams struggle to figure out who should be in the bottom with Flabulous.  Flabulous wants to compete against the Slenderellas because their journeys have been so similar:  Kaitlin is to Phillip as Jackie is to Stephanie?  Phillip does not want to go against the Regulators or Grading Curves, so he convinces them to both vote for the Slenderellas.  But then Mission Slimpossible finds out that maybe the Curves aren't going to vote for The Regulators (who's weight loss would surely send Flabulous home) and they remind them they are still a part of The Orphange.  And The Regulators remember that the Slenderellas are a part of The Family.

You can see how this can be very confusing.

At the weigh in, it isn't certain who will be going against Flabulous in the bottom.

Mission Slimpossible:  From 446 lbs (but since they gained water weight) really 438 lbs to 443 lbs- 5 lbs gained- + 1.14% BW  They are immune, but will all this water weight game play back fire on them?  Dan reminds them that the ultimate winner of the entire game will have the greatest percentage of body weight loss.

Flabulous:  From 595 lbs to 593 lbs- 2 lbs lost- .34% BW  Phillip loses 2 pounds and Stephanie loses 0.  Oops.  Joining them in the bottom two?

Grading Curves:  From 452 lbs (but since they gained water weight) really 450 lbs to 436 lbs- 14 lbs lost- 3.11% BW  SAFE

The Regulators:  From 747 lbs to 735 lbs- 12 lbs lost- 1.61% BW  SAFE

Mission Slimpossible is annoyed that Curves didn't vote their way, but. . .

Slenderellas:  From 558 lbs to 549 lbs- 9 lbs lost- 1.61% BW  Voted in, but their weight beats Flabulous.

So Flabulous is heading home this week, and it is sad because I will miss how funny he is and his crazy flip floppin' weighs.  I mean ways.  Stephanie actually blamed herself for the loss--which is nuts--and they say a tear filled goodbye to the house.
"I'm not doing ugly cry," Phillip says.

So it's four teams left between here and the finale.  I am rooting for The Regulators because they seem to be the ones who really want this the most.  I imagine Mission Slimpossible will not make it easy--and sorry Grading Curves, I don't want it to be you all!  They are so mean!  Can you imagine if they were your teachers at school?  FAIL.

Money Hungry- episode 7- "I need to Jazzercise my ass off."

No Excuses have just let the door hit their heinies on their way out of the Money Hungry household and there is no time to exhale. EVERYONE IS UPSET WITH EVERYONE. Stephanie is upset with Phillip for screwing up their relationship with The Family (where was she last week?), Double Chocolate and The Regulators are upset with the Slenderellas for playing them, and everyone is mad at Flabulous for playing both sides.

And I thought Phillip ruled this house.

No time to celebrate No Excuses departure, Grading Curves ("Karma is a bitch, Josh!")! It's time for this week's challenge.

"I hope it's physical--not mental," moans Dave as they head to the Rose Bowl to meet "Surviving Suburbia" star Dan Cortese. This week's challenge: TAKE THE STAIRS. Meaning take team colored footballs (100 of them) up the stadium stairs and place them in the team colored ball receptacles. Then take the regulation size football and run across the football field to win. That's a whole lotta stairs.

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Mission Slimpossible takes the win and Double Chocolate ends up in the bottom two AGAIN after another ball handling mishap like the very first challenge. Now that Mission Slimpossible holds the power of immunity, who will they award it to?

Because everyone's alliances are all crazy, all the contestants are starting to step it up in the gym. Trainer Richard looks so excited it just breaks my heart. Who's gonna tell him that no one really cares about the working out and that they are just scared of being voted off by their own stupidity?

Then it is time for the weekly drama session. The Slenderellas remind Slimpossible that they were to give them immunity if they voted off No Excuses. Slimpossible doesn't remember saying that. . .and besides, they are besties with Grading Curves. But Slimpossible will consider it--which sends the Curves into a tizzy. The Slenderellas can't go back to The Family where no one trusts them. And then Flabulous Phillip opens his mouth and lets it slip that he didn't vote for No Excuses last week. OOPS.

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Add to that that this week's immunity was given to Grading Curves by Slimpossible and it is all very confusing. Basically Flabulous, the Slenderellas, and The Regulators could all be in the bottom based on everyone's wacky game playing.

Everyone is a little on edge at this week's weigh-in, especially Double Chocolate who have no idea who they are going up against.

Mission Slimpossible: From 438 lbs to 446 lbs- 8 lbs gained- +1.83% BW (Immunity- and they finally admit that they drank A LOT of water to gain the weight. But the rules of the show state they have to go by their last weigh in before they gained. So there isn't any point. This isn't The Biggest Loser, gang.)

Grading Curves: From 450 lbs to 454 lbs- 2 lbs gained- +.44% BW (Immune and drinking the same Kool-aide.)

Double Chocolate: From 415 lbs to 409 lbs- 6 lbs lost- 1.45% BW And who will join them?

Slenderellas: From 572 lbs (Had to go from their previous week since they gained weight while immune. . .so really 567 lbs) to 558 lbs- 9 lbs lost- 1.59% BW

Flabulous: From 603 lbs to 595 lbs- 8 lbs lost- 1.33% BW

Regulators: From 747 lbs to 747 lbs- 0 lbs lost- 0% BW

So WHO got the most votes? Dan reveals that Flabulous is safe, the Regulators are safe, and the Slenderellas had the most votes--but their numbers were greater than Double Chocolate's. So the luscious Chocolate sisters are heading back home.

Now the house is in complete upheaval. . .and Phillip is not running it anymore. Is it over for Team Flabulous? Hand me the mic. . .

Money Hungry- episode 6- Loud Mouth, Microphone

"How the f*&k am I going to bedazzle a Jello filled microphone?" moans Flabulous Phillip at the beginning of this week's episode of Money Hungry. The microphone in question is the chordless mic that Phillip carries around with him everywhere he goes (the bf pointed out that Phillip is so lazy he can't even bother to raise his voice on his own). The Jello in question was made by Mission Slimpossible-- they stuck the microphone in a blender full of Jello and then hanged it in front of the door so Phillip wouldn't be able to miss it. Phillip rants and raves, still feeling the sting of not being granted immunity in last episode's weigh in ceremony by The Regulators.

Also upset? Slenderellas. Both Flabulous and the Slenderellas are out for blood, and are thinking of shifting their loyalty from The Family to The Orphanage. Phillip goes to Mission Slimpossible and Grading Curves, vowing that he will vote in the house vote whatever way they want him to vote (what about his teammate Stephanie?) as long as they don't vote for him.

The drama takes a break long enough for this week's challenge. "Everybody Wants to be Italian" star Dan Cortese greets the teams at a football field dotted with team colored sacks. The teams must grab the sacks relay race style, then unwrap the puzzle pieces inside and build the puzzle to win. Sounds easy enough. Whoever wins will be this week's Big Heavy.

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It was brains over brawn this week, I guess. Slenderellas are the first female Big Heavies, vowing they will use thier powers for good and will most definately assign immunity this week. In last place are The Regulators-- puzzles are not their cup of tea, obviously-- and they are now up for elimination. They decide to hit the gym in one of the most lackluster workout sequences ever witnessed on a weight loss reality show.

Everyone else decides to play the game and figure out who will be going up against The Regulators in the house vote. This flow chart I created will try to explain what the hell is happening.

Flabulous talks to Mission Slimpossible and Grading Curves==>Mission Slimpossible and Grading Curves talk to each other==>Mission Slimpossible talks to Flabulous to convince them to vote for No Excuses==>Mission Slimpossible talks to Grading Curves about talking to Flabulous==>Mission Slimpossible talks to the Slenderellas about voting for No Excuses==>Flabulous talks to Slenderellas about voting for No Excuses==>Flabulous goes to The Regulators to tell them that the Slenderellas are voting with The Orphanage for No Excuses==>The Regulators talk to the Slenderellas about them voting against The Family==>The Regulators warn No Excuses==>No Excuses and The Regulators agree to vote for Grading Curves

Easy, right?

At the house vote, the Slenderellas reveal they have given Flabulous immunity, leading to Phillip declaring that "I RUN THIS HOUSE!" So, who has everyone voted for this week?

Slenderellas: From 567 lbs to 572 lbs- 5 lbs gained- +.88% BW (immunity)

Have lost 43 pounds since the show started.

Flabulous: From 606 lbs to 603 lbs- 3 lbs lost- .50% BW (immunity)

Have lost 49 pounds since the show started.

The Regulators: From 773 lbs to 747 lbs- 26 lbs lost- 3.36% BW The bar is set!
Have lost 103 pounds since the show started.

Double Chocolate: From 417 lbs to 415 lbs- 2 lbs lost-.48% BW SAFE

Have lost 36 pounds since the show started.



Mission Slimpossible: From 447 lbs to 438 lbs- 9 lbs lost- 2.10% BW SAFE

Have lost 70 pounds since the show started.




Grading Curves: From 457 lbs to 450 lbs- 7 lbs lost- 1.53% BW NOT SAFE

Have lost 52 pounds since the show started.




They are tied with No Excuses! Can they turn it out?



No Excuses: From 579 lbs to 577 lbs- 2 lbs lost- .35% BW NOT SAFE

Have lost 66 pounds since the show started.




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No Excuses can't compete with The Regulators MONSTER weight loss. It is sad because it was under Josh's tutelage that they did so well. Josh cries and Melissa weirdly smiles and they leave hand in hand.



Mission Slimpossible and Grading Curves are totally jazzed that No Excuses are heading home. But what did Josh do to everyone? Josh- if you are reading this (and I know you are), answer me!!!

Here is a pic that Josh sent to me of him and Melissa now! Yay Twitter!

I made note of what everyone has lost this far because it is PATHETIC. C'mon, VH1. Just once I would love you to have a reality show that really shows real weight loss. These people and their lives depend on it.

Money Hungry- episode 5- A Valuable Lesson

SO. . .I thought that when A Pair of Nuts was gone that that was going to be it. I mean, I know they have their own website and YouTube channel and all that jazz. I meant I wouldn't have to watch them anymore. I turn on Tosh.0 this week and lookie who's on there!

I hope they know that Gayo is a high fat food.

The Family-- comprised of The Regulators, Double Chocolate, Flabulous, No Excuses, and the Slenderellas-- now have the upper hand in the house over the quickly diminishing Orphanage. But instead of focusing on the weight loss, The Regulators are starting to notice that their band of misfats (Huh, misfats? Pretty good!) are resting comfortably on their plus size laurels and depending on their alliance to get them through. Especially the VERY lazy Phillip. The Orphans realize they need to leave it all in the gym, so Mission Slimpossible, Chicago Deep Dish, and Grading Curves spend most of this episode recumbent on bikes and getting elliptical.

Trouble maker Josh has a whole 'nother issue to think about besides losing weight and keeping his mouth shut long enough not to get eliminated: He now has a crush on Flabulous Stephanie. The barrier to true love is his "just friends" partner Melissa who likes Josh. Supposedly. Melissa, I don't see it! But Josh says it's so. Heck, he is the self proclaimed "cutest guy in the house". Being cute leads to all sorts of problems (believe me, I know. :) ) and Josh discovers that "Women complicate things. I wish this house was filled with ugly women." Because then he would really be focusing on that weight loss, right Josh?

Before that question can be answered, it is time for this week's challenge. The contestants are driven to "a motherf*&kin' cookie shop" says Phillip to meet "Locusts: the 8th plague" star Dan Cortese. Their challenge: to hold a tray of cookies the longest. Each cookie has a 1 1/4 pound weight underneath it. The teams must decide who will hold the tray and who will possibly eat cookies to lighten the load. Regulators Po decides to eat all 12 of the cookies so teammate Dave only has to hold an empty tray. None of the other competitors are willing to eat so much, and none of the other competitors can hold their trays as long. Dave wins, Po pukes, and they are crowned this week's Big Heavies. Dan explains there is a catch this week-- No house vote. That means no alliances. Only Dave and Po can choose one other team to join them in immunity. The rest of the teams must actually lose weight to stay in the house. I hope it was worth the 3,600 calories eaten.

Back at the house, Josh is feeling tongue tied and gooey around Stephanie, so Po and David offer him some dating tips and tricks like ladies like to feel small and make physical contact. Josh decides to go the old school route but stupidly tells his partner that he is going to order Stephanie flowers. Now is teammate is pissed and doesn't want to work out.

But work out she must: The teams all meet Trainer Richard at the beach for some boot camp in the sand. Phillip is lazy and mouthy as usual, choosing to flap his mouth instead of his arms and ends up spending much of the time on the sidelines. He isn't afraid to just flat out ask for immunity from the Regulators, either. He claims he deserves to be there. I like him being there because he is funny, but not because he is losing weight or inspiring others. He carries around a fake plastic microphone and does a great sea lion impression! What's not to love?

Phillip's request is a snow ball effect for the other teams who all plead their case to The Regulators as to why they should stay. The Regulators are confused as to who they should chose, and when it comes to the immunity vote they still have no idea who they should pick.

Meanwhile, Josh does order flowers. And gives them to Melissa for being a great partner. Now they make it to the gym before the weigh in commences.

At the weigh in Dan reveals that The Regulators chose no one for immunity because they didn't feel anyone in The Family was taking the weight loss seriously and they wanted a level playing field. Everyone is pissed, especially Flabulous and the Slenderellas. So how did everyone stack up?

The Regulators: From 780 lbs to 773 lbs- 7 lbs lost- .90% BW (immune)

Grading Curves: From 467 lbs to 457 lbs- 10 lbs lost- 2.14% BW

Mission Slimpossible: From 456 lbs to 447 lbs- 9 lbs lost- 1.97% BW

No Excuses: From 590 lbs to 579 lbs- 11 lbs lost- 1.86% BW

Double Chocolate: From 422 lbs to 417 lbs- 5 lbs lost- 1.18% BW

Slenderellas: From 572 lbs to 567 lbs- 5 lbs lost- .87% BW

Flabulous: From 609 lbs to 606 lbs- 3 lbs lost- .49% BW

Chicago Deep Dish: From 419 lbs to 417 lbs- 2 lbs lost- .48% BW

Dan points out that "it IS about the weight loss" (what?) and by a sliver of a percentage point the Deep Dish ladies lose the weigh in and another team from The Orphanage is sent home. Dave and Po are happy that The Family was sent a message. . .but by the looks of next week's clips it doesn't seem like Phillip is going to forgive and forget.

Josh finally tells Stephanie he like her, giving her one flower out of Melissa's bouquet. Love in the air? I would show it but VH1's site is being dumb and I can't upload any videos. Lucky for us Money Hungry comes on about 50 times a week. I'm sure you can catch it.

Money Hungry- episode 4- The Family vs. The Orphanage

When Josh signed onto Money Hungry with his "just friend" Melissa (What a chatterbox! Does this girl every shut up?) he probably didn't see the s$&t storm he would create when he fell for plus size model Jamie and changed his vote to the ladies of Grading Curves. They are a vengeful lot, those Curves. Josh begins this episode just wanting to stay safe for another episode!

I don't blame him. Have you seen the guys on this show? They are big and their mouths are even bigger.

Regulators David and Po worked last week's vote to their advantage, creating a new alliance in the house to break up the dreaded "Orphanage". "The Family" consists of the Slenderellas, Double Chocolate, No Excuses, Flabulous, and The Regulators. Their motto: "Family first. . .and stay humble." "The Orphanage" is now made up of Chicago Deep Dish, Mission Slimpossible, A Pair of Nuts, and Grading Curves. Five against four. I like those odds!

After David breaks for a quick poo, it is time for the weekly challenge. "Volcano: Fire on the Mountain" star Dan Cortese meets the contestants at the pool for a swimming challenge. "This is good s&#t people," he says. There are team colored balls floating in the pool, 16 for each team. The balls must be grabbed, swam over to a team's grid, and attached to the grid on the bottom of the pool. Whichever team gets all their balls on their grid first is eliminated. The final team will be crowned this week's Big Heavies and will have immunity. The first team eliminated will be on the chopping block at the weigh in.

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The mighty Nuts are the first to be eliminated, followed by Flabulous, Mission Slimpossible, Grading Curves, and Deep Dish. All of the Orphans are out! The Regulators are chosen to be the last team standing and become the BIG HEAVIES!

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Mission Slimpossible begins to scramble for a way to keep themselves out of the bottom two with A Pair of Nuts. They try to recall a gentleman's agreement they had with the Regulators the first week when they each told each other they wouldn't vote for each other. The Regulators feel the deal dissolved when Mission Slimpossible threatened to have them eliminated last week.

So much drama you are probably wondering how anybody has anytime to lose weight. Trainer Richard wants to change things up at the gym and brings in a hip hop dance instructor (Phillip is pissed that it isn't Lady Gaga) to shake things up. The gauntlet is thrown by Joe-- he serves Phillip in a mother f'n dance off.

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After Joe has been fully served, Mission Slimpossible is feeling miffed that no one seems to like them anymore. They decide to take out their aggressions in the gym. . .but that leads to them bumping into Po "by accident" and a HUGE argument ensues between Slimpossible and The Regulators that makes the producers have to step in. The show's producers. It does sound like the name of another team though, doesn't it?

Mission Slimpossible decides that they are going to pack up their toys and leave. . .and return 15 minutes later. No one can call them quitters! David feels bad that he flew off the handle and forms a shaky truce with the Slimpossibles. But will this new found camaraderie ruin all the hard work that the Regulators have put into "The Family" during the house vote? They give immunity to Double Chocolate (whew): How will the other teams size up?

The Regulators: From 781 lbs to 780 lbs- 1 lb lost- .13% BW (immune-what a game play move!)

Double Chocolate: From 423 lbs to 422 lbs- 1 lb lost- .24% BW (immune- C'mon!)

A Pair of Nuts: From 516 lbs to 500 lbs- 16 lbs lost- 3.10% BW A huge bar has been set! Will the Nuts be able to stay together another week? Or will they be snipped from the contest?

Slenderellas: From 574 lbs to 572 lbs- 2 lbs lost- .35% BW- SAFE

Flabulous: From 614 lbs to 609 lbs- 5 lbs lost- .81% BW- SAFE

Deep Dish: From 423 lbs to 419 lbs- 4 lbs lost- .95% BW- SAFE

Grading Curves: From 467 lbs to 468 lbs-1 lb gained- +.21% BW- SAFE

Dan announces that both No Excuses and Mission Slimpossible received votes, leading Joe and Mark to launch into an expletive filled rant. "I'm f'n livid!" shouts Joe.

No Excuses: From 595 lbs to 590 lbs- 5 lbs lost- .84% BW- SAFE Which means that. . .

Mission Slimpossible: From 475 lbs to 456 lbs- 19 lbs lost- 4.0% BW

. . .A Pair of Nuts is going home! "Nuts--out."

Mission Slimpossible vows to send everyone home. I am still wondering how these folks that really need to lose the weight are losing any at all. Their numbers are so small. . .maybe I'll learn next week?

Money Hungry- episode 3- "Roommate Traitor Filthy Pig!"

Remember when everyone in the Money Hungry household was friends? Yeah. That's all over now.

After a tense elimination that sent the Roll Models home, "The Orphanage" (Mission Slimpossible, Grading Curves, A Pair of Nuts, and Chicago Deep Dish) kick out No Excuses since team member Josh didn't vote against the Roll Models. Grading Curves calls Josh a "roommate traitor filthy pig" and Josh decides to sleep in Roll Models Jamie's empty bed. Wee woo.

Head of "The Orphanage" is Mission Slimpossible's Joe who has taken control of the reins and is basically bullying all teams to vote for No Excuses for not following orders. Joe's new nickname? The Godfather. They really like naming themselves on this show.

But this show is still about weight loss, right? Right. The teams meet Veronica's Closet star Dan Cortese for this week's challenge called "Chubby Chase". The offended teams who chose to be on a reality weight loss show called Money Hungry make a face and Dan quickly soothes them with a "I don't name 'em, I just explain 'em." The teams are tethered together and must run around a track trying to catch the team in front of them and pull off the team's flag while avoiding the team behind them who is also trying to get their flag. Sound confusing? Here's a clip sponsored by McDonald's. The irony isn't lost on me.

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Mission Slimpossible are this week's Big Heavies and Flabulous is on the chopping block. Not the winner this week: All the breasts that don't have a proper sports bra- including Phillip's breasts.

Back at the house Rocker Mom Carrie reveals she has strained her hip flexor, A Pair of Nuts is in cahoots with Mission Slimpossible, and The Regulators don't take kindly to Mission Slimpossible telling them who they need to vote for. In fact, Po overhears "The Orphange" sitting in the hot tub talking smack and realizes that anyone that isn't in "The Orphanage" is going to be set up to be eliminated each week. Have I mentioned we are 23 minutes into the show and no one has worked out yet? I did spot the contestants eating some oatmeal. No Extra Sugar Free Gum or Lanacane Chaffing plugs.

After a commercial break, the contestants are FINALLY in the gym with trainer Richard doing some boxing and the injured Rocker Mom Carrie is having to find alternatives to her usual (I don't know what it was) workout like the rowing machine. Flabulous Phillip is feeling unmotivated to workout because it is such a struggle to compete against the other "fitter" contestants. He calls his grandfather who fronted the $10,000 for him and his pal Stephanie to be here and listens as his grandfather tells him that he is in the hospital AGAIN for congestive heart failure. Phillip is only 24 (!) and is already on the same path. The conversation is a wake up call and motivates him to pick up the pace.

On the drama front, Mission Slimpossible gets wind that The Regulators don't want to be bossed around, so they tell No Excuses Josh that they are going to vote for The Regulators instead of No Excuses. Josh runs and tells The Regulators, who get really pissed, and The Regulators talk to the outsiders (Double Chocolate, Slenderellas, Flabulous, and No Excuses) into voting for a member of "The Orphanage". Their choice? The newly hobbled Rocker Moms. If Mission Slimpossible loses one of their core alliances, they will lose their stronghold on the votes and voters.

At the house vote, Mission Slimpossible gives immunity to A Pair of Nuts. But who will be joining Flabulous in the bottom two at the third elimination ceremony?

Mission Slimpossible: From 484 lbs to 475 lbs- 9 lbs lost- 1.86% BW (immune AGAIN)

A Pair of Nuts: From 525 lbs to 516 lbs- 9 lbs lost- 1.71% BW (immune-and one funny joke this week!)

Flabulous: From 624 lbs to 614 lbs- 10 lbs lost- 1.60% BW The bar is set! Who's joining?

Deep Dish: From 428 lbs to 423 lbs- 5 lbs lost- 1.17% BW- SAFE

Slenderellas: From 581 lbs to 574 lbs- 7 lbs lost- 1.20% BW- SAFE

Double Chocolate: From 427 lbs to 423 lbs- 4 lbs lost- .94% BW- SAFE

Grading Curves: From 476 lbs to 467 lbs- 9 lbs lost- 1.89% BW- SAFE

The Regulators: From 799 lbs to 781 lbs- 18 lbs lost- 2.25% BW- SAFE (Mission Slimpossible states they were never really on the chopping block- they just wanted to scare them.)

No Excuses: From 607 lbs to 595 lbs- 12 lbs lost- 1.98%- Not Safe

BUT Dan reveals that there was a tie between No Excuses and The Rocker Moms and since No Excuses percentage of body weight was greater than Flabulous, they are SAFE. GAME PLAY!

Rocker Moms: From 456 lbs to 450 lbs- 6 lbs lost- 1.32% BW- Not Safe and not enough weight lost to beat Flabulous.

The Rocker Moms are rockin' back to Texas, and "The Orphanage" is broken up. Now there are some new sheriffs in town- "The Family". Mission Slimpossible and A Pair of Nuts have some serious Regulators to deal with. I get the feeling it won't be pretty.

Money Hungry- episode 2- Friends! Best Friends!

These weight loss reality shows always start out so well! Everyone loves each other! They are all in it to win it and nothing can stand in their way! No Excuses team member Melissa says "That's not going to change, no matter what!"

Cut to the first challenge day.

MTV Sports Dan meets the contestants at the top of a valley. At the bottom, 6-feet tall team colored balls. At the top of the other side of the valley, a finish line. Dan tells the team that losing weight is a "constant climb. . .a Sisyphean challenge." *crickets* Chicago Deep Dish's Bridget says "Did he say syphilis? I didn't sign up for that."

Sisyphus in mythology was a king who was condemned to forever roll a rock up a mountain without ever reaching the top, by the way.

Dan explains the rules of the game: The contestants must run down the hill, grab their ball, roll the ball up the hill and across the finish line. The winning team will be named the Big Heavy and will gain immunity for themselves and for one other team of their choice. The team in last place will be on the chopping block. "It's not a challenge, it's a death wish," says Roll Models' Jamie.

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The teams start strong, but midway up the steep incline it is apparent that this is a bigger challenge than they all anticipated. Everyone is starting to fade, but one team is a clear winner and pulls ahead- A Pair of Nuts. They take the win and this week's immunity. Flabulous Phillip is dead last and looks like he is going to lose it for his team member Stephanie when the skies open up and a strong gust of win blows Double Chocolate's ball back down the hill. Phillip waddles past the finish line with some "assistance" from No Excuses' Josh (Josh runs down to greet Phillip and says "We can do it together!" and Phillip refuses to take his hand) and Double Chocolate's fate is sealed in the bottom two.

Dan then announces a TWIST: There will be a house vote to determine the other team joining Double Chocolate in the bottom two. After a montage of every team saying "THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!" the teams decide to spend some time in the gym. Double Chocolate wants to make sure they beat whoever is voted opposite them and everyone else. . .well, everyone else is starting to flap their gums with some serious game play.

There have been some strong bonds formed between A Pair of Nuts, Mission Slimpossible, No Excuses, Grading Curves, and Chicago Deep Dish. The team they hate? Roll Models, especially Jamie, who spends most of her time Jazzercising and flipping her hair. "Her face already looks like puke to me," says Grading Curves Tricia. OUCH. No Excuses Josh is listening to the hating, but feels conflicted: "Why not get rid of someone who poses a threat to me?" Plus he really thinks Jamie cleans up well.

Jamie overhears the Regulators talking bad about her, so she begins her campaign to keep her team in the house by using the only thing she can- her feminine wiles. She climbs into the hot tub full of large, sweaty, and hairy men to flirt with them. After they tell her they are married or have girlfriends, she goes with the sympathy route- her team member Shante just lost her grandmother (ok, her husband's grandmother, but who is paying attention?) and she starts the tears.

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Josh knows the house is not thinking strategically, so he launches a full on campaign against Grading Curves. The Rocker Moms tell Grading Curves, and the Curves confront Jamie full on.

Now would be a great time to mention that the teams haven't done very much working out this week. Except for Double Chocolate. I did see trainer Richard working some people out on the row machine. Does that count? How many calories does talking bad about other teams burn?

The house vote is held to determine who will be going head to head against Double Chocolate, and A Pair of Nuts reveal that Mission Slimpossible will be joining them in immunity. So how did everyone stack up this week?

Dan greets the teams for the elimination ceremony, and he asks about the house vote and everyone hating on Roll Models. "Jamie is a little annoying!" offers Deep Dish's Bridget. Everyone agrees. . .except Josh. Who would have thunk that sweet little Josh was such a major game player? Someone has watched a couple of seasons of The Biggest Loser! Josh could be the new Koli.

Back to the weigh-in:
A Pair of Nuts: From 529 lbs to 525 lbs- 4 lbs lost- .76% BW (immune- and game playing!)
Mission Slimpossible: From 485 lbs to 484 lbs- 1 lb lost- .21% BW (immune- pathetic.)

Double Chocolate: From 438 lbs to 427 lbs- 11 lbs lost- 2.51% BW They have set the bar- now what team has been voted in to compete against them?

Slenderellas: From 594 lbs to 581 lbs- 13 lbs lost- 2.19% BW- SAFE
Regulators: From 816 lbs to 799 lbs- 17 lbs lost- 2.08% BW- SAFE
Flabulous: From 631 lbs to 624 lbs- 7 lbs lost- 1.11% BW- SAFE
Rocker Moms: From 465 lbs to 456 lbs- 9 lbs lost 1.94% BW- SAFE
No Excuses: From 619 lbs to 607 lbs- 12 lbs lost- 1.94% BW- SAFE
Deep Dish: From 439 lbs to 428 lbs- 11 lbs lost- 2.51% BW- SAFE

The final two teams are Grading Curves and Roll Models. Dan reveals that one team got 5 votes and one team got 6 votes. After a "Holy S%$t" montage, Curves is surprised that the vote wasn't 11 to 1. Very surprised, indeed.

Grading Curves: From 490 lbs to 476 lbs- 14 lbs lost- 2.86% BW- SAFE
Roll Models: From 457 lbs to 446 lbs- 11 lbs lost- 2.41% BW- Not safe and not enough to beat Double Chocolate.

So Roll Models rolls out in a flourish of eyelashes and jazz hands. Double Chocolate is safe to fight another day. Josh is left heart broken. . .and he has to deal with the repercusions of playing the game.

God, I love this show.

Money Hungry- episode 1- MEET THE CONTESTANTS

As I said before during Bridal Boot Camp and Celebrity Fit Club, I don't know how much real life learning about weight loss there will be on a weight loss show on VH1. It's all about fun: It's not going to be a tear fest like The Biggest Loser. That being said, I think I am in for quite the ride on Money Hungry, a fabulous new weight loss show where the contestants put up $10,000 of their OWN money to compete. You lose, you get nothing. You win, you get $100,000.

Like The Biggest Loser, the contestants are in teams of various colors, they compete in challenges, they have a trainer (Richard Cascioli- he may suffocate you with his biceps), they all live together and train together. Unlike Loser, the contestants have an alcohol closet and team names (I love!).

They come from all walks of life, from meeting at fat camp to being mother and daughter. They are all very heavy and need to lose the weight. Nothing funny about that, but somehow the show has cast some of the biggest characters around that are a lot of fun to watch. So, let's meet them! (Warning- this post has some lists going on. Bear with me.)

Team: "Family Sized"- mother and daughter

Starting weight: Denise- 252 lbs Katie- 371 lbs Combined weight- 623 lbs

Team: "No Excuses"- just friends (what does that mean?)

Starting weight: Melissa- 289 lbs Josh- 354 lbs Combined weight- 643 lbs

Team: "Grading Curves"- teachers

Starting weight: Tricia- 193 lbs Missy- 309 lbs Combined weight- 502 lbs

Team: "Rocker Moms"- moms (very complicated. . .I know.)

Starting weight: Carrie- 256 lbs Beth- 220 lbs Combined weight- 476 lbs

Team: "Slenderellas"- friends from Fat Camp

Starting weight: Jackie- 213 lbs Kaitlin- 402 lbs Combined weight- 615 lbs

Team: "Roll Models"- plus size models

Starting weight: Shante- 229 lbs Jamie- 249 lbs Combined weight- 478 lbs

Team: "Mission Slimpossible"- gamblers

Starting weight: Joseph- 243 lbs Mark- 265 lbs Combined weight- 508 lbs

Team: "Double Chocolate"- friends (and yes, they are ladies of color)

Starting weight: Georgette- 249 lbs Tammy- 202 lbs Combined weight- 451 lbs

Team: "Flabulous"- friends (and Phillip is SUPER GAY.)

Starting weight: Stephanie- 216 lbs Phillip- 436 lbs Combined weight- 652 lbs

Team: "Chicago Deep Dish"- travelers

Starting weight: Marilu- 260 lbs Bridget- 200 lbs combined weight- 460 lbs

Team: "A Pair of Nuts"- a comedy duo (correction: the world's most unfunny comedy duo)

Starting weight: Yamil- 278 lbs Johnny- 266 lbs Combined weight- 544 lbs

Team: "The Regulators"- bouncers

Starting weight: Po- 383 lbs Dave- 467 lbs Combined weight- 850 lbs

There are all the usual trappings of a reality weight loss show: spirited host (MTV Sports' Dan Cortese- remember him?), lots of fights between team members trying to motivate themselves and hating on each other, and lots of drinking and puking. WHY IS THERE DRINKING ON A WEIGHT LOSS SHOW?!?!? Puking leads to the wrong kind of weight loss, ya dig?

There is also some working out. As far as diet and nutrition, the only eating that is shown is the last supper of fried foods and crap. Somehow, the contestants did lose some weight. At the final weigh in, the loser was determined by the least amount of body weight lost.

Chicago Deep Dish- From 460 lbs to 439 lbs- 21 lbs lost- 4.57 % BW

Mission Slimpossible- From 508 lbs to 485 lbs- 23 lbs lost- 4.53% BW

Roll Models- From 478 lbs to 457 lbs- 21 lbs lost- 4.39% BW

Regulators- From 850 lbs to 816 lbs- 34 lbs lost- 4% BW

No Excuses- From 643 lbs to 619 lbs- 24 lbs lost- 3.73% BW

Slenderellas- From 615 lbs to 594 lbs- 21 lbs lost- 3.41% BW

Flabulous- From 652 lbs to 631 lbs- 21 lbs lost- 3.22% BW

Double Chocolate- From 451 lbs to 438 lbs- 13 lbs lost- 2.88% BW

A Pair of Nuts- From 544 lbs to 529 lbs- 15 lbs lost- 2.76% BW

Grading Curves- From 502 lbs to 490 lbs- 12 lbs lost- 2.39% BW

Rocker Moms- From 476 lbs to 465 lbs- 11 lbs lost- 2.31% BW

Family Sized- From 623 lbs to 612 lbs- 11 lbs lost- 1.77% BW

So mother and daughter Family Sized are the first to go. Dan Cortese tells them that this is "just a starting point. Don't stop now."

I don't know how many days there were between the initial weigh in and the final weigh in. The numbers seemed low compared to the other shows that are out there. How many hours a day do they work out? What are they eating? Why is trainer Richard so veiny?

These questions and others I hope to uncover over the course of the season. One thing I do know is the show will be a ton of fun. (Get it? Ton? Sigh.)

VH1- Why are you so awesome?

I was feeling lost, alone, afraid. Losing It ended this week, as well as Bridal Boot Camp. Biggest Loser doesn't start until the fall.

WHAT AM I GOING TO WATCH TO FILL THIS VOID?!?!

Thank you VH1. While watching the finale of Bridal Boot Camp I saw an ad for this show.

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Hosted by Dan Cortese (Cortesey? Since when?), this is not yo' mamma's weight loss show. I know if I had $10,000 of my own bucks on the line I would be working SO hard to lose the weight. It starts August 2nd- I am so there.

Bridal Boot Camp- SEASON FINALE: "I'm going to have to ask Jesus for help here."

VH1 brilliantly put the last two episodes of Bridal Bootcamp together for a one hour mega episode! Since the show only had eight 30 minute episodes, it was a good thing they only did it one time. . .otherwise, the show would have been over in three weeks.

We have reached the finals! Bridal Team Blue is represented by Amberly and Jamie and Bridal Team Green is represented by Melissa. All fierce competitors. All ready to win the wedding of their dreams. So, what do the ladies need to do?

Melissa immediately thinks GAME PLAY and goes to Amberly to form an alliance against Jamie. Amberly promptly tells Jamie. You know how girls are. Much to Melissa's chagrin, Cynthia informs them when they arrive for the final Marital Mission there will be no alliances- DOH!- and each girl will be competing alone.

For "The Long Haul" mission, each woman must listen to her fiance on the other end of a walkie talkie. The fiance will ask a question. If the contestant gets it right, she gets to go to an exercise station, complete the exercise, and go to the next station. If she answers it incorrectly, she must complete an exercise penalty and then go to the next station. The bride who gets to her fiance first wins a date night with her guy and a guaranteed spot in the finals.

I felt so badly for these girls! When they heard their guys voice, they all started crying. They all wanted it so much, but in the end, Melissa made it to the end and got to see her fiance Billy. The other girls had to say good bye over the walkie talkie. Wee woo.

Melissa gets to meet Cynthia on the weight loss pier of winners, losing 5 pounds to make her new weight 150 from 155. ""I am a weight loss machine!" she says.

Amberly and Jamie head to the Fitting Room to find out who will be joining Melissa in the finals.

Jamie: From 130 lbs to 128 lbs- 2 lbs lost

Amberly: From 149 lbs to 144 lbs- 5 lbs lost

Although the decision is ultimately Cynthia's, she brings in Melissa to add her two cents. She wants to get rid of Jamie (of course), while Steve votes for Amberly. Cynthia decides on Amberly since Jamie gained weight one week and lost no weight another week and Amberly was always consistent.

Jamie goes home "a whole new Jamie: I am strong. I have self esteem."

Cynthia sends Melissa and Amberly home for the last leg of the competition. The girls must lose more weight over four weeks, come back to Bridal Bootcamp, and have a final weigh in to determine the winner. There is a furious work out montage between Melissa and Amberly, each one "pushing it into overdrive."

One month later, we are back in the Fitting Room. Cynthia looks the same, Steve looks the same, Francesca looks the same, but the two ladies look stunning and SMALL. They are ready to weigh in and see who gets the wedding of their dreams! As their fiance's look on, the women take their place on the scale.

Melissa: From 150 lbs to 129.6 lbs- 20.4 lbs lost- 13.6 % body weight: 52 total lbs lost

Amberly: From 144 lbs to 124.4 lbs- 19.6 lbs lost- 13.61 % body weight: 44 total lbs lost

Amberly wins by 1/10 of a pound! Melissa's fiance promises that they will have the wedding of their dreams no matter what, and with that, the contest is over.

Fast forward to Amberly preparing for her vintage 1940's wedding to fiance Ed, complete with side pony tail and dress that shows her classy shoulder tattoo of a Playboy bunny. Cynthia was there, Steve was there, and Amberly looked lovely and thin. The wedding of her dreams was achieved!

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The end.

Bridal Boot Camp- episode 6: "Now I can touch it!"

There are only four bridezillas left at Bridal Boot Camp: Bridal Team Green's Melissa and Kacey and Bridal Team Blue's Amberly and Jamie. All strong competitors. All ready to take home their dream wedding.

Francesca speaks and tells us that her team must "give me more than they've ever given me" which translates into a hardcore boot camp workout that Melissa calls "horrendous". Steve has a different approach: Making his team pull a huge truck up and down a dirt road while singing Christmas carols. Which approach will work for the next Marital Mission?

Cynthia and the trainers meet the girls at the Bouquet Relay: sprint to a rock climbing wall, climb rock climbing wall, zip line down, pass bouquet to the next girl. Even with a 20 second lead, Melissa still gets creamed by Amberly who quickly takes the lead, passing her bouquet to Jamie who takes the win. In a scene we keep seeing week after week, Blue Team wins and Green Team loses. The prize is a surprise visit from Bridal Team Blue's matrons of honor.

At the winner's weigh in pier:

Jamie: From 133 lbs to 130 lbs- 3 lbs lost

Amberly: From 152 lbs to 149 lbs- 3 lbs lost

Kacey and Melissa head to the Fitting Room, where Cynthia will be choosing who will be heading to the finale.

Kacey: From 132 lbs to 130 lbs- 2 lbs lost

Melissa: From 161 lbs to 155 lbs- 6 lbs lost

Melissa lists off the two biggest accomplishments of her life:

1.) Getting Billy to propose to her.

2.) Losing 27 pounds.

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Cynthia agrees, keeping Melissa over Kacey in a not too surprising twist. Melissa still has some weight to lose and Kacey is TINY.

Next episode is some game play- advantage Amberly?